Moved back home for the rest of the summer.
I have mirrors in my room and my bathroom is so close. Whenever I have mirrors around, I pick. For a while, I did so well because where I was living, I had no mirror in my room and also had to share a bathroom.
Every time I go to my room, I have to pass my bathroom which makes it so tempting to look in the mirror.
I HATE MIRRORS!! They are the problem!
I have to admit, for the first time in a long time, I feel in control. I don’t think that I’ve been this successful at abstaining in years. Sure, I’d go through phases of days or weeks (at the most) where I’d abstain but in the end, I always relapsed. Lately, I’ve been distracted. Because I have so many roommates right now that I enjoy spending time with, I don’t pick. Because when I pick and my face looks shitty, I don’t want to be around people. So my desire to socialize has definitely been winning. Plus, I don’t have a mirror in my room which helps out much more than I could have ever though.
It feels amazing to go out in public, sans makeup, and feel great about yourself. When I don’t have blemishes to hide, I can socialize all I want and my life is so much more fulfilling. I don’t have to recluse in my room anymore in fear of being seen in public. It feels absolutely amazing. I feel free.
I didn’t completely abstain last week on my period. However, I did much better than I normally do. For the most part, I didn’t wear any makeup other than tinted moisturizer. And when I’m usually on my period, my hormones freak out resulting in acne and negative emotions that drive me to pick at my acne. It’s been my number one challenge and this week, I made it out feeling good about myself.
I’ll admit, there’s this Burts Bees Herbal Blemish Stick that I over apply to my blemishes. However, it doesn’t have harsh ingredients in it and it actually works decently in my opinion. It’s great for newly formed cysts and juicy whiteheads.
Applying a natural blemish treating oil definitely beats picking at my acne. I kind of feel like I’ve replaced my “picking” with my “applying” of the herbal blemish stick. I know it’s not completely healthy but I think it’s a step in the right direction because I’m not directly touching my face every day. Soon enough if I completely conquer this habit, and my skin is clear, I’m sure it’ll stop as well.
my skin is clear until my period now.
at least i have it under control about 50% of the time
just gotta fight this pms