Moved back home for the rest of the summer.
I have mirrors in my room and my bathroom is so close. Whenever I have mirrors around, I pick. For a while, I did so well because where I was living, I had no mirror in my room and also had to share a bathroom.
Every time I go to my room, I have to pass my bathroom which makes it so tempting to look in the mirror.
I HATE MIRRORS!! They are the problem!
I have to admit, for the first time in a long time, I feel in control. I don’t think that I’ve been this successful at abstaining in years. Sure, I’d go through phases of days or weeks (at the most) where I’d abstain but in the end, I always relapsed. Lately, I’ve been distracted. Because I have so many roommates right now that I enjoy spending time with, I don’t pick. Because when I pick and my face looks shitty, I don’t want to be around people. So my desire to socialize has definitely been winning. Plus, I don’t have a mirror in my room which helps out much more than I could have ever though.
It feels amazing to go out in public, sans makeup, and feel great about yourself. When I don’t have blemishes to hide, I can socialize all I want and my life is so much more fulfilling. I don’t have to recluse in my room anymore in fear of being seen in public. It feels absolutely amazing. I feel free.
I didn’t completely abstain last week on my period. However, I did much better than I normally do. For the most part, I didn’t wear any makeup other than tinted moisturizer. And when I’m usually on my period, my hormones freak out resulting in acne and negative emotions that drive me to pick at my acne. It’s been my number one challenge and this week, I made it out feeling good about myself.
I’ll admit, there’s this Burts Bees Herbal Blemish Stick that I over apply to my blemishes. However, it doesn’t have harsh ingredients in it and it actually works decently in my opinion. It’s great for newly formed cysts and juicy whiteheads.
Applying a natural blemish treating oil definitely beats picking at my acne. I kind of feel like I’ve replaced my “picking” with my “applying” of the herbal blemish stick. I know it’s not completely healthy but I think it’s a step in the right direction because I’m not directly touching my face every day. Soon enough if I completely conquer this habit, and my skin is clear, I’m sure it’ll stop as well.
my skin is clear until my period now.
at least i have it under control about 50% of the time
just gotta fight this pms
I can’t survive my period.
Period=hormones=acne. And when I get acne, I pick. I mean, it’s so hard not to!
Now it sucks because I don’t want to be seen without makeup on. I can’t just relax and hang out with roommates when my face looks this bad. :(
I’m not 100% pick-free but it’s been minimal.
My skin looks good enough that I haven’t worn makeup in weeks!
I’ve been using Differin ritualistically, exfoliating my face nightly, and moisturizing it daily (with SPF!). However, for the first time in what seems like a while, I’m getting quality sleep every singly night. I’ve also been eating well and exercising somewhat regularly. Thus, I’ve been giving my skin a chance to repair itself.
I pretty much avoid the mirror. I still wash my face once a day but I make a point to be in and out quickly before I do too much damage.
My bad habit used to be that I was constantly checking up on my face in the mirror; always wanting to know how my skin looked at a particular moment. If my skin looked awful, I wanted to be completely aware of it. Even if my skin looked good, I wanted to see the flaws in it.
I keep reminding myself everyday that I can’t squeeze. I literally, irrationally, think “I’ve been so good lately…just one little squeeze won’t hurt. I deserve to remove SOME puss at least. Right?” It’s hard but I’ve been trying to figure out other ways to “reward” myself. That doesn’t involve picking. It’s so easy because I can do it right on the spot right away.
Sometimes I feel like I take it for granted when my skin is clear. I feel AWFUL when my skin has blemishes on it. When my skin is clear, instead of feeling wonderful or relieved, I just don’t feel AWFUL anymore. Which is nice for a change. I’m just saying that having clear skin isn’t going to make everything wonderful. It’s just one less thing to feel awful about.
It’s nice that for a change, I’m able to go about my day and do whatever the hell I want without worrying about my skin. I used to stay in a lot when my skin looked bad.
I’m not going to lie: thank god my period is over. My symptoms aren’t too bad but my acne flares up which leads to me picking which leads to disaster.
I’m just trying to not focus on it
I have been so super busy that I’m too exhausted to pick when I get home. Usually I’ll just wash off my makeup and change into my pajamas without a second thought. I’m so sick of wasting my energy and time worrying about how my skin looks.
Granted, it’s easier to not worry about it when it’s clear, which it mostly is right now. I love being able to dab Visine on a few spots (to reduce redness) and leave the house with no foundation on. I hope I can keep this up.
Why does my skin look gross? I literally cannot function like a normal person because of this.
I want to feel comfortable and sexy in my own skin. I won’t lie: I’m not ashamed to say that I think I am pretty and that I like my body. Picking at my face overshadows the beauty I have and it’s so hard sometimes to take off my makeup at night because my skin looks flawless from a distance but the second I wash my face, there are so many red blemishes and this is when I am most likely to pick
Doesn’t it just suck when you have picked to the point that you are not leaving your house or socially functioning? Today I did not go to clas, I did not go to the gym, and I did not respond to any text messages from friends who wanted to meet up. And when I have picked, sex is out of the question. I mean, is it not better when you k ow that he can look at your face without seeing red spots on it? Or knowing you can wake up in the morning and look good without worrying about how your skin looks? I cannot even fantasize about sec after I picked because I feel so unsexy and worthless.
It is so hard to not pick when mirrors are present
I’m trying to convince myself to be gentle with my skin. I think a big part of me will pick at it out of frustration. Sometimes I feel like I’m punishing my skin when things aren’t going my way.
so here goes one day… :)
omg why can’t I just fucking stop? What is wrong with me? What is the MATTER with me?
I feel like such a piece of shit sometimes because I just can’t keep my hands off. I mean, it’s such a simple task yet I cannot do it!
And it’s so hard to not obsess over my skin when it looks this bad.
I put the paper back on the mirror. I’m going to try and not have people over because it’s annoying to constantly take it up and down.
Why can’t I stop? I just want my imperfections to all go away
I didn’t really pick at anything except for a few milia where puss came out and no blood. But even though it was harmless, I’m aiming to quit picking all together.
None of it is good for me and I have to stop associating pleasure with picking. It doesn’t matter what the state of my face is, I just need to stop focusing on it.
Although I am pleased to admit that right now it is relatively clear…until you look really close