Stretch K

The exclamation point is a little bit of self convincing. I’m 44, starting a new career as a union sheet metal worker and after 7+ years of struggling with a woman with whom I’ve lowered my standards again and again, it’s over. I’m living in Greeley, CO, commuting to Aurora, CO, next to Devner (that’s a 65 mile drive each way), working as a first year apprentice in a 12 story building as a construction worker, trying to learn a trade before my body wears out so much that I have to take a massive chemical cocktail simply to walk to the car. I pay almost $300 per WEEK in child support despite never having made more than $9.15/hr at the time of the most recent court order (over 8 years ago), which means during a 40 hour week I bring home approximately $80/week.

I’m married but not for much longer. My relationship has been a struggle since the beginning, 7 + years. I know I jumped into this relationship way, way too quick but I was in a bad way and wasn’t really thinking clearly; as well, I was lied to, important info was kept from me and I was put on a guilt trip from the get go.

I’m writing this so I can organize my thoughts and maybe make friends. I am very computer literate but have shied away from online “communities”, message boards or chats. I figured I wouldn’t just start talking to a stranger on the street so why do it online but I find myself so isolated that I’m gonna tax the few people I have left in this world to talk with, to lean on for emotional support.

Honestly, I can be happy and I find lots of things to be grateful for. My motto is “the grass is always browner on the other side”. For years my biggest struggle was not being able to see my son; He turned 18 last year and we have re-established a relationship that is amazing for an eight year absence. During that time the woman I’ve been with has refused, very passive agressively but still refused, to take responsibility for her life. She’s worked, and at a decent paying job at that, and she used to be very good at that job, but she’s massively codependent, juggles various addictive behaviors including substances and any happiness I have been able to take from my experiences she sees as something to envy. No more.

Thoughts, insights or just reaching out would be great. Dont’ be a&&holes if you’ve been or are on the other end of the stick and need to vent, I sure don’t need it right now. It’s enough just to keep my head above water emotionally, financially and physically.

Thanks, Chris

So I’ll post my real entry there. ;}

Use 2 alarm clocks, set 6 minutes apart. Put a glass of water in front of your alarm clock, full, so you have to spill it to turn the clock off, you’ll wake up. Buy one with a headphone out, plug in a speaker to it, long cord, put the clock across the room. Get more sleep; I like melatonin, every single night. Go to bed earlier. Have a cup of coffee, even cold coffee right next to the bed.