thedecoy

it’s kind of weird to think that i want to be something that seems to contradict my personality. i’m a pretty reserved person—maybe i’m trying to make up for it with music? i’ve only ever performed live twice, and it didn’t go well both times (probably due to the fact i wasn’t prepared enough, but still). it seems like a very erratic, in-over-my-head decision looking back.

I don’t know what’s more important. Lyrics or music. I guess the most important thing is that they go well together?

I definitely think vocals are important. I can’t get used to the sound of my voice (does anyone?). I think it doesn’t have enough depth.

My music’s at http://suclid003.imeem.com/music if interested.

I’m so unsure. I want to be a singer/songwriter but I don’t know where to start to look for a band to join. I’ve only started writing songs and playing guitar and harmonica for the past four months, but I’ve been playing piano since I was five. I can’t focus. I wonder if I should keep on plugging away at my public health degree (I’m in my third year) or give up and just ignore my parents and do music. I feel isolated with this impossible dream. I feel so anxious. Am I truly a musician? Can I write songs worth listening to? What can I write songs about when my ordinary life is so boring, and when I suffer from a lack of identity? Will I make a better musician or a better health policy maker?

I’m perfectly fine with being a musician. But a professional musician? A rock musician? I can’t tell what’s me and what’s not.