thehater

i hate my job and i want to be flexible and not waste my life in the same tiny cramped office. and i want to take afternoon naps.

i have been frightened all my life. of not being good enough, of being too good, of taking risks and of being judged. lots of it came from growing up in an insecure household, some of it was going through a violent experience when i was younger. Some of it was having undiagnosed epilepsy that caused depression and anxiety. but most of it was feeling like i didnt deserve to be good, or happy, or loved, or safe. or succesful.

i have jumped through hoops to get to a point where i AM safe, happy, loved. Now i want to be successful, and want to learn how to let poeple know my strengths. i need to branch out and not be so damn afraid of life. i need to take control and just DO IT.

taking responsibility is hard, but not as hard as not taking responsibility. trust me, the amount of stress we create for ourselves by avoiding responsibility and not tackling the things that need to be done is far worse in the long run. Take responsibility quickly, be honest with the people around you and be willing to do whatever you need to to follow through. people will respect you for it.