I was so, so lucky. My depression came mostly in the form of a giant fog. Most of the time I simply did not know what I was feeling, what was going on around me, how I was relating to other people, and so on. It was like I was disconnected from the world. I was committed to the psych ward, literally less than a week before my college graduation, against my will. But once there, my head cleared somehow and I realized that this was not the way my life had to be. I did not need to be miserable all the time. I wasn’t doomed. That was the kicker. Of course I’m still on daily medication and see my therapist 2x a month, and of course I have nights when I cry myself to sleep, and panic attacks, and moments of hopelessness. I am not a bright ray of optimism, by any means. But the sadness, when it comes, is different: I simply have perspective now.
Everyone has their moment of clarity. Grab it when you get it and don’t let go. It’s hard as hell, but it’s worth it.