Kirs10

So it’s been more than a month since I last wrote. I haven’t written partly because I’ve been wicked busy, and partly because I’ve been embarrassed that things haven’t changed much… until the last week. =) I realized I needed to cope with some issues I have with food. I grew up with my mom telling me she was fat and not eating and exercising way too much. She gave me a really effed up mentality. So I used to eat too little and when no one was around binge eat and then punish myself by exercising too much. Well a few weeks ago something clicked in me and I decided it was time to change it. So I had my first counseling session last Thursday and I loved it. I already feel myself changing. It’s going to be a long journey to not obsessing about either not eating or eating… but I’m optimistic.

I ate pizza last night for the first time in God knows how long. I allowed myself. I felt guilty, but the fact that I did it says something. I didn’t fast today and althought I went to the gym, I didn’t overdo it. Hooray!!!

Oh and weight-wise I was embarrassed that I haven’t lossed any weight in about 2 months. I actually gained back about 3 pounds. But I’ve been working out five days a week and I can see my body changing. And today we fixed my scale and found out it was five pound too high! So I actually have lost about 2 pounds. Not a lot but really exciting. Also.. this got me really excited.. we found out my scale reads body fat and muscle percentage and mine was really good!

weight: 138.8 (I wanted to be 130 by July 4th, but I’m truly happy with my progress!)
body fat: 21% (healthy range for most women is between 20-30!!)
muscle percentage: 41%
weight lost since March 5: 13.2 pounds

Get excited! =D

So my celebration week for getting through freshman year is over!Final grades are back and I got an A in newswriting, A+ in History of Women, B+ in Spanish, and A+ in honors statistics! What a relief!!! But now it’s back to eating well and working out. No excuses.

I weighed myself on the 2 scales in my house and 1 said 143 and the other said 140, so I'm just going with 143 (so best case scenario: I lose 3 extra pounds!) and I'll stick with that one.

I woke up and did a bunch of sit ups.

B: fruit and fiber smoothie (strawberries, 1/2 banana, low cal yogurt, crystal light, 1/2 cup fiber one, ice) about 180 calories

Then laid out by the pool for a while (was going to go swimming but it was chilly!) came back inside, danced to music for like 45 minutes, did more sit ups, push ups, and lunges.

Snack: Coffee/ handful of Go Lean Crunch (120 calories)

L: I made a chocolate soy/ fiber shake… my own recipe. It was yummy! I used 1 60 calorie chocolate pudding, a cup of milk, 2 cups ice, a cup of water, 1 sweet n’ low, 1 scoop vanilla soy powder, and 1/2 cup fiber one cereal. About 250 calories.

I’m kind of smoothie happy because I have access to kitchen appliances for the first time in months! it’s awesome. I want to try tons of recipes and stuff!

That’s where I’m at! =)550… but I’m sure I underestimated something in there or forgot something I ate, so I’ll say I’m at 700 for good measure.

SW (3/5/08): 152
CW (5/12/08): 143
WL : 9 pounds
GW1 (7/4/08) : 130
GW2 (8/20/08 : 125

If I don’t reach goal 1, I’m not going to be that upset. I know I’m doing everything I can and I can’t help if it’s out of my reach. But a girl can dream.

Hope everyone’s kickin butt and looking amazing in those bathing suits!!

Monday: Finals
Tuesday: Finals/Moving out
Wednesday:Moving out, driving home
Thursday: River all day
Friday: Visiting old friends/ bowling till 2 am
Saturday: Woke up at 5 to go visit my grandma 6 hours away who had emergency heart surgery
Sunday: Drove back 6 hours and finally can relax.

This week has been crazy… I haven’t worked out once or paid much attention to my eating. It’s been pretty sporatic. Between eating nothing in my empty dorm, being taken out by friends and family several times and eating bad, and forgetting to eat because I’m so busy, my body must be really confused. But tomorrow starts a new week, and I’m back to eating healthy. I went a full 2 months without any major slip ups and this was a really off week. I’ve forgiven myself. I’ll start fresh tomorrow for a new 2 months! 10 pounds off…10 more to go to my first goal.

I’m feeling really good. When I saw my old friends for the first time in a few months, they commented on how good I looked, and I feel so much more healthy! My Lupus is calming down, my skin is clearing up, and I feel so much stronger.

This is DEFINITELY a lifestyle change.=)