thismuchistrue

I know myself so well… I did eat more because I thought I had a cushion! Work is going well though! Which is good and bad, I went out drinking/dancing this weekend with coworkers which is bad for my diet but good for my social life. It was also like 105 degrees this past weekend, and I literally existed on only ice cream. I had an entire pint of ben and jerry’s one day and an ice cream cone the next.

The bright side is I didn’t gain, I just haven’t lost at all. Or well, I did gain, but not since I last logged. Last Thursday I was at 126.6, and now I’m back up to 127.4 It just really sucks that I lost a week. But I’m back on track and I CAN make this work. Starting this weekend, bar classes once more!

So my period is gone and I officially weigh… 127.2 pounds! I’m within 12 pounds of my goal weight! And it’s totally possible (and expected) that I’ll be 125 by Sunday… it’s only 1.2 pounds in four days! That’s like 3800 calories burned, and I’ll have the weekend to actually exercise. So by the wedding (11/11) I should definitely get myself to 115.

That’s the biggest problem with this job… I work 10-11 hours a day, and by the time I get home going to a bar class, or doing an physical activity at all, is the last thing on my mind. It’s like 8 pm, I’m stressed and tired and just want to watch TV or go to sleep. I think once I’m less stressed about this job, I’ll be able to start going to the 7:30 AM bar classes that are right across the street from the office, which would be amazing. Then all my exercise would be done by the time I finish work.

So this week has consisted of basically no exercise. I walked three miles yesterday after work, and that’s it since Sunday. I’ve still been following my diet really strictly, and I’m still losing, so I figure I can allow myself the week off to adjust to work. I’m already ahead of schedule anyway! My timeline has me at 125 on Sept 30th, so I’ve got some room to spare. Though, knowing me, that will just make me eat more thinking I’ve got some cushion.

115, here I come!

I broke my plateau! First I weighed in at 129.8 (still success!) and then for two days I was at 129.4. So at least it’s holding steady. Also, something that might explain the stall in weight loss—I got my period yesterday! Which is fantastic because 1. it explains why I wasn’t losing, 2. when I weigh in at the end of the week (I never weigh myself while I have it), it’ll be even lower, and finally, 3. it explains my cravings!

Yesterday I ate bad food. Like, really, really bad. A PINT of Ben and Jerry’s and FOUR slices of pizza. Somehow, I still came in at negative calories (only -200, which is barely a loss, but hey, it’s not a gain!). I’ve been using fitday to keep track, and I reallyyy love that tool. It’s great to see everything I’ve eaten listed, to see all my exercise taken into account, and it’s SO motivational to see -1500, and then the next day see the half pound missing from the scale. It really reinforces the truth that it’s just arithmetic, and my goals are attainable.

In less pro-weight loss (but more pro-happiness) news, I got a job! Which is amazing for so many reasons but does mean that my constant exercising throughout the day is going to drop off dramatically. But there is a bar studio RIGHT across from where I work, so I’m going to try to be motivated enough to take the 7am classes there and then work my (TEN HOUR) days afterwards.

But mini goal achieved! Back in the 120s! Next mini goal: reach 125! I can so do this.

Well, I have my first job! Last week was basically spent interviewing, and man was it intense! I interview with 5 people total, including 2 partners. But I would say the most intimidating part was just the first one with HR, because it was my first interview in… 6 years? Once I nailed that one I found my confidence and it all took off from there.

I start Monday, and have to work my way up from the mailroom, but I’m crazy excited. It’s funny, cause these jobs have TERRIBLE reputations, and basically everyone has guaranteed me I will be miserable. So I guess I should be excited while the excitement lasts?

In better news, everyone I met there was reallyyyy nice and really personable, so that’s cool. And I get benefits! And will hopefully work my way out of the mailroom asap! The dress is business formal, so I literally have to buy an entire new wardrobe, but I’m excited to dress like a real adult with a real job.

Wish me luck! And both friends and quick promotions.

visited 24 states (48%)Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Caerfai Chemical Simulation

I generally weight +/- 125 pounds. However, various (and simultaneous) family/friend/romance issues led to a period of extreme overeating and binging, etc. I stopped weighing myself completely, but then unhealthy eating lasted for about 8 months (oh jesus). I have no idea how much I weighed, but it was AT LEAST a 20 pound gain. I started getting serious about getting back into shape (or just fitting into my clothes, feeling like myself, etc.) in mid-July. I weighed myself after dieting a bit and it came in at 141. So, that was some intense weight gain, and that’s definitely not what I was at my highest.

I’ve been dieting pretty strictly, and exercising fairly often, and I’m stuck at 130. I think I ruined my metabolism, constantly binging and then starving myself and that sucksssss. So this time I’m forcing myself to eat, and eat clean. No crazy diets (atkins works SO well and is such a temptation, but doesn’t last and I truly believe RUINED my naturally awesome metabolism). I’m getting active—trying to do bar method classes 4-5 times a week, hiking, I’ve just signed up for ariel silk classes, pole dancing classes, swing dance classes, AND roller derby classes (I’m unemployed, living in a city where I know no one… I’m going out of my mind with boredom/solitude). Hopefully this will help!

So… I’m at 130. I’ve lost 11 pounds, and I think the more I lose the more motivated I will be. Really, this is a two part goal: get back to 125 (please, god), and then get to 115 (totally doable).

So I kind of dropped the ball on this. Working full time, studying/interning in LA, and visiting London every school break got in the way. But now that I’ve graduated (and am sadly unemployed), I have all my motivation back! Gotta get get.

I have all but two documents now! One I just need to pay for and one I still need to locate. There are some serious date and name discrepancies, but first I have to make an appointment with the consulate and see what they’ll accept as is and what I need amendments for. This is just more difficult because they are already booked until 2013 and I am not as close to Boston as I once was. But I’ll get it done. I will be a citizen of the world!

So since writing my original entry, I’ve spent five more months living in London. And, interestingly, my time there in 2011 was even better than 2010. It was so good I can’t even explain it, really. I am not moving this to complete because I want to live there long-term, but as of now I can very comfortably say that I have a real and full life in London. I can also say, for better or for worse, that I have more friends there then I have in the states! It’s where I’m happiest, and I will probably never feel fully settled until I’m living there full time.

So this was originally moved into the “given up” section. But I ended up having to switch into a 70s film class last semester, so it accidentally got accomplished. I’m happy it did—I had given up because I LOVED the 60s films, and kind of couldn’t get into New Wave. But I did, during this semester, and learned so much. Still like the 60s more.

During the road trip we stopped at a random tattoo place in Jackson, Mississippi. Jackson is much rougher than we were expecting, and maybe our google-fu was really failing, but we ended up just eating at The Waffle House as we couldn’t find anywhere else open. Then we went to Dr. Ink, whose parlor is in a warehouse, but was super nice. Everyone but one of us got a tattoo. I got birds on my ankle. It’s my own “design” but it’s basically just V’s. I really like it, though I might get bigger birds over it, I’m not sure. Or just another bird tattoo, haha, because I don’t want to lose the memory or this one.

I’ve been there since January 10th, just signed a year long lease May 1st. Not 100% sure it’s not a mistake—it was always the plan to travel as soon as I graduate, and I also have NO money, but I’m gonna give it a shot. I loved my internship, I love the city, I think spending at least the summer there is a great plan. Then I’ll reassess based on work/friends/happiness level and maybe sublet.

I left on new year’s day, 2012, to drive from Boston to Los Angeles, where I would be spending my final semester of college (and, unknown to me, the next year most likely). Along the way we stayed with friends, or got a hotel room (a a discount b/c one of our co-travelers’s stepmom works at a hotel chain). We took two cars and stopped in the following: Pittsburg, Roanoke, Knoxville, Nashville, Memphis, Jackson, NOLA, Austin, Roswell, Tucson, and San Diego. It was amazing and I’d love to do it again!

Something a little strange about me—I’m obsessed with the Kennedy family. Mostly the older (and dead) generation, but JFK, RFK, and even Teddy are just endlessly fascinating to me. JFK I relate to as a person. I mean, I know he was completely fucked up and cheated on Jackie all the time, and people like to pretend he was a drug addict and such. And it’s not that I overlook or condone his flaws, and would never date someone like that, etc. But as someone, a president, I find him so relatable and human and interesting. That despite all the work he put into appearing one way, he was almost the opposite of everything people thought he was. Healthy. “Vigorous.” Happily married. Religious. Plus way back in the 20s and 30s he had a gay best friend and roommate, and that’s pretty cool of a young man in those times. RFK is a really tragic figure to me, and by all accounts was pretty depressed and somber. And completely devastated when his brother died. Like, utterly wrecked. But the man, the politician, that came out of that? RFK, to me, will always be the best president we never had. I really believe our country lost more than we can really comprehend on the day he died. Even more so than when Jack died. RFK was going to change things, help the minorities, the underrepresented, the poor, the disadvantaged. I think our country would be a fairer, better place had he lived. And Teddy, well he was an AMAZING senator. He probably accomplished more than his brothers combined, and it makes me sad, makes me scared, that he’s not still out there, forming our laws, protecting our country.

I haven’t smoked in… almost four months now. I’m very, very worried though, because in two weeks I’m going back to London, which is where all my smoker friends live and where I started smoking and where I drink the most. So. If I make it through that then I have officially quit. If not. Then I quit again once I’m back. Just keep trying, I guess.

I’ve recently returned from Guatemala, where I was teaching English and taking Spanish lessons. While living there, because I was constantly translating and speaking and listening in Spanish (and I mean everything—both my host family and the staff at the school I worked at spoke no English whatsoever, and then the radio, the television, the signs, etc, your brain adapts to Spanish), my ability rose SO much. I could understand SO much, and was learning new phrases at a remarkable pace. This has reinvigorated my desire to learn Spanish SO much. I want to do this by immersion. I honestly believe if no the only, then certainly the best, way to learn a language is through immersion. Spain, here I come!

So I have some progress updates! I received the birth and marriage certificates for both my great-great-grandfather/mother from their comune in Italy. All in Italian, but I got it, for free! I sent in an index request to USCIS (immigration), heard back (my gggrandfather naturalized in the 40s), emailed the district court he did this in and am waiting for the certified copy of that record to arrive any day now. So now I just need to get everything sent to an apostille to be certified, and then I can submit my request to the consulate! I am so very excited. This means my dream/goal/life ambition of being able to move to Europe upon graduation is not impossible, as it was before I realized this option. Now, not only is it possible, it is LIKELY. I am so happy!

I just got back from volunteering in Antigua, Guatemala (3). While there I also went to El Salvador (4) and Lago de Atitlan (5). I also stayed a night in Atlanta during a layover, but I’m not counting that! Getting ready to go back to London in a few weeks! I’m going to try to go to Ireland and either Spain or Greece while I’m in Europe!

The Graduate, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Rosemary’s Baby… the sixties had some really great films.

I’ve always wanted/needed/planned on becoming an EU citizen at some point. However my options were always really limited, short of grad school or tricking someone into marriage. My mother is eligible for Irish citizenship, and when helping her research the requirements I realized—I’m eligible for Italian citizenship! I’ve only started the process this weekend, but as of now I’ve emailed my great-great grandparents’ comune in Italy asking for their records, emailed immigration about my gggrandfather’s immigration status, and am going home this week to get my (living) family member’s records.

I am VERY excited and VERY nervous something will come to light that will make me ineligible. For example there’s someone with my gggrandfather’s EXACT name who was born in London, not Italy, meaning no citizenship. It took me two days to discover they were born 20 years apart so THANK GOD are not the same person with two different birth records!

So far this year I’ve been to London and Austin, TX. Both amazing, and though incredibly different, I love them for similar reasons.