throwbackk

I’ve written you countless love letters in the past, pages and pages of them; never sent – maybe once on my own accord. You remember when I first liked you a couple years ago? I partly think that my crush on you has helped develop this great friendship of ours. So in a way, I’m glad I’m in love with you. We’d be good together too, but for some reason God didn’t want it that way. So perhaps the best thing we will ever be to each other is friends. Most days I can deal with that & some days I really can’t. What can you do about it though, right?

Lately, when I think of you I feel sorry – like I screwed up, you know the times I make you feel bad, but I was just a mess, you know – about you again. The days I can’t take this, it’s like really hard to cope with our situation & our level of relationship. I deal with it somehow though, `cause I realize I’ll still have you in my life even if I can’t have you that way. & In an odd way that’s enough. It’s enough when you say you feel the same; I feel like I can possibly live off those words for the rest of my life. Though I’ve never met you yet, I miss talking to you, I miss your smile & your laugh & I miss that space in my brain you used to take up. Anyway, I love you Precious.

Your,
Snookums

PS – I love the idea of sending fax love notes to each other everyday now.. Your writing is adorable <3

So my new chick for my love story is about my best friend. I’ve got a chapter done already too!! =] It’s gonna be like a notebook of unsent love letters to her..

I’ve been fighting alot with my feelings lately. I’m married, but my wife is so open with our relationship; it drives me insane. I read somewhere that it’s easier to fall in love than to stay in love with someone. I think it’s true.

I think, or maybe I know I’ve fallen for my best friend already. & It kills me to know I can’t pursue anything with her; even if I was able to I don’t know if it’d still be easy to stay in love with her either – which is why I won’t try to risk it. The only thing I guess I can have is this harmless flirting with her – & these small moments where she tells me she wants no one else but me – & I can live off that forever. I don’t think this has anything to do with being true to myself? But I needed to write this..