thundernlightning

i guess this is more a -meet people i like thing rather than just meet more people in general.

i have very few people that i actually REALLYYYY like and get on with. don’t get me wrong – i like people and get on with them but there are so few that i REALLY REALLY like – ya know??

most of the people i know – i could no way hang out with them on a regular basis – most people just know one side of me – but i’m a very varied person. my tastes in everything are so far stretched that – yeah i can get on with a variety of people – but its just i know so few people who know all sides of me.

i dont purposely hide myself – it’s just i never get the chance to portray myself properly – either because the conversation is so limited, the situations we find ourselves in our limited, etc..

and the people who i do find who like a lot of different things are usually very pretentious about – like they only like a certain thing based on the fact that it is “different” and, therefore, “cool”.

i’m nothing like that. i’m a very much, i like this because i enjoy it, i can appreciate the effort/thought/creativity behind it and all the rest.

people these days seem to be ashamed to admit they like mainstream things, and so many are opting for the ‘different’ – which is now just very mainstream anyway!

when i tell people one of my favourite filmes is ‘SuperBad’ they look at me disapprovingly – like it’s wrong to like something mainstream, comical and light hearted. what is so wrong with liking light-hearted things?

yet – on the other hand, there are those people who do not like anything intellectual – they party every night and have countless one night stands.

...where are the middle people? the inbetweeners? the people who can enjoy a little bit of everything, can have fun, not take life too seriously, yet induldge in deeper conversations when the mood strikes.

pah!

i always feel like a bit of weirdo. i seem to think of things in a completely different way to everyone else. in school, things that people sound simple i would find hard, and things they found hard i found simple. i would also attempt to explain how i understood such things and people would be like WHOAAAA I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT ….maybe i’m a secret genius (haha!)

and, i always get this look. it’s a sort of frown with a confused smile – like a ‘should i smile at this, is she joking? or is she actually seriously insane..maybe i should just smile so she doesn’t go crazy on my ass’ – and i seriously don’t know why! i’ll make a passing comment, or a joke or say something i did – for example ’ me and my friend went skating at 1am in an empty car park the other day and then some fat man in a black suit came out of nowhere and ran towards off so we jumped in the car and sped off” ...i mean..IS THAT REALLY THAT WEIRD????!!!
i dont think so – i just think it’s like some fun little adventure.

and sometimes i’ll be having a conversation with someone and i’ll just say something , usually something like ‘well actually it’s not that it’s this’ and the conversation will just end. like suddenly just ..silence.
WHY DO I DO THAT??!!! i don’t mean to be a convo killer its just if somone says something stupid or that is wrong i’m not just gonna stand there and be like ‘yeahhhh’ i am just gonna say ‘you’re wrong its like this’

maybe i do it when the person is trying to be lighthearted tho- like a lot of people say ‘ohh step away dont analyse me’ when i tell them i study psychology – and usually i just say ‘uhh…we don’t actually learn how to do that’ – because 1. we dont – it is very research and theory based and 2. i FUCKING HATE when people undermine me like that! i mean – they are practically take the piss out of because they think it’s a joke subject – well fuck you! without psychology -we would be in a very different place. everything would be different – the adverts you watch would be different – just..so much. i can’t even be bothered to think how much.

it’s like, if someone told me ‘i’m an accountant’ – i wouldnt be like ‘OOHHH u must have no life and must dream in numbers and be the most boring sod in the whole wide world’ – NO! i would say something along the lines of ‘wow, you must have worked hard for that’ or something lame like that.

maybe i’m just old fashioned – i think i am. i mean, i would have no problem getting married, having kids and being a house wife. really. in fact it’s some what appealing to me, despite the fact i am somewhat creative and like to be proactive and get out and do things.

maybe i’m just intimidatingly smart and people feel like they can’t compete – like when i say ACTUALLY ITS LIKE THIS BECAUSE BLAH AND BLAH and tell them facts and theories and shit – then they just shut up coz they don’t know what im talking about and just feel best to just go ‘oh, right’ and then be silent

or maybe i’m just a spazzem and people don’t like me very much! WHO KNOWS!!

AHHHH!!

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I’m aCreative Extroverted Self-Improver

ok
so right now, and well since i was born, i’ve been living in the world’s ugliest country – england ( no offence if you are english – i have seen SOME hott english people – and by some i mean about 5 ever).
men here are like something else. in general they stink, they drink too much beer/cider/anything, and reckon the right way to pick up a girl is to go ‘YOU’RE WELL FIT INNIT’ or ‘MY MATE FANCIES YOU’ while breathing their beer and kebab breath in your face – revolting.
on the other hand, the ones not like this are skinny little shy pussies who would fall over if you poked them.
the exceptions to this are so rare and pretty much are just a bit shit anyway, or not even from england or originally english.

i’m less than a month away from turning 20, practically been celebate for the past 6 months and i’ve given up ALL hope of ever finding someone even fuckable, nevermind dateable or marriable – in this country, i just don’t get on with english people. i don’t know why – it’s like we’re from different planets. every single one of my friends, even if they were born here, are not english – indian, bangladeshi (sp?), australian, swedish, irish, iranian, palestinain, israeli, syrian, danish, french, italian, greek, and finally american.

how is it, that i can get on so well with all these people who have come from so many different backgrounds – yet, i fail so bad at finding anyone i get on with who comes from the country i was born and raised in??
understand? me neither.

anyhow – i’m travelling to the states for over 2 months during the summer, and a big reason im excited about going is that i may just possibley find my soul mate. sounds cheesy, and i’m probably going to be disappointed – but i REALLY believe my chances of finding ‘the one’ are increased by at least 50% if im in the states rather than in this pathetic excuse of a country.

american men – while many large, and largely stupid – they have this charm (maybe it’s the accent), they know how to speak to girls (of course this is generally speaking), and they have this ‘sexy gene’ – maybe it’s the mix of their cultural background – i mean they are practically made up from the whole world historically speaking. PLUS i have always gotten on with american guys. why? i can’t tell you – maybe i just watched a lot of american tv when i was younger, maybe it’s just fate?

anyway – who ever i marry, whether they are american, english or some kinda crazy mix of whateverness – they gotta be my soul mate and we have to be a team – like bert and ernie.
the end.

“take me on a trip i’d like to go some day, take me to new york i’d like to see LA (i’m going both those places this summer woo hoo!) i really want to come kick it with you, you’ll be my american boy, american boy” <—- i’m going to be listening to that on the plane hahahaha!!