time4me

So I’ve been in back to back relationships for the last 10 years. It’s been about 8 months since I became single- a personal record if you don’t count the 17 years before my first date. So I’m ready. Scared, but ready. I’m going to date. It will happen.

I’ve spent so much time trying to mold myself to fit the expectations of others that I’m not sure who I am anymore. It’s a little extreme, but I’ve made a vow to myself to just say what I think and what I’m feeling, without too much regard for others. I’ll stop myself if I think I’m going to hurt someones feelings or somethings, but I’m not going to tailor my opinions to what I think someone else would want it to be anymore. I’m going to be straight with people that I feel have been toxic influences on me, and remove myself from those relationships. It’s time to start thinking more about myself and less about other people, and that is going to require being extremely honest with myself, first and foremost.

I’ve got myself a case of arthritis that has, in the past, rendered me unable to walk. I don’t have insurance, and meds are VERY expensive, not to mention the cost of seeing my specialist. Anyway, I’ve been forced to take things into my own hands. It’s been a good month lately, though, and I’ve started walking. I walk about a mile a day now, and it seems to help some. The first couple of days I was in agony, but now the pain is down to a dull roar, and getting quieter by the day. I’m going to keep it up, we’ll see how it goes. :)