tryingtofindmyself

lately i have been feeling a little more happy, the doctor gave me a presciption for antidepressants and antianxieties and so far they seem to be working, which is good, i haven’t felt this calm and positive in forever it seems. i find myself smiling for no reason, it feels like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and i haven’t felt like crying about trivial things, the only time i’ve cried was last night when my boyfriend held me and told me that he loves me, it has been foreven since he’s done that, i think it was because my mood has been better the last few days and he didn’t dred being around me ^_ yay

i finally scraped up enough money to go to the doctor about my anxiety, my attacks were becoming more frequent and lasting longer, so i went to the doctor and he gave me a prescription to help and it has been working so far as best i can tell, i have been in a better mood, i still feel a little shakey and anxious, but i’m on a really low dose cuz the higher doses put me to sleep, but i can function now and i actually feel like smiling for no particular reason and i’m not worrying myself to death about silly stuff (unless i really really think about it.

may dad taught me how to shoot a rifle, and i think it is something that everyone should know how to do, but i want to lern how to shoot a hand gun, not to hurt anybody, but if someone breaks into my house, i don’t want to be swinging a gun around unless i know what i’m doing (yes my house has been broken into before, but luckily no one was at home so no one was hurt) my boyfriend has taught me haow to take them apart and put them back together, but i can’t hold his up, they’re too heavy for me to learn with, so i need to find one (that i can affford) that is more my size before i can learn. pawn shops, here i come!