ugogrl

“I arise in the morning torn between the desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
- E. B. White

And I’m not dead yet. It’s time to remember my true passions & not let life completely get in the way. I want to be able to maintain a positive and fun-loving attitude towards life even when it gets difficult. I keep reminding myself there are worse things I could be experiencing but there are better ones too and it’s time I take a chance.

I always thought of myself as a risk-taker but I think I’ve only been dreaming those ideas not living them. If I had only 12 months to live everything would be different. Since I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, there has to be a way to live with passion even when there is work to do & bills to pay.

I thought about my former acting/theater days this morning & just having those memories brought me inner joy. Memories are great but I don’t want to live in memories. I want to bring more of that happiness & joy into my life right now!

And me sitting on the computer complaining about it all isn’t exactly helping me to reach this goal. So now I have to make some concrete plans.

My friend has a one-act show that i’ve been meaning to see. The next show is in December. I’m making a point of going.

Another friend invited me to attend his church service to listen to choir Christmas music next month as well.

While it may not be my passion exactly supporting friends in theirs will have me to realize my own.

and I didn’t take it lightly

Actually I couldn’t get the anger out of my voice
when speaking to my “superior” but frankly,
she’s hardly superior

time to re-evaluate the whole she-bang
I have to look after my own best interests
and not sacrifice myself for the so called
“greater good”

I’m realizing that some people have absolutely no conscious
& are willing to do whatever it takes to get money
they will sail there own kids down the river
just to rake it in

supposedly everybody has a price
so maybe I just haven’t found mine yet
god grant me the absolute peace!

A helpful tai chi class

standing up for myself
realizing some ends are dead ends
so move on