um_okay

i dont want to simply survive it, i want to like it. i dont want to wake up and loathe my job, i want to think of the new day as a lovely adventure. i want to love my kids and who they are, not just think of the behaviors i despise. i want to have fun. :)

So I have less than a month until my year is up for this goal. Here’s my progress on all parts…

-completed most of my master’s program, or had finished most of my first year of teaching
Check. I am well on my way to graduation in May. YEA.

-tithed my income
I was. Then I quit going to church. I am donating what is equivalent to tithing though, so I am going to say that this is still done.

-finished the entire bible
Ehm. No. I was doing well, but then my consistency plummeted.

-helped A. come to Christ
I rarely even talk to him anymore. I prayed about it and gave invitations, but it just didn’t happen. I don’t know how I even feel about this type of goal anymore. I wouldn’t want someone praying feverishly that I become Buddhist or Muslim or any other religion. I am happy the way I am. I’m sure he is happy the way he is too, or else he would change. That’s my rationale at this point.

-started volunteering consistently
Absolutely. Check.

-gained a new sense of confidence in all aspects of my life, and thrown away worry
Definitely gained confidence. G and H have shown me how to loosen up and worry less. I realize that I’m not the only self-conscious one. Humans are more alike than we realize. It’s okay to be more open about things. It’s okay to be vocal.

-found my voice
I’m getting there. I’ve performed, but I still get really nervous. I hate to sing for only a few people, as weird as that is. I don’t like direct focus to be on my music.

-done something spectacular and unforgettable
I have experienced so many unforgettable things in the past two and a half months. Love.

-given something huge to someone
Maybe I have given something intangible, like love or encouragement. Those can be huge. I don’t feel that I’ve accomplished what my true intention of this goal was though. I’m not sure how to accomplish it.

this is far away. but i am really working on it. im getting better at guitar, and im taking voice lessons. im getting prepared, and i can tell its helping. one day…