undefeatedxx

I’ve had tons of boyfriends, but I’ve only been in love once.
..
and it sucks.
Why? because I’m still partially in love with my ex, even though he cheated on me twice and he has another girlfriend.
He comes to me whenever him and Tia are having a fight, and steals my heart once again.
I TRY to forget about him. I’ve even stopped talking to him..
but whenever I do end up talking to him, whether it’s because he seeks me out or something..
I just can’t help but be sucked into his trap, yet again.

.. That’s not the only reason I want to fall in love, of course.
I want to because it feels amazing when someone else shares that same feeling with you.
This time I want it to last, though..
Or, well, even if it doesn’t, I’m glad I got the chance to experience that feeling again.

Maybe it’ll happen soon. This guy I like just told me he likes me last night! ;]

lately I’ve been finding friends who TOTALLY ADORE me. hah.
It feels so nice..

and those who don’t really care about me?
well, I’ve been trying to forget them.
If they don’t totally love me, then screw them. Yeah, I’ll talk to them still, and I’ll still like them..
but I won’t get all worked up over it.

Of course, the friends that love me.. they’re not people who live around me.
It seems like everyone who lives around here only cares about themselves.
My best friends I meet online.
.. That may sound weird, I guess.. but.. I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
They’re REAL best friends, minus the fact that I get to hug them and have sleepovers and stuff with them.
One day I will, though. ;] I’ll go meet themmm.

well, I’m off of zoloft.
I’ve been off of it for a while, actually..
but I take two other pills. xD
Adderall and Wellbrutrin.
Adderall is for my ADD, plus it’s a stimulant so I can actually get MOTIVATED to do stuff..
since my type of depression is where I don’t have the will to do ANYTHING, basically..
and wellbrutrin is basically like Adderall minus the ADD stuff.

..
I hate taking pills, yeah, but.. I guess I don’t mind actually having to take them to make me feel better.
If they work, then that’s all the better for me.
.. I’m still leaving this up, though. Maybe one day I can be emotionally strong enough to stand without them.