unicorn101878

Well here it it is three days from when i wrote the other entry about killing myself but then my boyfriend and i made up in which turn caused me to stop wanting to kill myself but now things are right back to where i started from when i wrote two days ago but now its even worse i have my pills are right next to me when i sleep so now all i have to do is wait for him to go to sleep and i will go to sleep forever and not be hurt anymore he says that all i do is hurt him and break his heart well he broke my heart by still making his remarks about how the house is not cleaned but what was worse is that he did it in front of my friend and it was not very nice that he did this horrible thing but still he says that he was right for doing it he know thta i am on sleeping pilss already for being depressed but he still comments on how the house is not done now he says if i take my pills on front of him that he is going to stop me well i tell you one thing he will not because i will do it while he sleeps welll i am going to go to sleep now and wait for him to sleep so i can kill myself

i would like to help someone who has lost a child due to miscarriage for i am a 28 yr old woman who within the last two years has lost both of my children exactally a year and one day apart and i know how it feels to lose the child whom you so wanted to have and the child that you felt kicking inside you it is very hard to go day to day seeing other women carring their child in a car seat around and not you i know how it feels to see others getting bigger with each passing month and not you i would to tell you that you are not alone in the struggle of wanting to kill youself i go every day thinking if only i had done this or that diffrently my children would be alive today but the doctors keep telling me that it had nothing to do with what i did or didnt do it was just that there was something wrong with my son and that my body couldnt take the stress of carrying my daughter but i do know one my boyfriend and i will try again to have another child and by the grace of god and a little help from the doctors we will have another child so if you have experienced the loss of a child beleve me it will get a little easier and what ever you do DONT GIVE UP HOPE OF HAVING ANOTHER CHILD

i have been wanting to kill myself since my daughter died on september 28 it was like my life had ended that day she would have been born on march 4 and it hurts more everyday that she is gone and her father doesn’t help at all by screaming at me it just makes me want to kill myself even more i am only 28 and it feels like the life inside of me is gone i have a whole medicine cabanet full of pills that i can take and just go to sleep and never wake up again and then when THE LIFE IS GONE FROM MY BODY the ones that are left beind wont be bothered by me anymore and it wont bother me because i will be with my daughter again and i wont have to worry about her father screaming at me either so i am going to go and take my pills and go away now