I'm doing 42 things
getting down to 54kg, the lower limit of my healthy weight.
Robin 13's Life List
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1. live for myself
20 cheers111 people -
2. reinvent myself
1 entry . 34 cheers433 people -
3. take one day at a time
6 entries . 29 cheers49 people -
4. Create a beautiful uplifting morning routine
personal challenge . 2 entries . 20 cheers109 people -
5. create a portfolio
6 cheers111 people -
6. write everyday
13 cheers354 people -
7. write my autobiography
3 cheers588 people -
8. Make my own quotes
1 entry . 4 cheers40 people -
9. 13 writing competitions
1 person -
10. Learn to accept.
3 cheers10 people -
11. appreciate what I have
8 cheers770 people -
12. make the most of what i have
3 entries . 8 cheers8 people -
13. learn to love
17 cheers272 people -
14. learn to forgive
11 cheers447 people -
15. be more patient
18 cheers3,234 people -
16. control my anger
3 cheers510 people -
17. do what i want to do
1 entry . 15 cheers96 people -
18. Learn to say no
7 cheers1,324 people -
19. ask for what I want
1 entry . 7 cheers21 people -
20. choose with no regret
21 cheers2 people -
21. Shamelessly be myself
1 entry . 28 cheers11 people -
22. take better care of myself
9 cheers1,437 people -
23. Believe in myself
9 cheers1,346 people -
24. Learn that less is more
1 entry . 6 cheers2 people -
25. appreciate the little things
16 cheers139 people -
26. Live less inside my own head
17 cheers358 people -
27. Let go of the past
5 cheers1,960 people -
28. Live every day like it's my last
1 cheer151 people -
29. Be mysterious
4 cheers64 people -
30. Overcome my eating disorder.
6 entries . 24 cheers422 people -
31. eat healthy
4 cheers3,674 people -
32. listen to my body
5 cheers39 people -
33. be more active
6 cheers723 people -
34. Lose 10kg
1 entry . 1 cheer303 people -
35. Have a beauty routine
6 cheers20 people -
36. have better posture
3 cheers8,065 people -
37. finish my tattoos
5 cheers86 people -
38. Become an alternative model.
1 entry . 4 cheers147 people -
39. learn french
4 cheers12,772 people -
40. finish my studies
2 cheers92 people -
41. Explore London
2 entries . 11 cheers28 people -
42. travel
3 cheers9,051 people
How I did it
It made me
understand. 
How I did it: If I would be asked to describe the last year of my life, these would be the most appropriate 3 words: prolonged, intense introspection. What happened? So much happened… I hit the bottom somewhere last autumn, after 3 months of anorexia, of which I wasn’t aware at the time. I hit the bottom hard, it hurt, and my anger exploded inside of me. I started taking it out at myself, and at the world as well. Regret, bitterness and no kindness. I… Read how I did it…
It made me
Glad & Relieved.
How I did it: I've read a lot of books about the subject, both about nutrition and eating disorders. A lot about how your brain works in relation with food is explained in the latter, where cravings come from, where fat goes. It helped me understand that self-control is only one part of the equation, the other is simply the body's fight to survive.For "quick" additional info (e.g. which is the healthiest apple and other such specific details, that I am… Read how I did it…
Recent entries
Opened an account with Model Mayhem 2 days ago, and I’ve already been contacted by 8 photographers. Nothing paid, of course, but at least I get to build my portfolio!
And I am complex, sometimes beyond comprehension. Until not long ago, beyond my own understanding.
I am split in two. There is a very dark side inside of me, and a very bright one. They were at war for a long time, and still fighting.
I’m wild, difficult, changing, un-fucking-predictable. I love to share, I love to act. I live too fast and I am the most impatient person I know. I plan and dream most of the time, I live a lot in my own mind. I have great expectations and I am very demanding – of the others, and of myself. I need adventure, intensity to feel alive. I don’t feel that much, yet. I didn’t feel at all for a very long time. I never had peace, I never had a home. I stopped desperately needing them, but do wish to have both at some point in my life.
I fall in love with what a person is, not what they do or who they are. And it is for forever. I can see potential, I love to invest in people. Teach, change for the better. Make a difference. Be different. Creative, artistic. Understanding. Loyal. Honest. Romantic at times, passionate other times.
I hurt myself A LOT. I am all too addictive.
And there are about a thousand things to say here. Things that I cannot put on paper, but things that now I do know about myself.
I am strange, stranger than most people. Sometimes desperate for connection, sometimes for seclusion.
I am split in two, from too many points of view. And now I know that is who I am, as simple is that. A contradiction.
