varsitybabe

47.1

:) happy days, slowly but surely I will get back to where I was and beyond. I’m having breakfast, and having little treats.

Also I am starting to develop a habit of getting into a routine so I don’t skip meals.
I’m calmer and feel I have a little more energy. Hopefully I would like to reach the 50s by christmass, if I can do it before it’d be wonderful.

-a little note here, I am no longer entertaining the thought of the relationship I had with J… I have learnt I need to let go of this one. I can’t start a destructive pattern as I’m trying to put things right, top priority my health.

The real test starts tomorrow with work again. Got to manage that diary tooth and nail!!!!

Feeeeelin good!!!

Xxxxx

It came to my like lightning strikes the ground.

For all its worth I want to thank god for this website. For it was this very website that has just changed my perspective as I read someone elses blog.

HOW FUCKING LUCKY AM I, I CAN EAT ANYTHING I LIKE I AM SO PRIVILEDGED.

My perspective has changed I’m used to think this as a battke I was losing when in fact this is a wonderful journey of self discovery and indulgence in delicious foods.

Also I’m going to take onboard the advice given and look up my calorie intake as I am sure that having such a nmetabolic rate means I should be eating more high energy foods to keep me going.

THANK YOU PEOPLE. DONT EVER FORGET ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Ok so it goes on…

45.9 aka rock bottom. BUT I feel a little bit more enlightened.

I understand why this has happened, I have more compassion towards myself than I have ever had. My weight loss has been a consequence of the things I have gone through in the last year.

a) the domestic violence incident -which didn’t happen to me bt happened to a close family member and depressed me

b) the deterioration of my relationship

c) my break up

d) the fact that I was witness to my expartner moving on and coming home with hickies on his neck and this really hurt

e) my promotion, which although its a tremendous possitive thing, did give me stress because in my poor state of mind I have been lacking the confidence to perform to the expectations of a £50,000 job at 24 years of age.

I made a promise that by keeping myslef anonymous on the site there is no reason to tell any lies, this is my journey.

So now I’m feeling better and I am going to start again.

I am finally out of the house I shared with my ex its been a month and I feel already better.

Hope my next entry is a little heavier!

Xx