I LOVE FOOD! But it hates me because it never unsticks to my body. Seriously, the very thought of food makes me ill sometimes, but I still eat it because I think to myself that it will make me feel better. Nope, not drugs. Not alcohol. But food seems to be my addiction. I eat way too much and don’t even realize it. The problem is I already know all the suggested solutions—the Food Diary, the small 5 meals a day, the exercise. I do all except the Food Diary, and nothing seems to work.
I am 30 (almost 40) pounds overweight. My ex-boyfriend (as of yesterday) has called me “his Chubby girl” as a new nickname that he claims is a good thing. WHAT THE HECK have I gotten myself into with him. Well, that’s another story. But for this story, I have to say and admit right in this moment that I do, in fact, need help.
I need help externally, internally. I need help everywhere and anywhere. To lose this weight would help me be at a healthy weight again and I could actually go to stores and not look for the biggest size they have (size 12-14).
Don’t get me wrong, I love my curves. But it’s my abdominals (or lack thereof), thighs, and behind that need to be toned down. My legs and arms are okay enough. Long story, short of picking at myself today, is that I need to go on a long-term diet that is really a lifestyle change of eating.
I kick myself everytime I pick to go to get snacks at Wawa. I hit my hand everytime I pick up bread to eat at home (as if it’s the only thing that was left on earth everyday). I slap my knees everytime I go out to eat with friends, vowing to get the salad and end up getting the burger. It’s an aweful feeling inside and out.
Therefore, I believe the only thing to do is go to the AA meeting of food addicts which is
- as we all know - Weight Watchers (thank you Jennifer Hudson for being that living proof of its hopeful success—hopefully her weight loss has been that of reality instead of pure marketing manipulitiveness). So, I am going to my first meeting this week and hopefully I will have the guts to at least walk through the door without running out after 5 seconds, claiming to everyone in the room that it was a mistake and that I thought this facility was really Ukrops which is just down the street in flaming yellow lights.
Wish me luck!