i finally started watching lost a couple weeks ago and have managed to finish season 1. it was hard trying to stop once i started! but i managed to stave off watching all of season 1 in a single weekend so that i didn’t turn into a couch potato. now i need to make sure i don’t start season 2 ‘til the weekend comes, or “so long productivity!”
some people are genetically blessed with straighter teeth and/or stronger teeth and gums. i am not blessed with these. of course, it takes some slacking in the flossing and brushing department to bring about gum disease, but those born with the right genes can slack in the dental care department and still not have to suffer from any complications.
anyway, after having to endure a long surgery and not being able to chew anything for weeks, i have definitely become very strict about my dental hygiene regime. i floss every night and just might bump my brushing up to three or four times a day. i will consider this “take better care of my teeth” goal achieved if i’m still as astute about my dental care by the end of the year. good luck to those hoping to achieve the same goal!
at the time that i set this goal, i was unaware of the upcoming release of “ponyo” so i’ve maintained that this goal would only include those major films that miyazaki worked on from 1984 to 2004. rest assured, however, that i’ll definitely be watching “ponyo” and any future films miyazaki might work on. :) now, onto the other studio ghibli works!
this was supposed to be in preparation for fitting into my bridesmaid dress, which, as it turned out, i didn’t have to lose any weight for because it was not altered correctly (if at all) by the manufacturer. (it was a big ordeal.)
anyway, i suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try and achieve this goal still, seeing as those extra two inches on my waist are seriously just flab. i am currently still on a soft food diet thanks to my awesome and fun major dental surgery so i’ve already lost a lot of weight (not necessarily a good thing as i’m not in the least overweight to begin with).
so i finally went to see a dentist. what pushed me was the fact that my medical insurance was about to expire.
i’ve never been terrified of dentists. i’ve just never really had the money to afford dental work.
anyway, got some cavities filled and some other crazy laser surgery for my gums. honestly, it pays to go to dentist regularly. better to not be lazy and/or use lack-of-money excuses and do some regular checkups/cleaning. you won’t suffer in the long run like myself. i mean, i should be good from here on out, but still. dental surgery = no fun. i’m still on my soft food diet. (two weeks.) and i haven’t been allowed to eat spicy foods either. crunch and spice is pretty much what i live for!!!! anyway, that’s my two cents. take what you will. :)
Halloween’s always a good excuse to force yourself to sew.
I have hand-stitched random things when I was younger, and of course, I took the requisite Home Ec sewing class, but I’ve never been very good at sewing. The Helena costume was definitely the most challenging thing I’ve ever had to sew without any assistance. I wish I’d had the time to do it properly. Instead, I rushed to sew it all in one night, so unfortunately, it’s not as nicely sewn as I’d like it to be and certain seams are threatening to rip. Still, I’m going to pat myself on the back for having done it.
As a result of the Helena dress, I’ve been itching to sew other things lately. Alas, I wish could afford the time.
i have been waking up a lot earlier because of school but i’m still sleeping in late on the weekends, so i guess this waking up earlier still needs some ironing out. i want to train myself to be a morning person. sure it feels good to sleep in, but i’m never productive enough when i get up later in the day.
i believe it is in women’s nature to be insecure about things like love and to overthink or worry about certain things we know we shouldn’t even waste our energy on.
try as i might to take things as they come, i cannot help but worry about certain aspects of our future together. it’s not even that i question our happiness. i truly believe that you are the one and i could not have found someone better. (well, really, you found me, so i must give the credit to you.) but i can’t shake from my mind the hardships that i know will come very soon. it will be a real test on the two of us and i have faith, yet a part of me still frets. perhaps i am just prepping myself for all the emotional drama and maybe it’ll be good for me to get it all out of my system while i can. please bear with me.
but on the absolute plus side of things, i am in no way afraid of loving you.
i have cut beef and alcohol out of my diet. i am even limiting the amount of spicy foods i am eating. though i’m sure all this bbq’ing isn’t helping. still, i must say my eczema has been a lot better this past month.
for the most part i’ve taken things as they come. in the past and present. what scares me is not so much the present as the fact that we seem to be moving very fast into a future. it’s not that i don’t want there to be a future between us and i certainly feel like this is something special, but i guess it just comes down to being afraid that things will fall apart and both of us getting very hurt as a result. oh well. we both agreed on no regrets.
thanks to a special someone who’s entered my life, i’d say this goal has been achieved.
i had fooled myself into thinking i was fine.
then the huge breakdown came a few weeks later.
but from that day on, i didn’t think of it in the same light anymore.
indeed, i didn’t think of you in the same way.
i was still sad when you popped into my mind.
it still felt like you were stabbing my heart repeatedly and twisting the blade for good measure every time i saw your blog entries show up on my friend list.
but it felt like i was learning to get over you.
i was a fool to leave you on my list.
if you were as coldhearted as to delete me from your friend list, i should certainly have done the same.
of course, he had to come into my life again.
at this point, i knew i had made the wrong choice initially.
but i don’t regret it.
i hate regretting things.
there is no room in life for regrets.
i went with my heart and handed it to you for you to tear apart.
but i’m mending it.
you are not worth it.
there is nothing in the world that will stop me from living my life anyway.
least of all you.
you with your assholeness.
assholery?
to be honest, i’m afraid that falling for him is merely a rebound.
in fact, i’m terrified of that.
it wouldn’t be fair to him.
and it certainly wouldn’t be fair for me.
but something stirred in me tonight.
i finally decided to rid myself of seeing your blog updates pop up in my subscriptions.
and i couldn’t believe how good it felt.
it was so amazing and liberating.
i couldn’t help but smile.
and i’m still smiling.
i think this is indeed a concrete chapter in me getting over you.
