one minute everythings fine then the next i feel the rage coming on then back to being semi normal. he says he hate me and that i am a fucking asshole, idoit. heard it all before mate. and just show that you the one who need to grow up and stop acting like we owe each other anything.smile for my son sake but deep down the respect and trust is gone.
when to see my doctor today. am going on new medication. can’nt fight everthing a lone and there no shame in saying i need help this is killing me.
he has a new girlfriend. crying for half hour on my bed like a lovesick teenager. b4 it don on me what the fuck do i want with him. time to stop being asshole and sort out my life. “all that glitter is not gold” i think that the qoute. not sure why it came to me.
rather be a mad old spinster than stuck with you for life. freedom.
here to 30 cats and self respect. and here to you and your ego may you both live happly ever after . love you
i did what i did for a reason. and i learn that you choose to do what please you not what please other as they are never gratful anyway
I NEED TO CHANGE. BE LESS ANGERY AT THE WORLD. YES THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. YES THEY HAVE EVERYTHING I EVER DREAM OF BUT FATE A BITCH AT TIMES AND EVERY ONE HAS THERE DAYS IN THE SUN AND DAYS IN THE SHIT. I AM HAVING THE SHIT DAYS BUT WOULD SAY I CAN SEE THE SUN EVEN IF IS JUST FOR SEC IT THERE AND AS LONG AS I BELEIVE IN THERE I CAN BULIT SOMETHING EVEN IF IS A??????. WELL I DO’NT KNOW THAT YET AND SOMEHOW IT NOT INPORTANT. WHAT INPORTANT IS THAT I BUILT. TODAY ,TOMMORROW, NEXT MONTH , NEXT YEAR, 10,20 YEARS. WHO KNOW WHEN I START OR END OR IF EVER START CAUSE LIFE LIKE THAT AND IF IT INPORTANT THEN THE PROCESS IS COMPLETE IN TIME.
one two three (this will not kill me)
four five six (must not shot you to bits)
seven eight nine ( you were mine)
ten ( the end)
i wrote to smaritons today. felt like i need to vent my issues to a person who does not have any intresent in me. eg my decion will make no effect on their life.
had two house line up for me and kids. but both scams. western union tranfers. lost £3000 all togetther. anyone asks you to sent money via western union. tell them to f%^koff. unless you trust them.
at momont i am using humer to defuse my temper tuturn toward mr a. he has hurt me and am unwilling to let him off this time plue i got other issues to deal with and he has to come last and everything that comes with that.
must get theory test revision started and be to ready to book by febuary . so bad at putting it off.
must get theory test revision started and be to ready to book by febuary . so bad at putting it off.
i posteda advert online just laying out what need ibn a new home eg garden ,location. got one reply who wanted to credit check me. no idea what western union was and could not get why i could not hand over the cash at veiwing if liked. but seeing it as not meant to be. and when my tiime come to move on to pasture knew the right house will be there with no fussing about try to work out bllody internet banking. it will be simple and feel right.
so limit self too cola related drink only on friday and saturday for new years resolution. and have just drink a pepis on sunday. oops. must fight mad addication to black devil.
am planning a visit to local resuce centre to see what come in over new year. hoping for a boder collie or lab.
