I'm doing 6 things
An Assumption-free Birthday?
15 months ago
That would be a tough one for me.
So I wish Sitio a very assumption-free birthday, but so that he might all the better enjoy the celebration with love, light and laughter.
virushead's Life List
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1. write more poems
1 entry . 1 cheer146 people -
2. write a novel
1 entry . 3 cheers9,671 people -
3. hold hands on a ferris wheel
1 entry . 3 cheers1 person -
4. bring more positive energy into my life
1 entry . 1 cheer1 person -
5. be a lot more patient and understanding
1 person -
6. rewrite my dissertation
2 cheers1 person
How I did it
It made me 
How I did it: Decided to try - let down defenses. Meta-dialogue to put fears and misgivings and insecurities on hold or bracketed-out enough to see caring as a gift and to accept it as such. Read how I did it…
It made me
Yay yay yay yay
How I did it: Paid online with notifications. The second a statement was ready, I paid it! Saved a lot on interest that way.Paid more than the minimum.Requested interest drops every time I spoke with them (min. every 6 months).Put everything I could on the highest-interest card until it was paid off. The interest savings gave me more money to pay the next one. Read how I did it…
It made me
Grateful to be done. 
How I did it: Banged my head on the wall for a couple of days. Ranted at myself for even offering to write a poem on demand, especially for one so dear. Wasn't completely happy with the result, but was able to get across a couple of important points and I didn't cry when I read it. Small victories. Read how I did it…
See all "How I Did It" stories...
Recent entries
Gut feelings vs intellectualizing
15 months ago
I’m a little thin-skinned sometimes, and a few specific behaviors from some others are still challenging to me.
However, this is no longer a major issue in the way that it has been, so I’m counting it done.
The best approach for me was to do my very best to understand why someone might have been hurtful in that way. When I understand – even if I don’t agree – it’s a lot easier to bracket it out and get some distance.
Also, I’m not nearly as fragile as I was when I was writing the dissertation or looking for a job. Things in my life are fairly stable and good right now; that means more confidence in myself, less vulnerability and self-absorption. When you’re depressed and a bit insecure – as I had been – it takes less to throw you into emotional turmoil anyway.
No job for me
16 months ago
I give up. Even if I could find an academic job after 4 years of looking, it wouldn’t pay enough to support my student loan payment.
