wbmsic

A couple of weeks ago, I had the laundry day from Hell. Let me briefly paint a picture:

• crowded laundromat
• no option to not do laundry (that should have been done three days prior)

So, I’ve been trying to take steps away from that feeling. Because it makes me stressed out. And I started doing laundry today around 3pm, because “it would be nice to wash my towels” (translation: “Just one thing”) Which turned into me doing four loads. Sans the crowd. With patience, tolerance and appreciation. And I had this series of thoughts:

It’s about doing things that don’t make me FEEEEL broke, desperate

Stuff like:

• Having to wait until I have enough quarters / dollars
• Struggling against the crowd, waiting for enough machines
• Waiting until I absolutely have NO clothes
• Pouring rain

Steps I can take against this:

• Stockpiling a backup of change
• Doing laundry on “off hours” (before 6pm weekdays, avoiding
  weekends) Ideally: Early in the AM
• Being okay with doing “just one thing” (or at least telling yourself that you’ll do “just one thing”)
• I’d rather that you do small loads of your favorite clothes than rushing to wash every single thing that you own
• Lay out your tools
• Check the list to make sure that you don’t miss anything

IF I DON’T WANT TO DO SOMETHING… THERE’S A REASON FOR IT

I give you permission to do things that make doing what you have to do easier.

• Even if it costs more money
• Even if it takes time
• Even if it means that you have to do silly things like writing lists, posting signs, sending yourself email reminders, text reminders, posting on Twitter, locking yourself off of your favorite sites
• Even if it means that you pay someone else to do it
• Even if it means that you ask for help

Nothing is more important than that you feel good.
If you’re feeling good and it inspires you to do what you want to, that is worth it.
Because it’s a cycle…

Okay here’s what I’ve dubbed the “Exercise of Abundance” (*name subject to change)

I have a hard time spending money on myself.
On things that aren’t tangible.
On things that I feel are “frills”, shishy, elitist, etc…

It came up in group therapy that I should have a “fun fund”.

I came up with idea of spending an amount of money that made me feel slightly uncomfortable on something that fit the three criteria I listed above.

Purely for me.
Purely for pleasure.
Not essential.
Not tangible.

I decided to go out and get a massage. The best massage that I could find.

Okay, so me describing this way is an evolution of my thought process. Because originally it was because my company insurance was about to change. I went out and got a prescription for massage in March. And on Sept 1, it was going to expire. So I had 400$ of coverage to spend in 1 month. So I went and I spent 140$ on a massage, covered at 80%. Then I did it again.

Then my insurance switched and they capped the reimbursement at 90% of a MAX of 40$. And I still went for the massage.

So, I’d like to up the challenge to something that makes me slightly uncomfortable again.

I’m going to spend 200$ on lingerie.

I write that and my mind reels. 200$ is a lot of money. Lingerie is something that’s frilly and shishy and I can buy underwear that I wear 4 years later for a dollar. If I had a Victoria Secret around here, that would be where I would go, alas I don’t.

Here’s the general plan:

I’m going to go to a specialty store, where I can get measured and etc. I’d like to get a matching set. I’m not giving up comfort. Something black and red would be nice.

I’ll let you guys know how it goes.
Wish me luck!

This is a somewhat difficult shift for me so I wanted to take the time to process and work on some of the stuff / stuckification / issues I have with this.

I’m trying to get it into my head that it’s okay for me to spend money on me. On things that are important to me. On things that I want for the sole purpose of my pleasure.

Dave Ramsey says:

If you live like no one else, later…
You can live like no one else.

And I got really good at that first part of the sentence. I snowflaked and I pinched and I threw every penny into my debt snowball. And then my TFSA. And now that the end is in sight, I’m beginning to step into another Personal Finance Stage. I’m beginning to reconcile my LoA views with the way that I deal with money. I’m beginning to learn what the second version of “you can live like no one else” really means.

And it’s hard.

Because I don’t want what “everybody” wants. And I’m willing to wait and make due so that I can have exactly what I want. I sat in a 5$ falling apart chair for months. I refused to buy a 20$ chair to fill in a place. But let me tell you how much I love, adore and APPRECIATE my 300$ leather, Serta memory foam chair.

I’m sleeping on a single Freecycled bed that makes my room look like a college dorm room. That is awkward and embarrassing when I have “company”. But when I upgrade to a Queen sized bed, it’s not going to be a hand-me-down. It’s going to have the best sheets that I can buy. It’s going to be a really nice bed. It’s not going to sit on the floor. And I’m not going to compromise. I’m living like no one else so that later I can live like no one else. And I’m going to really, honestly and truly appreciate it.