wgatp

Ok, I have consistently started, stoppped. Started, stopped. and so the pattern goes… and the thing was, I never really had to work out for a pretty good figure.. so that as incentive just wasn’t there. Then the other incentive of not merely for aesthetic, would ave to be for internal health and well-being right? Well, it finally stuck, at least thus far- something has just sort of clicked in my head or something.

I have been going to yoga three times a week for the past three weeksish.. and even when I could or when I hada a legitimate reason to miss.. I’ve gone. I do feel better, I enjoy it suprisingly and it just feels like a good intense stretching. So at least thus far my brain/self sabotaging ego has been ok with me just “stretching” three times a week. I don’t overthink it and give myself time to worm out of doing it. I just go. And my mood is elevated! Now granted, I have also done a fast during part of this time, but I do think that part of my general happiness and mood stabilization has to come from the yoga.
Today I started adding in sit-ups and push-ups. The next phase is to add in either weights or cardio training for a 5k in late June. I haven’t decided which- I’m taking it very slow. I don’t want to overkill and just quit. I used to be a big athlete. As many others did, I played so many sports in high school and in college…and then just faded the next few years.
So I’m finally pulling my head out my ass and taking care of myself. Slowly, determined, quietly.. so that my anti-effort/lazy part of ego doesn’t catch on. I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.

Two good mantras that have helped me frequently:

“If you want to go fast, row slowly” (A rowing metaphor)
“Throw your heart over the bar, the body will follow”
or even swap it “throw your body over the bar, the heart will follow” (reference to trapeze work and overcoming reservation/fear)

I think I’ve done it. Now there’s always room for improvement and shifting and repence , but by jove… I think I’ve changed my mind. I’m positive now- and my years of effort are returning ten fold in the output. I’m leaps and bounds from where I was before, yet at the same time—- would not have been able to be here if I didn’t go through the valleys first.

Most appropriate reflection I can make right now?
Thank you god, and I am grateful

I think the life breath will be breathed back in in June….. there’s wayyyyyyyyyyy too much swirling and twirling about lately and leading up to next month.

You know how when its going to rain, you can feel or tell its going to rain before it does? Like a sense… the whole quiet before the storm bit?