wheresmyhappyending

i am so sick of her telling me not to blame other people. that its my fault and my fault only that i am the way that i am. that my enviorment only affects me up to the age of three. that i feel sorry for myself an thats the reason why i am where i am. so all the therapists were wrong in saying it wasn’t just my fault but the fact that we didnt communicate was a factor as well. and i love how she talks to me like shes better than everyone…......

.”as for my relationship with you, there really isn’t any plus i really dont care because i know that you hide in your woes feeling sorry for yourself when your mom and dad gave you a great life no one has perfect lives”........

great life? you dont kno shit bout me! u think just cuz ur a nurse you kno it all. you hide behind your fake-ass nice demeanor. you think u kno it all an that your better then everyone. you make mistakes in life too sweetheart. i never had a relationship with you and i dont care if we ever do. you gave my dad a new life and a new family with you and your son and their kids. i dont think you realize that his relationships with his kids are ruined. i feel sorry for the fact that i don’t kno how to deal with the shit people put on me. i cant just brush off the negative comments. I’M NOT YOU!!!!!!!

SO FUCK OFF!!

it has been 12 years!!!! 12 years and i still slip up…last week i cut….i was in my psych class an got an exam back…got a 62 so i texted my mom to tell her…she said your not trying hard enough why dont u just quit if your not goin to try….wtf i need to get away….i dont even remember wut my arm use to look like b4 all the scars =(

i went almost six months without cutting….fuk my life i had to go an mess it all up….....now i feel lower then dirt my friend know i cut again an she started cryin whic made me feel even worse….i cant do anything right….fuuuuuukkkk