wildly

Well since you didn’t die yet. There is a small little crazy ass you inside still interest in something- the curiosity is what makes us wanting more- it didn’t kill the cat, it gave the cat 9 more lives to live.

And trust me, I’ve tried to die, and it just ends up me living with the consquences of my actions- lots of brain cells killed- now get light-headed, forget things (which should be a good thing- but it only got my short term memory, not the long term memory- the ones you want to forget), wake up with panic attacks- due to brain damage, numbness in my calf and face sometimes. Plus I’m even more mad at myself.

Don’t take it out on yourself. It’s not your fault- it’s those assholes you live with. Get away from that shit, it’s bring you down.

You have gifts, you just don’t know it or you spend way too much time thinking about negative shit and numbing your thought out to even know what the fuck your good at- stop! Stop listening to music, watching tv, surfing the net, playing video games, etc. Find yourself by first going for walks, join a gym, seek friends (even if you suck at it like I do), learn new things, do art, read books that you like, build something, force yourself at the end of the day to think of all the positive shit that happened instead of all the shit that hit the fan.

Fuck them! Find yourself.

I know about the eatting crushed ice, green tea, low sodium, lots of water, peppermint tea in the morning, celery burns more cals (but very hard to digest and just sits in your system- me no like that fat, bloated feeling).

Anyone have good diet to start back on?

Can someone help me through this panic attacks. I have moved back home with parents- mother constantly tell me to “just eat more and you’ll feel better”, “If you ate more you’d have the energy to get a job”, etc. A real SOB. Anyways, I have gained 10 God for sake, ugly pounds and feel as fat as a 600 pound beached whale. I NEED someone in my ear another then my stupid mother. I don’t have a lot of friends- they are all “foodies”- gross. So all I’m stuck with is being at home with my mother and hear voice- and I’m losing my ana touch- I can’t hear myself think anymore because I’m so stressed and not sleeping because I’m worrying about not getting a job and being able to move out.