winkypoo

I’ve gotten better at small-talk by repeating the mantra “Fake it ‘till you make it” and trying to remind myself that the best way to talk to people is to get them to talk about themselves. I try to read the headlines of the newspaper online to make sure I’m not caught off-guard with some new and happening info, and when I do speak up, I allow myself the possibility of being wrong. It helps to care a bit less about what other people think, and to remind myself that there are a lot of things that are pretty cool about me and my experiences, too. But I do still shy away from topics where I don’t feel I’ve got enough info. In those cases, I usually just try to ask more questions in order to keep the conversation rolling.

I don’t feel like a big fake anymore; now, I feel like a shy person who doesn’t know everything but who’s willing to hear more. I drum up my “fake curiosity” and somehow after a few hours I’m through another cocktail reception.

In fact, a couple months ago, I didn’t have the courage to stick around and talk to people, then I turned around and went back, and it started the wheels turning for a great new job opportunity! Totally worth it.

I bought Chris Baty’s “No Plot? No Problem!” last summer, and I read it cover to cover yesterday. I am pumped. I finally found a good reason to get myself an ipod (my first mp3 player, don’t laugh) and I’m going to go out and get myself a funny “leave me alone, I’m going to be a novelist” hat. I found a friend to do it with, too! I am afraid, but psyched, for November to arrive.

Now I just need to figure out a main character and some interesting plot ideas to keep me moving…

I’ve been dreaming of my own house and the canvasses I’d put up and the art I’d buy to decorate, but I didn’t realize that I actually have my own art up on the walls right now… and Right Now actually counts! I don’t need canvasses to show that I’m proud of my work and it’s valid expression of my inner being… the watercolours using kids’ paints that I’ve put up are already art. I just have to keep doing it. huh!