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woooowwzerss.. i haven’t written in forever.. it is now june freakin 6th. so i totally stopped my “diet” the second i went home (i moved away for school but i drive home on the weekends)... i’m serious.. it is IMPOSSIBLE to eat good when i am not at my apt. see.. at my apt. i have no food so it’s easy!! when i’m home.. there’s all this junk food and baked goods and my mom never cooks anymore so all we do is go out to eat. uggghhh. plus i was bloated so i kinda gave up. but i have been in a bad mood lately.. so i kinda lost my appetite. i weigh like 144/145 right now. at least it went down from 147.. cuzzzzzz…. i actually got up to 150 when i was home.. eeks i know. :x well i figured i’m on a mission to lose at least 15 more pounds. i don’t really need to, i actually have a good body.. i’m tall and toned so i look like i weigh around 130. but it’s just for my satisfaction.. i know i could look even better if i lost more weight. wellll.. i want to start writing what i eat again, b/c like i said i am ON A MISSION :D and this helps me..
breakfast-smore luna bar (mmm need i say more)
lunch-nothing
dinner-half blackened chicken salad

anddd that’s it. i’ll prolly make coffee later but who knows. i’m tired. byebye!

i passed the written qualifiers today w/ a 100.. all i have left to pass is the hands-on exam.. which isn’t until june 12-14 anyway. i feel pretty confident about it though.. we had to do a practical quiz today in class which included draping/massaging the leg of our teacher.. and i got the highest grade massage-wise, but.. did the worst draping-wise. hahaha, not that i wanted to expose him or anything, but i guess i pulled the sheet too far over when i tucked it under him that his other foot was exposed. oopsies :X oh well.. i blame it on my nerves :D hehe. anyone out there who did their qualifiers already??

grr.. i am on this new medicine and it keeps me up allll night. i tried to go to bed last night around 12:30 (i had to wake up at 6 for school).. but instead i just layed there and what do you know.. all i could think of was food!.. hahah. my body was literally shaking yesterday.. probably b/c i ate like SHIT last week.. and i actually started eating good yesterday. but anyway.. i finally got out of bed around 1 and went on the computer b/c that usually helps drain some energy from me, but then i got bored and started looking for food b/c i was hungry.. and just as a i was about to bust open a bag of salt and vingegar chips (mmm.. 1 of my ultimate weaknesses).. i decided to opt for another apple :/ apples have negative calories tho right?? so i felt better and then went to bed. bla. soo here i am today. and here is what i ate:
breakfast- nothing (tsk tsk i know.. but i was running late for school)...
lunch-went to tim hortons w/ a girl @ school for our lunch break.. but i just got a plain bagel w/ light cream cheese. and opted to drink my disgusting aquafina water instead of getting my #1 love- coffee (w/ c+s) :(, and a small spinach salad w/ balsamic dressing (the new spritzer kind=1 cal/spray.. loves it!)
..and i haven’t had dinner yet, obviously.. but i have to work from 4-8ish.. so i’ll probably just have toast when i get home w/ some jelly. we’ll see tho.. i’ll edit this later :)

hmm.. figured this would be a good way to track my progress & possibly help me do better in school! right now i go to a massage therapy school in ny, part-time (4.5 hrs/2-3 days a week). i LOVE it. i love learning about the body and the fact that massage alone can benefit the body in so many ways (aside from the obvious.. relax it). i started at the end of january taking a&p. phew.. so glad that is over, it’s a tough course & requires lots of studying! but it was also pretty interesting b/c i like learning about that kinda stuff. think i passed that class w/ an 88. bla. right now i am taking intro to massage. basically the first half is lecture, and the second is massage. we just finished learning the routine (all the strokes) for giving a swedish massage. had clinic orientation last class and found out when qualifiers start.. early june. after i pass qualifiers (wish me luck, hehe).. we start working on the public in the clinic. which i’m kinda nervous about, but excited at the same time!! any other lmt’s or students out there w/ any stories/tips?? i’d love to hear from you!

ugh.. so sick of my weight “yo-yo-ing”!! i wouldn’t really consider myself FAT.. but it probably wouldn’t hurt to lose some weight either. :P i’m 5’7 and currently weigh 147. and that is 20lbs more than what i weighed last year.. 127 (my lowest was 123.. but i looked kinda gross). so i would definitely love to lose at least 20lbs! i tend to go on these weird out of the blue “diet days”.. for example, 2 weeks ago i started and got my weight down to 144.. in just a week. then last week i went home and ate really bad.. so now i’m back to 147 (my weight usually never exceeds that.. although one time i got up to like 152 after a cruise.. TSK TSK!!)..

i need to stop eating good.. then eating bad.. then good..then bad.. i want to stick w/ eating GOOD!

so i guess these entries are for my own personal motivation.. something to look at and see how i’m doing day after day. i’m starting a food diary to track down what i eat & drink ..then writing down my weight at the beginning of the next entry to show how i did the day before.

bla.. i hate diets. hehehe.

STARTING WEIGHT: 147
breakfast- 1 luna bar (the smore kind.. yum!!.. i am seriously addicted), bowl of applesauce
lunch-spinach salad w/ balsamic dressing & croutons, 1 apple, 2 cups of black coffee
dinner-1 serving of meatless ribs