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Ecstasy was really enjoyable for about two hours. It kicked in fast for me and my entire body began to tingle. Everytime someone touched me, it was the most amazing feeling ive ever experienced. However, the come down was the worst experience of my life. I started crying, grinding my teeth, felt dehydrated, and spent the whole night sleepless and forcing myself to throw up to get the drug out of my system. Trying ecstasy made me never want to try any other drug in my life.

New Years to me is the most romantic of holidays. Valentines Day doesnt even compare.

I’m going to my first job interview ever on Tuesday for Jamba Juice. I hope I get it! Iv’e always wanted to work there.

The first time I changed it out, I went to a professional. They had a difficult time, getting the new stud in. It was twenty minutes of pain and bleeding. It was worse than getting my nose pierced for the first time. I’m really afraid to change it out again, but I don’t want to wear a blue stud forever. I’m going to wait extra long this time.

Base coated two of the walls today. Still unsure of what I want to do color-wise though.

My first therapy session is a week from today. I’m kind of nervous. I don’t really know what to expect.

The 17th of May is going to be another opportunity to throw a party because my parents are going out of town. Hopefully it will actually happen this time.

I thought I was going to have to ask my mom for a therapist, but she randomly asked me if I wanted one a few days ago. Such a weight off of my shoulders but it makes me concerned that my parents are worried about me also…

Just turned in some applications. I’m going to put extra effort into getting a job at the coffee places I applied to. Iv’e always wanted to be a barista.

ive found that the best way to get over someone is to find someone new, which i have done. i just hope that this one goes better than the last…

last night i hit an ultimate low. i was so depressed and tried to prepare myself to ask my mom to get me a therapist. the timing was perfect but i just couldn’t. i dont understand why this is so hard.

this is so vital to my emotional state. ive been through endless shit with him. im sick of him hurting me over and over. im sick of caring about what he says to me. im officially just done. im going to move on because nothing good will ever come out of this again.

I’m about halfway done with this. Ive found some pretty surprising things, including a rotten pumpkin..

I figure that telling him that I’m okay with him liking another girl(specifically one of my friends)is definatly a step forward to getting over him completly. The key is not to get jealous.

I was going to take this in school but I chose creative writing instead. I think I will take a course over the summer or something.

Another dermatologist appointment today. Hopefully I will be given medication/face cream that actually works this time. It seems like it would be a lot easier to get rid of my mild acne..

Iv’e decided to go to NAU for a couple years until I can get the money to move out of state to California.

Today I am asking my mom to make an appointment with a therapist for me. I hope she takes it okay and doesn’t ask me why because I don’t want to worry her at all, especially because of her tendency to overthink everything.

I tried to do it last night with some friends but it was really weak so none of us felt it=/

I get back and neck pain that doctors just tell me to take pain reliever for but I am trying to cut back on medications and such for fear of liver and stomach damage. I have heard good things about acupuncture and that it can work miracles.