xxluciexx

I am so over him now, it took a long time, but last week i went and faced the woman that he left me for and made my peace, and since then i’ve felt so good and never looked back!!
It proved that i am stronger than i ever gave myself credit for, and that i am now over it all, and finally free.

Before i start, i’ve poured my heart out, and i now know that getting revenge is only ever going to stir up my emotions, and it will only be a short term fix to the hate i have inside of me. So now i’m going on a different approach, the letter i will never send, in the hope that this will be the way to get my thoughts out and close the door, here goes…

When i met you i loved you, and those first few years of our relationship were so good, we did everything together, you made me feel so special, and when the children came along we were a proper family, i thought that we were going to grow old together.
Then on that christmas day last year, your mum, my best friend, passed away and with her, she took my life.
After she died you fell apart, i could feel your pain but you wouldn’t let me in, you turned to drink and decided to move out, leaving me and our children all alone.
You always said you loved me and that you were coming home, but you never did, did you?
I started hearing the rumours, but i didn’t want to believe them, and when i confronted you, you were so convincing, all you had to do was hold me and tell me you loved me and i believed that everything would be okay.
It was a long time before i found out the truth, that you had been cheating on me, and right there my whole world came crashing down, i don’t think i ever felt pain like it in my whole life, but even then you told me she was a mistake and that it was me you wanted to be with, and like a fool i took you back because i loved you and i couldn’t stand the pain.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve left me then come back, and it was only because i loved you, i was such a fool.
As i write this, you are with her, you don’t see our children anymore, you don’t realise how they feel, our son thinks he hasn’t got a dad now.
You are so very selfish, and i hope that you feel guilty for what you did to me and our children each day that you live, they will grow up, and they will remember.
You may have broken my heart, and you nearly broke my spirit, but among the ashes my fire within still smouldered, and day by day the fire begins to burn, i am a born survivor, and one day i will be the old me again, how i was before i met you.
I will find the true love of my life, you have lost something very special in us, and i think that you will realise that one day.
Maybe you realise it now, but baby it’s already to late.
Adios amigo, i hope she’s worth it.

I think if we are honest, most of us girls have dreamt of walking down the aisle in that gorgeous white dress to a handsome man since we were little and using mums net curtains as a veil!
I’m still slowly but surely getting over having my heart broken, but even while me and my ex were together i never gave up on having that wedding, even though i knew we would probably never do it. And one good thing to come out of him leaving me, is that i’m free to go out there and find the man that’s right for me, and the man that will give me the wedding i always dreamt of.
It might take months or even years to find that special guy, but he’s out there somewhere, i will never give up on myself ever again.