xxxdaywalkerxxx

for the last couple of months i’ve been so busy that i didn’t really have the time to do any of the things i like doing for fun. e.g. i haven’t written or painted or read anything that wasn’t school related in what seems like forever and a day.
not working regular hours is a very tricky thing because there is always something that could do with another hour of work or preparation.

usually i’m a person who lives very much in the presence. the past is the past and that’s where it belongs. however, if given the chance i’d very much love to undo a decision i made roughly 12 years ago.
i’m not fooling myself into believing that if i had decided differently at that time things would be better, yet i’d still very much like to know how making a different choice would have affected the course of my life.

maybe i want to: “allow myself to be loved” would have been the better phrasing cuz its not as though i’m this poor unloved thing waiting for her prince to show up. its more like i need to stop keeping people at arm’s lenghts – damn, but i’m comfy like that…