For a long time I felt as though there were “things” in my life that were holding me back from being able to live the fullest life possible for me.
When I first added this goal I merely had a vague idea of what I needed to do to “set myself free.” I have been slowly making changes that I believe will set myself free from those “things” that constrain me.
One action that I have taken is to forgive. There are some people who I knew I needed to forgive. For a long time I felt that this was something I had to do, but I didn’t. The reason for this hesitation was not a desire on my part to hold a grudge, but rather, I needed to let the hurt and anger run its course. This was a hard thing to do-I thought I should go ahead and forgive, I know other people in my life thought I should go ahead and forgive. But I think I just needed to feel those feelings and learn from them.
A couple months ago I stumbled upon this book about forgiveness at the library. I read a couple chapters and found a forgiveness affirmation. The book suggested that you didn’t necessarily have to seek out the people you wanted/needed to forgive-in some instances it may not be helpful to do.
I made a list of people who I felt I needed to forgive-family members, neighbors, people I used to work with, people I went to school with. I also made a list of people who I wanted to ask forgiveness from.
I said an affirmation for each person saying I sincerely forgave them (or asking for forgiveness). Most of these people I found it easy to forgive-in a way, I already had. About five or six I found really hard to do-but I found it in my heart to sincerely forgive.
Since doing this, I feel better about things in generally-not that I was miserable or anything beforehand-but as the book said, if you don’t forgive, these negative bonds of energy remain between you and the other person. I have broken these bonds. When something causes me to think of, say a former boss who was just horrible-in the past this would trigger bad memories and I couldn’t help but dwell on that for a few seconds or more. Now if something cause me to think of that horrible boss, my memory of the person just passes through my mind and it doesn’t stop on a bad moment. I am free.
So this was a major breakthrough for me.
I still have more to do to set myself free. Two things I want to do seem rather shallow after my forgiveness breakthrough, but here they are:
1. I am going to add a goal about losing weight. I want to be my best possible self and this is one thing I need to do.
2. Resurrect the “create an outer style that is a true reflection of me” goal. (So annoyed that when you want to do a goal again it doesn’t appear on my current list of goals.) It’s time for an updating of the wardrobe and also, I think I am going to include my home this time around.