ylime93

i’m afraid it’s not in my reach. the next time i have junk, i’ll simply donate it to charity.

im doing, right now, 2 types of art classes, yoga, dancing, and right now a job at a nursery ( helping with storage of ferns and watering and moving plants). sounds boring eh? k, well, when you add everything up, its plenty tyring for someone of my small stature. including family and friend stress and projects.

for summer, to add on, i’ll have horseback riding, tennis lessons, soccer, and 2 jobs at least. i’ll have to visit my dad once in a while as well. if you put it all together, well, its frustrating. if i had to take 2 things away, it’d be soccer and dancing but its difficult if im already signed up and it cost so much. i think im just a bit too young to be worrying about 2 jobs and at least 6 things to do.

yay.

wow- its an amazing feeling. i still feel though, that theres more to it than what im doing. its odd. when i meditate, its theraputic, and, this sounds insane, but i sort of feel a light shining in from the left..:S

after the excercises in my first yoga class, the techniques of calming down are so very awsome- i’ll remember them and do them when i have a chance.

so yep, im still learning

i dont know if i can do this, honestly. over my school years, i have such low self asteem, and im painfully quiet, theres just no way. i have learned from past experiences, to hold on, and i had to go through a rough time. i should try to look at the positives,as in my better than before grades, my poems which ive had compliments on, my friends, march break coming up, a sort of good family.. but we all know that when your stuck in a mood, its very hard to get out (i mean sadness and anger, by the way). and, my twin, hes just…i cant beleive how he is..and, o never mind..(why am i typing this where people can see it…?). yeah well, ill try to keep it balanced, and i’ll find some support.

so, yay, i have more songs than before on my scratched up ipod, which is partially ok…i think i have about…48 or so? yeah, that number sucks ass..but, im gunna try to remember to just wright the music down on a paper so i wont forget.yep, its pretty simple.pretty.. simple. oh and i want to change my little picture there..on this website, cuz ya know..its so very lame. ok bye

ok, well, few good things…

got a 93 in english, and mostly 70’s in everything else
i must do better in science, study-wise, and history.i have to get to my studying right away

working on it, definetly. after a truck load or stress coming my way, what i do is close my eyes for about 20 minutes, listen to my surroundings, think of my cozy cabin that i go to, think of the good things to come, think of the positives. then, i breath in for as long as i can, then slowly breath out as if my problems have just came out of my system. when its a major thing for me tho, theres no chance in the world that i would even allow myself to medite. very strange. i also try rum-filled kahlua chocolates. the warm feeling in your stomach is soo very relaxing, and, its chocolate. food can always help. also, heated up lemon juice, red pepper jelly on crackers, heated up cranberry juice, cereal, ice cream, cookies or cookie doe are like the most reelaxing foods ive ever had. helps alot. oh, and cinamon, lemon, and orange sent. could be homemade, or store bought (like mine). just thinking about this stuff is relaxing.cool.

yes, i have just, possibly, become the nice friend that i would envy myself to be. i kiiinda stuck up for a friend when she was getting made fun of. now these people hate me, but, it would take such confidence, i guess, to say whats what..or something. i have had consideration when one of my friends was too sick to go to my dance presentation, and it really wasnt a big deal; everyone gets sick and she needs time to rest.. when one is down, i help cheer them up, which must be a good thing, and i race with them, and let them borrow many things from me. yeah, there are better friends than me,, much better, but from my standards, from not having any good friends (..bitches)..now i have actual o.k friends that i could actually be funny around without a bitch or two pressuring me or saying how stupid i am. im glad that this has happend. just at the right time too. it boosts confidence, gives u strength, and fun. the fact that im telling strangers this is news to me, but, might as well, ive already put too many other goals down. but yep. much better than before.

its been quite a while since ive actually drank one glass a week. im just settling with milk now, theres an actual taste, and im just eating lots of fruit. its a bit of a start, but im procrastinating with this particular goal. i must come up with a brilliant plan for a short cut to this. i want to drink more water, but not having it be such a stupid nuisance. oivey.

oivey i know i know..i ill just complete this in the summer, because i have a lot more time on my hands, and im more relaxed to do so. technically, im not actually giving up for good. this is the only way that i know how to get rid of this

i’ll complete this in the summer..even tho ive had so many cool dreams lately, and also the same ones over and over again.

well, a ninety three in geo is a start..(no shit)..(there goes my goal for not swearing..) and an 82 in english..but, a 61 in science! bullshit! sorry, im so bad at these goals…but anyways, its always a half and half thing…the best faces the worst stuff. but, this next term has to be better. noo matter what.

lets face it, its logically impossible for someone like me, whom has been a curser for far too long that it would be a miracle to quit for good. every once in a while, theres a bumping into a metal corner or getting a bad grade so.. what else to say but f-ing shit cakes?its a shame ruining a good path of proper english language, but everyone does it, impossible to ignore, so, i will continue to swear occasionally. i honestly can’t help it, so, its only fair that i try to just swear less. yay, settled!

its so great that im seeing him as much as i possibly can, even when its not his week.

i am not so quiet anymore when they back sass me..no, those bitches have to get what they deserve. i did learn karate.. but that was what..2 years ago? i dont want to hurt them, but the karate istelf gives you more confidence..but again, that was two years ago. i really have to smarten up and not be so quiet, and too many times ive let bitches tell me whats what, and a bitch doesnt know what the hell shes talking about! it makes me remember how many times ive had such bad friends and that i should have just ditched the bitches. im saying bitchestoo much but anyways, my goal now, please, be not so quiet, and that would lead me to my primary goal for the day, well, its in the title thing.

2 glasses a week- what progress!

yup..worth doing.

hurray, were making jokes together now. the only problem now is the t.v stuff which is such bullshit to argue about, and the puching the other to be the first at the house from school. but yeah, hes pretty nice when he wants to be.

yes, i am now spending both every second week with him, and each wednesday. we dont do much anymore since its really crappy outside, but we can still play tennis indoors until the place closes down. he helped me with a really hard project and was very intelligent about everything which is so great, when hes not too cocky. im so glad that im spending more time with him.