yourdarkes

I’m not sure whether to give up on this, or keep trying. I’ve been dying to achieve it for so long, but I recently realized I probably don’t deserve do be forgiven for the way I have acted. I guess some things are too big to forgive. Some things you have to live with. Forgivness is definitely too much to ask for in this case.

But I guess that is OK. I just wish he could see how hard I’ve honesly tried to change, still I’ve failed. And there is no longer anything I can do, that could help us.. out of this..

hey grls.
i’m really trying to drink more water thtough the days.
but i find it really hard. since i’ve been bulimic, i get the urge to throw up if i drink to much. it’s kind of sick but i do. i always used the water to kick on my gagreflex..

anyway. doing fine. I’m down 1 pounds since yesterday.
cw: 85 pounds. ( 5’7 )

I need to woooork out more. I’m too lazy..

xoxo.

bah, i ended up gaining 3 pounds sice my last post. 3 days ago.
cw: 86 pounds.

my mother practically forced me to eat. i don’t get her. it’s not like she forcing me to eat will solve all my eating disorder problems. it will only make it worse.
i hate her.
and i hate myself for the fact that i let her win. i ate for her. it makes me feel sick. i’m gross. fat.

anyway. it’s weekend. i was supposed to go to a friends party, but i don’t feel like it any longer. it would only end up with me getting too drunk anyway. it’s always like that. i hate it..

i kind of hate everything atm. bbaah. gonna do some work out.

i hope you chicks are all fine. you seem to be doing great.

xoxo