why have i never done this before? I was so made to dance. I did ballet when I was little like most young girls and I was talented… why didn’t i stick with it!? I want to hip hop dance and tap dance and swing dance… i just wanna dance!!!
i keep dreaming of a club that’s really close to my house (not my real house but my dream house) but it’s on a hill and the hill is so steep that the club is completely vertical lol. I lucid dream all the time or more like lucid nightmare because I always always have dreams where I’m being chased and just when I’m about to be caught I get away.
if you are yourself, have fun, do random stuff just to make you happy, people will want to be around such a fun, happy person. Also, if you have fun ideas… that’s important because people love doing fun stuff and don’t like to think of it themselves.
my friends have treated me like shit for years… and I don’t want to take it any more. I lost two of them a few months ago… which is sad because I don’t have any one to hang out with any more but not sad because they weren’t real friends in the first place. My now best friend has been treating me like shit for a while… and I don’t want to take it. The rest of the people at school, they’re okay, but I think most of them are just social climbers. They’re kind of pathetic. I want to find people I want to hang out with and be friends with legitimately and then befriend them. It just sucks on long weekends like this when I have nothing to do. But I’m not about to call up my “friends” and beg them to hang out. I deserve better.
i feel like i always want to do something, like wear moccasins or leg warmers or like.. i dunno.. go to barnes and noble and chill there or anything, like i have good ideas but i don’t do them and then some one else does it and i’m like… i thought of that. but i dont get any credit for thinking about it. i guess i need to do more.. be more daring.. and take risks and stuff. its also about money though… like if i want to wear moccasins but i cant find a pair i like that are reasonably priced. but whatever. its just starting one trend so next time i have a cool idea, i’ll just go for it.
yesterday i realized i watched tv literally from sunrise to sunset. NOT OKAY. I also realized that, though i got some things done while watching tv, it just completely inhibits my ability to become a really great person. It eats my time, time in which I could be doing worthwhile things and doing things that are really kickass, instead of watching shit you’ve seen 1000 times anyways. and plus it turns you into a zombie. I also realized I use it as a crutch, a crutch that also kicks me in the knees sometimes so I will continue to need it. so to ween myself off, tv ONLY when I’m eating or sleeping.
and i didn’t do well… not sure what i could’ve done to make them better besides study more but that’s a problem since i’m debilitatingly lazy. lol that’s not a word. studying is impossible. actually i should’ve studied more for gov because the chapters i studied i did well on that part.
Thurs- calc*, health (?)
Fri- lit (?), choir
Mon- gov, spanish
Tues- study hall, design
study now and during the week for calc (review old shit, do old problems, shouldnt be too hard); no idea what or how to study for health (ask ms k); can’t study for lit, just ask for help with writing, preferably before the exam; NOT studying for choir, f that.; gov is the major study one (chapters 2-12) i’ve started studying 2 and 3, so i need to do like 2 chapters a day then review them and study more on the weekend; spanish i need to study for badly (and for the test tomorrow) on verb tenses and i dont know what else, need to ask; i can study for design during study hall since thatll be very easy.
I want to get A’s!!
this doesn’t really have to do with this goal but I had to write it down. Any girl has sexiness and feminine wiles but if that’s ALL you’ve got then that’s all you’ll GET. Nothing interesting or emotionally fulfilling. And for a smart girl, that is NOT enough. I have this goal because you shouldn’t have the GOAL to fall in love… it needs to just happen.
I said something in class yesterday and it was really pretty good. I said something about how in the book we’re reading in English the men have to pay dowries to the woman’s family. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t like some people in class who take like 3 minutes to say a sentence. I should talk more in class. Also… I wasn’t really translating.. I was just talking.. in spanish. So I think thats getting more fluent. I can also listen and not translate and basically understand what’s going on. So cool yo.
I’ve been feeling good. The past week I’ve felt good…I don’t wanna go into much detail but just like just being more aware of myself and articulating myself. We’ll see how it goes. Also, we’ll see how well I do starting my goals. I haven’t really started my new years resolutions yet and I’m stressed about it.
I am so talented at drawing but I never have time to do any. I feel like an ass calling myself an “artist” when I rarely draw or paint in my free time, just for fun. So for 2008 I want to draw every day. It doesn’t have to be big… just something every day. Maybe I’ll make a sketchbook so that I’ll have at least one page for each day and at the end of the year I can look back on it. My dad’s friend does photography and he has done a photo-a-day thing a bunch of times (for a full year) and it’s really awesome.
...I jogged the entire park without walking or stopping. It was so hard!! But I went slow and I got through it and I feel very accomplished.
