zer0perfection

The worst part about this is that I don’t have some dramatic story. Though I’ve been through a lot, it’s come gradually, and I know I need to let go… but I don’t know what it is and I don’t know how.
I’m a very passionate person. When I love, I love. When I hate, I may filter my expression, but still hate. Love and hate are so close that it hurts. I can’t differentiate and I get so confused.
It bothers me when people aren’t passionate. To be honest, I think this is what bothers me the most. I don’t know if I’m blind or if there really is nobody like me, but I never relate. I’m a social person, I can feel it. But is this how it’s going to be? Like, today at lunch: Ten of the girls who (sadly), I consider to be my closest friends were arguing about if so-and-so is mean. One girl was adamant that she was the rudest girl alive, while the other thought she was really cool. After about 5 minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sick of all this shallowness- and though it sounds cliche, I know nobody that shares this passion enough to stop it! I said “It doesn’t really matter. Everyone has their own opinions, and nobody can grow as an individual if we all sit here and argue in order to come to a generic conclusion. We’re all different and are going to have different opinions of people. It’s not worth arguing over. If you’re that interested, get to know the girl better. Maybe you’ll change your mind on your own.”
All ten girls rolled their eyes. My “best friend” actually told me to shut up.
This is what I go through everyday… it’s my past, but it’s also my present. I really get the feeling that if I could, in fact, find people who I could relate to- I could let go right away. But that’s just not the case. I’m just terrified that everywhere I go, people are going to be the same.
Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of faults. I suffer from depression, and have a tendency to think that I know everyone’s motives. I’m often proven wrong, but I only learn these things through myself… since no one seems to be willing to readily fight the injustice with me.

Wow. That felt a lot better than I thought it would.

I believe everyday is a miracle. We are all so very blessed in our own special ways, and in ways that some will never understand. The important part is coming to terms with what you are grateful for, and making the most out of it. Of course I’ve witnessed miracles- they surround me, but there is always imporovement. Not of the miracles; for they are perfect, but of how I apply them to my life.

It’s just such a passionate piece!