sigh That’s the age old question, isn’t it? I’ll tell you, I didn’t FIND my husband… he found me. I had stopped looking, to be honest. My last relationship ended VERY badly, and I was convinced I would never find someone….

The ironic thing was, so was he. We met, started hanging out as friends, and he was persistent. That would be the only advice I would offer to ANYONE… Be persistent. If you meet someone, don’t take “no” for an answer. Everyone deserves at least one shot—fight for yours. I thought Jerry was out of my league, that he just wanted to be a “buddy”... He didn’t give up until he had convinced me he wanted to marry me.

look…the love come by itsself..u may love some one from the 1st sight,,.and may u love him after agreat fight,,..
but.. i can say that no one know who will love.. and no one can love who what u wanna ,,..every thing is control by our god…he know all things..so.. dont search about ur love,..he or she will come and u wont know if its ur final love or its the begining…
i hope u get what i wanna say..
but..belive me .. its the 3rd time to me..

When I was single, my parents always told me that you find love when you are not looking for it. This may not be true for everyone, but that’s how it happened for me. The man that I am now married to knew me for about a year when he asked me out for the first time. At the time, love was the furthest thing from my mind. I was busy looking for a safer place to live. (I had been staying with an older woman who had a handyman that was strange. After the man pissed me off one too many times, I knew that I needed to move.)

At 36 I thought that I would never find the one and that I would just be a crazy cat lady. All the people I chose were not suitable, you could say that my “picker” was broken. I had given up on “looking” Then, by chance, I met my husband.

At first glance he was not who I would have given a second look to on the street. But I liked his confidence, honesty, openmindness and humour. The more time I spent with him the more I saw his good nature, self assurance, kindness, sweetness and joyful personality. He was persistant, consistant and loving. We have been married for 1.5 years and I cannot imagine my life without this handsome, stubborn, bossy, ingenious, direct, playful rascal.

I think the key is to be open to love. Sometimes we have an idea of what the person would have or be like in our minds. That is equal to treating a person like an object rather than the living being they are. If you only want to marry someone beautiful or rich or educated or dashing or whatever, you will not be open to the person you are meant to be with. As I mentioned, at first glance my husband was not those things, it is by knowing him that he has become my Prince Charming.

Good luck, being open to love is not an easy thing, you may have to practice a bit before it happens!

Best wishes ~ ABG

If you forget about love and just nurture your friendships, you will be much happier. And one day, it will just happen.

At the risk of sounding too practical, if you are living in a western culture, I would recommend reading Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray. While he is hardly the most profound thinker in western philosophy, he does make some good points.

I would suggest reading the book and then give the book to anyone you are serious about to read so at least you two will have a common framework for looking at your relationship moving forward.

I think you just stumble into it when you’re ready. When you know who you are, when you’re strong enough to stand alone – then you’re ready to meet someone to compliment that. I don’t believe in the line “my better half” or being “incomplete without them.” You shouldn’t NEED them in your life – they just make everything a little better.

Once you find them though – you discover they’re everything you didn’t know you were looking for. It’s never what you think you’re type is.

Two answers on this one; I think you find “the one” by keeping a sharp and open-minded eye on everyone you meet. Don’t let a single person pass you by without giving them a serious thought. So all those preconceived ideas of who “the one” is or what s/he looks like or even what gender has got to go! Open mind, keen eye for what you really need.

Other answer mirrors the stuff you heard before; love finds you sometimes and it only works out ever if you and the other are both completely developped and happy in and of yourselves separately, first!

I do believe in love at first sight! I didn’t think of my husband as date material when we first met, it took him over a yr. to ask me out! He says it was love at first sight for all that time and then for all the time I put him off (but who was I fooling anyway- no one! everyone knew I was in love) We live happily ever after!

Date

There’s always great services like eHarmony.com, but I also recommend growing your circle of friends/contacts. From a purely practical standpoint, if you’re interested in finding a mate and having trouble with it, it’s probably a good idea to expand the amount of groups you’re involved in.

What I mean is, the more mixed-gender circles in which you have a presence, the more you’re opening yourself up to opportunities. I highly recommend that you don’t join a group solely to look for a mate, lest you exude that distinct smell of “desperation” (which turns off all possible mates). Look at it as just a way to expand your horizons in general, a way to grow and feed your interests. A person who’s committed to growing and learning and actively following their passions is highly attractive.

Of course, for your purposes it’s not going to be very beneficial to join something like a twelve-step-group (nothing against them, they’re awesome), so here’s some recommendations on helpful groups to join: a church group, a community theater group, a community sports team, a non-profit volunteer organization, a hiking/biking/running/swimming group, a book club, group music/dance/language/cooking lessons.

Don’t look for him. You will very rarely find what you really seek. You’ll find him a lot sooner if you sit back, relax, and let him come to you. When I first met my husband, I hated everything about him. His ugly hair style, his HUGE glasses, his clothes, his crappy country music, and he was poor (first poor guy I’d ever gone out with). Yet, I ended up with him and I’m very happy. Go figure.

You don’t have to date, dating can be seen as “practice for divorce”, because it is so easy to break up again. You want to get married, and stay married for a lifetime – it gets better all the time if you let it.

In the same way you also need to let go and let God intervene in your life. Marriage was designed by God and he gave Adam a partner when He saw that he was alone. God will give you a partner for life, and he will do so because he has a prefect plan for you which includes your partner.

To help you find your purpose in life, give your life to Him. Then its easy to let go and trust God for the perfect match for you – He knows you intimately, because he made you!

I pray that our God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, bless you with your hearts greatest desires… and so much joy, you did not think it was possible!!

My husband and I met and became friends. Neither of us had any other expectations. We were very close friends for two years and then realized we were in love with each other. I don’t think it could have happened any better. Because we were friends, we felt 100% comfortable with each other. There were no worries about impressing each other or trying to be who we thought the other person wanted us to be. We were just ourselves. Once we realized that we were in love we got married two months later and I couldn’t be happier. During our friendship I too was searching for the love of my life. Funny that I was searching in all the wrong places, my love was right in front of me. Love isn’t something you can rush or search for. It all happens in God’s time, however painfully slow you may think it is, his time is perfect.

Fresh2 has it right.

Finding the one you love, as you put it, can only occur if you make Jesus Christ your first love. He has a very special, rich, wonderful, love filled life in store for you (I am speaking in terms of relationships—not material wealth) if you put Him before everyone else. The Bible says to seek Him first, then all these other blessings will be given you.

Best wishes!

You might not find “the right one”, but you can accept the one that you find as “the right one”. Prayer can help that happen. Good luck.