A question about this goal: I really want to skydive, but my spouse thinks I could die and is all worried. How can I get them to relex about it. December 8th, 2006 00:37
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You and your spouse should research skydiving accidents. The chance of you dying is so remote there isn’t even a ratio of deaths for tandem students. I can tell you that you should research the dropzone you want to jump at. They should be a USPA dropzone, you can check out USPA at USPA.org. There have been 2 deaths out of many hundreds of thousands from students falling out of the tandem harness. Be sure the dropzone uses Sigma Tandem Systems. There is another system, called Strong. Strong is the only harness a tandem student has ever fallen out of. In all honesty, you could die. There is a better chance, however, that you will get in a fatal car accident. Your husband isn’t going to make you stop driving your car is he?
I know I’m posting a bit late but the stats are that 55 people died skydiving last year, the odds of being killed skydiving are 1 in 70,000.
A bit of a comparison may help, in the United States alone there was 39,189 car accident fatalities in 2005.
So that may put it into perspective a bit. Also your spouse should know that when you skydive for the first time you have to jump with a professional sky diver attached to you. given that 92% of skydiving accidents were the result of human error, having a professional strapped to you should eliminate most of the risk.
Why don’t you just make your significant other come with you?
cianuro has provided an excellent answer. But if you’re not comfortable with that or you know you’re going to want to share the experience with them afterwards, then explain that you will be doing a tandem jump attached to a very experienced jumpmaster. True, some are better than others as are dropzones but lets put that aside for the moment. Most jumpmasters have 1000’s of jumps under their belt and many 100’s if not 1000’s of tandem jumps. In the US, they are almost without exception specially trained for this equipment and type of jump. Furthermore, modern skydiving is incredibly safe. Over 3 million people in the US skydive each year and over 300,000 are folks making their first tandem skydive, injuries and fatalities are really rare especially on tandem jumps. Even more advanced skydivers have an incredible safety record. In fact, most problems are related to technical menuevers involving high speed turns very close to the ground or skydiving with larger groups of people; neither of which will you be doing.
Remember, it is not a reckless sport and it is your life, your choice. You never know, they may go with you, might watch a video of it, may listen to you recounting the experience, and just might ask to make a jump!
I personally never made it past relative beginner but after about 100 jumps I can still remember the first one as one of the single most enjoyable experiences of my life. You should see my sisters tandem jump photos, grinning ear to ear. I hope you decide to put your knees in the breeze, have fun!
USPA: http://www.uspa.org/about/index.htm
Other:
http://www.skydiving-parachuting-guide.com/
http://www.skydiving-parachuting-guide.com/tandem.html
it would sound a bit cliche but you could tell him/her that there is a higher liklihood of anyone dying in an automobile accident than any other hazard in the world.
really though, you have a greater chance of dying driving to the skydive place, than actually skydiving.
Make sure that you know a lot about the place. When I went, we went with someone who had already been to the place so I felt pretty comfortable.
I went with my SO and he was afraid for weeks before the jump, i was excited though. But after he jumped, he said it was the best thing ever and was certainly glad he did.
Besides, if nothing else, how many of us here have sky dived?! And we are not dead!
First off, as an experienced skydiver myself, I would NEVER recommend that you do it without telling your spouse. For a few reasons. First off, what if you really enjoy it and want to do it more? And this is something you DO need to consider…it’s a highly addictive sport. Secondly, what if she finds out anyway? Do you really want to lie to her? And thirdly, and maybe most impportantly, the adrenaline rush is so amazing that you are most likely going to have some absolutely AMAZING sex that night. Do you want to have to explain why you are suddenly a different person in bed??
Ok on a more serious note, my advice to you would be to take her to the dropzone with you. Let her feel the energy of the people there. Let her meet some of the people that do it regularly, let her see that they are real people, with oftentimes normal jobs, many of which are also married and many with children of their own.
Skydiving is simply NOT as dangerous as most people believe, however many people still label it as risky behavior because it isn’t something that you HAVE to do. The fact that you have a better chance of dying in a car accident won’t always work because your wife might say “yes but i HAVE to drive in order to exist…you don’t HAVE to jump out of an airplane…”
My personal belief is that the best policy is total honesty and openness. If that doesn’t work, then maybe not jumping is a sacrifice you have to make as part of your marriage. But I will say this much…it’s an absolutely amazing experience…do whatever it takes to convince her that you can do it and do it safely :)
Hey if nothing else, tell her about the sex part! that may do it!
-John
Out of all the answers I read yours was the best. I am a wife, I have a young son (8 months) and my husband’s brother is getting married. My husband is the best man and has to throw the bacholor party. As such his brother wants to go sky diving. My husband knows I am against this and like you said comparing skydiving to driving is just as offensive to me as my brother-in-law asking my husband to do this anyway.
When we get married there are sacrifices we make for the other person’s personal feelings. I’ve made my share. To add to this my husband lost his best friend tragically in a work-related accident a year and a half ago. Forgive me if I would rather not take the unnecessary risk. I guess it bothers me more that people so cavilierly say that well only 30 people died this year. Wow…so if my husband is number 31 I should feel lucky? I’m in the minority, yepe!
When his bestfriend died…I didn’t think well this is a rare thing that happens…we are still greiving and trying to figure out why this happened. Why it was us. In his case…he had to work…there really wasn’t a whole lot we could do to stop it. When I think of skydiving and the totally UNNECESSARY high…I think ADDICT. I hear the same people telling me well only this many people die from a drug overdoes….
Why isn’t life enough of a high for people?
Sorry, the sex part doesn’t do it for me. My thinking is if you have to skydive to have great sex…someone isn’t doing it right or needs to work harder.
I appreciate your understanding of the husband/wife committment and I thank you for putting it out there.
Whether we agree of the dangers or risks of a really unregualted sport isn’t the point I want to make. I just appreciate that you respect women/wives enough not to put there feelings and issues to the side as if they don’t matter.
If you are married your wife is a lucky woman.
Thanks
LR
Well thank you for the compliment…I’m not married, and I have an ex-girlfriend that would argue with your final sentiments, however perhaps that is why she is an ex ;)
I’m not sure exactly how to respond…I can explain how I look at things, and then how most guys most likely look at things.
First off, if I had a wife that asked that I quit the sport, I would stop. This isn’t to say I’d do everything possible (short of manipulation and lying) to change her mind, but if she was adamant about it, I’d stop in a heartbeat. If I love her enough to marry her, she’s obviously more important than what is basically a hobby, regardless how much I enjoy it.
For most men however, there will more than likely be a much different reaction. First off it’s a control thing, men are inherently selfish and he’s not going to like you deciding what’s best for him. Men generally have less emotion, so he’s not going to understand your fear for his life, fear of losing him. Thirdly, you are essentially asking him to admit to his brother (and other men) that “my wife decides what I can and cannot do”. And generally this is the way it is communicated to other men, he won’t say “I love my wife, and she is scared for my life and fearful of losing me, and my love for her is stronger than my need for approval from you guys.”
Try to get him to put it in those terms to his buddies. They may kid him about it, but inside they will respect him.
And tell him I said that no amount of successful skydives is a fair trade for the woman you love. It’s fun as hell, but not as much fun as a devoted and loving wife.
As far as the sex thing, trust me, you just have to experience it to understand. I know that it’s possible to have incredible sex without involving my sport, but I also know the physical impact this adrenaline rush has on people, both men and women. It’s something that simply cannot be achieved without the use of illegal drugs.
Tell him I told him he’s not allowed to do it.
-John
I wish I had seen your response before. I would have printed it out and shared…lol.
Well..to give you an update. Out of the group only 2 people actually jumped. Lucky me my husband wasn’t one of the two.
I hope that he understands now that I’m o.k. that he has different desires and wants and challenges he wants to face and that they all won’t include me. I only ask that he respect our family and what we are trying to build enough to make better and less risky choices.
You seem to have things in perspective and when it is your time to marry I pray that she does truly appreciate what she has.
Good luck to you, John!
LR
anotheraussie Is about to go WWOOFing... with my little family!
My suggesstion is that you make an appointment with a the skydiving instructor you plan to work with and get him to meet with you and your family. These people skydive for a living they know the dangers, also I am sure they get these questions all the time. I don’t reccomment keeping it from them. Once your family sees the equiptment and maybe watches a few people before and after the dive, I think they will understand why you want to do this. It is a shame they don’t want to do it with you. But do everything you can to put them at ease by having it explained in detail how safe you are and what risks there are.
Good luck….
Let us all know how it goes!
Anotheraussie
At our DZ my wife was invited to attend the class to help put her at ease. She now joins me for most every jump and as time has gone on, she’s met the locals, she’s involved with the ground-swell of good feelings.. Your DZ is your family and she should be welcome. It’s ok to have anxiety for you, you yourself will have it too, but you must learn to not let those things stop you. I love my wifes involvement, you should be able to find the same.
-a
The chances of dying are very small. The equipment is always tested and usually people will take great care when another life is in their hands. Just make sure you find out about the certification the place you are jumping with is valid. That may put your spouse’s mind at ease. lintacious is right; you have more chances dying driving than sky diving. It’s a great thrill. Basically you will be trusting the same aerodynamics as birds do everyday, except that your parachute is sturdier than a bird’s wing and you have a back up if it fails. Just make sure the person you are jumping with is experienced and sober. You’ll be fine.
pinkfloyd is right too. Never lie to your loved ones about things like this. The hurt that you decieved her may be worse than the fear she feels about you parachuting down.
Tell her this Helen Keller quote
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all”
cheers
This is common. The easiest thing to do is just both of you go just to watch. once he sees how soft the landings are and the look one everyones faces when they land about how excited they are. You’ll be jumping by the end of the day. Just have to show him its not like they show to be in the movies. is anything they way they show it in the movies?
Skydiving is the ultimate rush. They call the feeling and airgasm. And for first timers, you go tandem. That means you have a chute plus a backup, and so does the instructor. Stand in a lightening storm, you have better chances of injury. You are also jumping from a high enough altitude and with multiple people. If four chutes in a row don’t open, you’ve beat more odds than the mega millions.
A higher percentage of golfers die playing their sport every year than skydivers.
Just don’t mention that they are all old and have heart attacks.
I would also suggets to anyone contemplating skydiving to seriously consider taking the class to do a solo jump and begin your life as a beginning skydiver. Tandem jumping is fun. Nowhere near as fun as being on your own, though.
jenal23
Skydiving was one of the MOST amazing things I’ve done. Ever. I highly recommend it! There is a ton of stuff on the internet about it and safety, check this out for a start. Good luck!
NateHowe is working on WhyAmIaMormon.com
Well, my wife was the one who persuaded ME to go, so I can’t relate completely. But when I was standing there waiting to go, I realized that my tandem jumper has jumped over 3000 times, and if he thought there was any reasonable possibility that this jump would be a failure (i.e. death), he wouldn’t go. He wouldn’t waste his last jump on me.
Have him jump with you! I went up with some friends to jump and my husband just went to watch and at the last minute he decided to jump too. It was so much fun and these people are professionals and you just have a blast. So my advice, have him jump too!! You will not regret it!! I’m going to do it again in April when I surprise my brother for his birthday!!
Raina
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