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kittymamba Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.
Well, maybe he’s not very sure about what he’s feeling… did he give you any reasons? Anyways, if he’s your true love, you’ll end up together someday, I suppose… and if not, well… life goes on and there are some many other people in the world, right? I’m pretty sure you will find someone who values you most!
Life is too short to be wasted on uncertain relationship.
My success rate is 1%. I get to know 100 guys. 50 (50%)of them never becomes friends. Another 50 (50%)are colleagues, pen pals, online chat friends, hang out friends, acquaintance etc. 10 of the 50 (10%) becomes good friends, shoulder to cry on, best buddies, every weekend hangout friend, everyday lunch friend. 1 person (1%) is the perfect guy, who loves you for who you are and will always be there for you.
I suggest you explore other guys!! Don’t waste time, relax and enjoy the friendship. The right guy will come in time.
I know how you’re feeling, and it’s sooo hard to deal with! I think you have to let him know how you feel, and IF he doesn’t feel the same way, then you have to move on. I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s not worth loving someone, and caring about them so much if they aren’t going to reciprocate those feelings. I’m so sorry, I hope it works out.
Stop focusing on him and focus on you. Find yourself, find what you love, not who. Then learn to love who you are, and it will make others do the same, perhaps even him…
Beautifully said – some advice for me as well. :)
Most men do not like being pursued. It is an oddity I do not profess to understand. I do know that you must first be comfortable with yourself before you can share that comfort with another. Take the professor’s advice, if you will. It my be that this relationship was blocking you from another, deeper, more true experience. Acceptance is the key to all of my problems today. Meditate. Pray. Help another person. Fast. Everything is as it should be.
4thisbirdhasflown wishes she'd just accept he'll never love her or be with her
As RPClancy said- beautifully said. You may be an evil professor, but you seem like a pretty cool one to me :)
Miraculous timing. The person with whom I fell in love, to answer this question and I are now just friends, and to be frank, it’s all my fault. We may never be anything more, but I’ve learned that the best way to increase our chances for the future are to be sure of who I am, become who I want to be, for myself, and let her know that I care about her, and be a good friend. If I’m the person she wants to be with, when the time comes, then we’ll be good friends, right there, and it will just happen, and if not, then at least I have the friendship of the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I miss the relationship I had every day, but to respect her, I move on, establish myself, take care of me, so that we can be friends, without drama, and so that someday, if things are right, we can be with one another again. The hard part is not knowing if that will ever happen, and forcing myself to be ok with it not. And knowing that if it doesnt happen, it will seem ok, in the future, no matter how not ok it seems now.
I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do to make him love you, and it sounds like you know this.
If he wants to be just friends, then I’m afraid you don’t have a choice here. I know it hurts, but it’s probably best to let this situation go and slowly allow your heart to move on. Someday you’ll find a guy who is head-over-heels crazy about you and who can’t wait to pursue you. And doesn’t that sound like more fun?
If it is truly love, then you don’t have to do anything. Work on yourself and he’ll come to you (if and only if, it was meant to be.) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you, it was meant to be.
Wow thank you .
“If you love something set it free if it comes back to you, it was meant to be.”
virginiabr is contemplating life.
Honestly…I know exactly where you are coming from…and I never really got over him completely until I fell in love with my husband.
I took advice from a great friend of mine. She said to find true love, stop looking. As long as you are looking for love, you won’t find it. Just enjoy life. I know it’s hard, but it’ll get easier, and once love does find you, it’ll be that much more great.
You don’t even know what love is.
Here’s a hint: It’s doesn’t end.
sophia7706 trying to get her apartment good and clean
maybe they don’t know your particular love. some loves end. some don’t. as far as i am concerned, any definition of love that attempts at universal parameters is bound to fail/ kind of fascist.
I guess that would make you wrong.
Well that’s a little closed minded and unthought through..
I can partly agree with you, so don’t go thinking i’m out to start a flame war. Love does stay forever, I have loved 3 times and I would be lying to say that this has gone away. I will always hold those feelings for those people. It doesn’t mean I like or have contact with them anymore though.
(to the girl asking the question)
I think holding contact with a previous love is detrimental to finding love again because those feelings will regularly come back to the surface. This then causes doubt and fear about the new relationship and ultimately you build barriers to protect yourself from falling in love again.
In short – I’m saying you need to ostrasize yourself from him and move on. Cut all contact, give it time, gain self confidence, and reel in a new love.
(Back to my reply to cavale)
Despite what the fairy tales tell you, people do not fall in love and live happily ever after.
Love might continue forever, but relationships do not.
Petty arguments, changes in character, career changes, social changes, outside influences all change a direction of the relationship and can ultimately cause a parting of ways. Only when two people truly love each other AND are devoted wholeheartedly and unselfishly can a relationship last. It takes sacrifices from both partners to hold it together. If one partner will not sacrifice something or change “something” that the other partner dislikes – The relationship is bound to fail.
If either partner is not willing to sacrifice what is necessary, then it’s not truly love.
This still doesn’t prove the AdoresU has no idea what love is though.
Unrequited love is common, it’s very possible to fall in love with someone and not have them love you back. She could be perfectly willing to sacrifice what is necessary, he might not.
get him to?
just move on. if he doesn’t feel that way, it’s over darling. stop trying to pursue someone that doesn’t want you. it’s a waste of your time and his. ‘make him’ is never a good word in a relationship.
Sit down with a pen and paper and describe each emotion you are feeling.
Love doesn’t change. It’s a word used often for coersion. If that word was used on you to get you to open areas that otherwise would be closed, you might feel used. Love is something we can FEEL, for and FROM another. If someone tells you they love you but all you feel from them is impatience and irritation, they probably don’t love you. They might have found intellectual reasons why they value you, but that is different than the experience and emotion of love. We can’t help how we feel! Try as you might, your heart decides the important things. However, when you actively emote love in and around others, they can feel it, and we are so emotionally immature in this society, that they might believe what they perceive is actually how they feel!
Next big talking boy with a passion tells you he loves you, be sure to test it by not letting him work you for sex.
You cant make someone love you again. Let it go for now if not forever. I fought with this problem for a long time. Think positively, its never failed me. Tell yourself he will love you again and that you know your right for each other and it will be that. Believe yourself when you say it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Even if you feel naive hold onto the belief that your perfect for each other and he will know that, continue your life but know that in your heart.
thank you, maybe i should try that..
Chandler Klebs is confused about the future
What does he mean by “just friends” ?
In my opinion that’s a good thing. What more can you want? I don’t really think anybody knows what a good friend is. I have a friend I’ve known my whole life. I would gladly marry her if that’s what she wanted but what I really want is for things to be the way they were back when we were kids. If he wants to be your friend then stop worrying. He could have said he never wanted anything to do with you!
maybe i should just let the love thing go, and stay friends…
I’m trying really hard .
tabbycat2482 getting rid of more clutter
i tried this before and it didn’t work. i spent years in love with a guy who never loved me back and it was complete misery. it’s not worth it. like someone else said. focus on yourself and when you love yourself it will show and attract other more worthy men and one of them will worship you. you should accept no less!
4thisbirdhasflown wishes she'd just accept he'll never love her or be with her
I have just come out of an 11 month long relationship with a lovely but very troubled guy who I secretly knew never loved me, but clung onto. It was so painful and miserable. To make things worse, before that I spent about 10 months seeing a guy who never pretended to love me, but I started falling in love with….it’s so painful to feel like you can love quite easily, but others don’t wan t to love you back! I need to start loving myself as well as I can love others…but how?
I posted my reply to you above miss. In a reply to the wondeful all knowing (/sarcasm) cavale.
Let us all know what you finally decide to do about things.
Don’t let your world fall apart because of this. It is not the end of the world despite how it may feel at times.
Thank you very much ^^ .
I’ll do whatever it takes to move on like you said, and just let love find its way..
Steve is learning some new juggling tricks
Don’t know if you’ll still be reading by the time you get this, but I’d just like to encourage you – if I could. I know the burning pain inside from love unreturned. And from a close friend, it becomes near all-consuming.
But you’re in danger.
As much as it feels like you may need him to live, you really don’t. Keep reading! You need to be happy living – yourself – before you add anybody else to the equation.
If you don’t feel able to go on without him – and you end up together – you’ll put undue pressure on him. You’ll find yourself expecting and wanting more than he can give you as a fellow, flawed, person. And if you find yourself in that situation, you’ll feel empty again – and wonder why. And that will be all the more painful, trust me.
For your heart’s sake if nothing else, you should ponder on the old words of the Song of Songs -
“I charge you by the gazelles and does of the field -
Do not arouse or awaken Love, until it so desires”.
Simply put, Love is bigger than our ability to reason. Respect it enough to not try to force it.
thank you! and yes i am reading all the comments xD!
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