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Thanks for sharing. It was a good thing that you realised it. It took me such a long time to realise why I always escape and whenever guys try to get closer. I always find an excuse to justify why I had to avoid the person and ends up not being able to get into any romantic relationship for I am afraid of being rejected too. Somehow, there is this nagging fear that I will be rejected once they know the real me. The same way my mum had always told me. I need to face my fear. I don’t know how but I have to try to take the baby steps towards accepting close relationships and taking risks to be uncomfortable, to expose the real me.
All the best for you too! 1 week ago

Yes, finally, I will no longer let fatigue, lack of time, etc be an excuse for not exercising. Love the online dancing tutorial and cycling around my neighbourhood. Embracing exercise as part of my weekly routine is my first step. 9 months ago

Finally came to a point where the pull to get a car is more than the push. Wished to drive my grandma around while she is still alive, to save my health by driving since my workplace is so far away from my home and making me sleep-deprived, to practise driving and overcome my fear of driving, to let my family members practise driving too since there were no opportunities after getting our licenses. Guess, the main push factor is the price. Such a hefty sum. But, it’s time to get more information and to see if I can afford to own a car. 10 months ago

Yes, indeed, people change and it can be disappointing when the person we love only exist in our memory. Thanks for sharing your story and how life can be better after breakups :)

Omg…what a waste…buying a car and not being able to drive it…hope that your situation has improved. 10 months ago

After 2 weeks of flu and cough, I think it is time to really take my health seriously..especially when it is going to affect my work and my ability to continue serving others. Have finally repaired my bike and hope to start cycling again soon :) 10 months ago

Hey, seems like quite a lot of thin girls also go through the same issue. Found that constipation and gastric problems also contribute to the problems in addition to the lack of abs exercise. Hopefully, we can find a solution to this.. 10 months ago

Thanks for sharing your story with me. Hope that you’d also be able to make full use of the unemployment period to understand yourself better and to get the best job fit soon! And yes, volunteering would be a good way to start getting into the working mode.
All the best!

Whoa..that is an interesting perspective and yes, fighting against it can be counter productive instead. Letting it come and then letting it go would be a lot more useful. Thank you. Will try to practise that in my daily life. 12 months ago

Finally, I have been able to do everything I set out to do. It was not easy to fight the inertia and depressive mood that brings me down. However, setting the goal and telling myself to just do it and giving it a shot made so much difference. And exercising through dancing kind of lifted my spirits before I go on to do other job-related tasks. Though going out made me sad and afraid that I would bump into anyone whom I might know, I was glad that I did not let unemployment stop me from enjoying simple joys in life. I have started noticing that the low mood really strikes hard at night and does affect my sleep. But, I aim to reflect on the positive things that happen throughout the day and to remind myself of my ultimate goal – to serve and that should not be affected by my unemployment. Will try to keep to a fixed schedule with regular sleeping hours to keep my spirits up.

A few more things to smile at today and I believe there will be more to come..
And, thank you for all the cheers! Really mean a lot to me at this very low point in my life. Am touched by the encouragement 12 months ago

Yes, indeed, employment is very much a part of my identity. My work is my passion and very important to me. Yes, it is indeed a big blow.

Am glad to hear that you survived and did more work when you were unemployed. An inspiration for me :) Yes, I will find my way out of this and perhaps, it’s time to try out things I never thought might be good for me.

Thanks for the encouragement! 12 months ago

Thank you for the encouragement and the empathy. Yes, learning to be thick-skinned and not being affected by rejections. Indeed, am trying to set up goals and appreciating every lesson I learn along this process of getting a new job. Thanks again! 12 months ago

Never thought that unemployment can be so depressing. But, it is really the waiting, the uncertainty, being in limbo that make the period quite unbearable. Used to think that it would be very easy and was so confident to get a job fast. Slowly, I am realizing that I am reaching a dead-end. Feel that I might be slowly slipping into depression if I don’t pick myself up. My goals in the past seemed to be irrelevant now. And slowly I am losing the drive to do things that were meant for a career in the field that I have devoted so much time in. Now, I am only watching shows to lift up my spirits as nothing else interest me anymore. Don’t even feel like going out to meet people as I don’t want to be grilled on the reasons I left my previous company without a job. But, I need to start being productive and remembering that my aim in life is to serve and nothing should stop me from doing that. I need to start structuring my life and making myself productive while bringing up my mood and not slipping down further in the spiral. No one can walk out of this but me. And I will do it. 12 months ago

Good to hear that you’ve accepted them instead. If you ever feel any anger towards them, know that it is not a sign that you’re unfilial. It’s normal. Don’t act on the anger but just let it out. I guess our parents are not perfect and are as human as we are with experiences that made them that way. May we break out of this cycle :) 13 months ago

Rather than worry about looking bad, I decided to focus on getting the right food that will energize and improve my health. Drinking goats milk as it is alkaline and better for my gastric and also taking flax seed oil that is supposed to also help with moisturizing my dry skin. Also taking in more nuts as well. Would no longer attempt to take the shortcut to gain weight by eating unhealthy food as I used to. It is not sustainable and would give me health problems in the long run. Hope to reach the minimum weight to donate blood soon! 13 months ago

Hey,

Heard from someone that research on positive psychology has shown that for every 1 criticism/negative thought, you need to neutralise with 3 positive thoughts / strengths about yourself. Why not try it?

Anyway,am kind of in the same boat as you. Have stopped expecting my parents to accept me for who I am. It is kind of sad and there is always this hope that things will change and they will accept me for who I am at times. But, I have been more aware of the irrational criticism they have of me that has been internalized. I only wish to do my best rather than worry that I am never good enough.

May you see your strengths and know that you are good enough. And above all, love yourself for who you are. 13 months ago

Thanks for inspiring me! And I would definitely follow ur advice :)

Although I wouldn’t normally recommend such an extreme move, but it’s good to have “cold turkey” treatment if you’re very much addicted to Facebook. It would be painful initially. But it would give you more time to do other things that are more important :) Cheers!

Being mindful is about being in the present. And when I was unable to control what was going to happen next, I heard the advice again – be mindful. Being mindful allowed me to notice and observe my anxiety and paranoid thoughts. It allowed me do something that was useful when all sense of control over the situation is absent. Initially, thoughts that I could not overcome this situation overwhelmed me..then, I started noticing the thoughts and made my goal nothing but being mindful. Yes, in a sense, it is about letting go of what can’t be controlled and doing things that are still within my control, i.e., calming myself and having the right mindset. And it paid off! The outcome was surprisingly good and I pulled it off calmly and confidently :) 13 months ago

Sounds like the Judge in you is putting you down and preventing you from moving forward. I used to have such fears too..memorizing a script and re-running it in my head more than 100 times..expecting to be humiliated..not sure what your challenge is exactly, but I know that mine was the critical people who put me down when I was young and that critic has been internalized after that. It takes a lot for me to overcome that critic.

When I finally realized that there was no way I could serve others without overcoming this fear, I finally took the small steps. Asking questions in class (sitting at the first row) to avoid others turning around and millions of eyes staring right at me. Then, gradually, moving to rows further back. It was scary but I reminded myself that it is not about me and I chose to focus on just getting my points across instead. Then, I realised that others don’t really care as much as I think. So, I prepared my heart instead. My goal was to relax and not about getting the things done right. Even if I did only 10%, I congratulated myself. It has been scary when I first started and still is at times when the stake is high. But, I learnt to prepare my heart. Hope that you will find your way out too :) 13 months ago

Am glad to know that the words were helpful to you :) Indeed, if one never try, one will never know. Thank you for sharing my joy and may you reach your goal too! All the best!

Good to hear that you’re taking the first steps. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty when you take care of yourself. You deserve it and when you can truly love yourself, you can then love others more :) 14 months ago

Good job! Yes, indeed, when you truly care, the impact is tremendous :)

Moving on is tough but the fit is also very important. Plan for it and it may be better than you think. All the best! 15 months ago

Thank you for the suggestion :) Actually, there are other reasons for not posting a picture. Nothing to do with confidence but yes, will consider getting a picture that represents me :)

Yes, indeed, I need to practise more and perhaps, practise going out of my comfort zone.

Thank you for sharing your experiences! 15 months ago