for our upcoming church performance. 3 weeks ago
- Woke at 630am 3rd day in a row.
- Delivered/distributed flyers for our church event.
- Pulled weeds growing between the tiles in the driveway.
- My sister making me lunch.
- The brother making me dinner.
- Cooking myself a small piece of steak.
- Read ‘Sleepers’, then watched the film adaptation.
- Meditated for a solid hour and 20 minutes.
- Being grateful. 3 weeks ago
- Woke at 6.30am, meditated as soon as I woke.
- Practiced. Was very inspired.
- Master A. came back.
- My phone ran out of battery.
- Discovered Sam Harris.
- Straddle pulls.
- Delicious Porridge.
- Rubbed icing on my two friends. One got terribly upset, but I have no regret.
- Restraint, management of my emotions.
. 3 weeks ago
- Forgave and made amends to them.
- Woke up at 630am.
- Chores were done.
- Chocolate cake.
- Surprise birthday for my friend.
- Played the Ibanez, it was beautiful, it was unlike any other. 3 weeks ago
- The negative experience I had, I trust it serves a greater purpose.
- Still alive. 4 weeks ago
This negativity invaded me whilst at church. We could not get the songs sounding anywhere near right and I just got so angry and frustrated. I wanted to take it out on the team because they could not play their parts right when they needed to. To be fair its all our fault for not putting in the effort. I feel also its partly my fault for not trying hard enough to rectify the situation. All I could focus on was the negativity brewing inside of me. Being the only man in the team today, they were looking at me for guidance and inspiration. I could not deliver that, Im not capable of leading anyone, not yet.
My negativity spread towards them, evident by our lacklustre performance, and practice afterwards was unbearably awkward as I just rushed to get the songs done. I looked at them and our hearts was just not in it. I feel sorry, sorry for myself but mostly sorry to God, for not caring enough.
I feel so bad inside, just so bitter and hateful. And it is so heavy, it wont go away. 4 weeks ago
Do the staff working in the teahouse live there? What do they do to pass the time?
Is there wifi up there?
How does one convince a group of people to build a temple/teahouse there?
How do they dispose of waste?
How/where do they store water up there?
How do they get a significant amount of water up there? 4 weeks ago
- E, C, Y, their company brings me joy.
- For my service, the old widow we helped imparted to me a record player and a box of records. I felt sad accepting this from her.
- Helped my mother clean the house.
- Drove at night.
- our family is just so happy. 4 weeks ago
- My father having confidence in my driving ability.
- Slept in the arvo.
- Shot, produced and uploaded my work onto youtube!~
- E and J, I grow closer to them, they feel like extended sisters.
- D getting his drum parts sorted.
- noodles, there was’nt enough for everyone.
- The goddaughter, she was extra adorable today, again she almost makes me want to have a kid of my own. 4 weeks ago
Noice cat! 4 weeks ago
- Plunged into the beach!. It was chilly at first but the water was beautiful.
- Spent time with the crew.
- Discontent. 4 weeks ago
These crabs are delicious! not the ones you procure from being intimate with homeless people! 4 weeks ago
- Composed a short tune with the new guitar.
- Slept in the afternoon.
- Practice, we actually got somewhere.
the best however were from the people who surround me. I realise I don’t feel lonely anymore, or rather that it feels so good to not be alone, to have friends to talk to. I was so used to my own company all these years that Ive forgotten what this felt like.
I feel connected to people, in the same way I did as a child. Tonight
my sense of humor oozed out, and it came out naturally, the timing, content and uniqueness of my humor was surprising.
- The drive as we dropped them off.
- Me and Dad jamming, felt so good. Mum was watching and she was having a ball too.
- Singing ‘Sinking Deep’. :D 4 weeks ago
- Woke up this morning hyper sensitive to the world. Felt like Peter parker the morning he woke up after being bit by the spider. I felt nothing like it before.
*Spiritual encounter with a beetle.
- saw a doctor about my prozac dosage.
- Non reactive to people around me. They were positive too.
- A possible new guitar!!!!
- Trained the straddle pulls. 4 weeks ago
- Took it out of a cup.
- Flipped it over.
- Saved it from being crushed.
I count that as 3 acts. 4 weeks ago
After practice, I stayed behind to clean up. When I was washing dishes I found a small beetle frantically trying to escape, stuck inside a yellow cup. It appeared that its wings were soaked preventing it to fly. I carefully took it out and placed it on top of the microwave.
About ten minutes later, I was about to leave when I saw another beetle
on the table. This time on its back, again frantically trying to get into position. I smiled and wondered if this was the same beetle. I took it and placed it on the carpet. So long insect, God be with you.
I get to my dark room to sleep and all of a sudden I am startled by something buzzing around me. I turn on the lights and right next to my feet is a beetle. It appears to be the same one as I havent seen more than 1 beetle at a time.
As I was pondering this, my brother walks in the room to get his shoes. I saw it coming and he steps directly on this poor creature. I almost yelled at him to take his foot of, and he stared at me quizically.
I thought the beetle was crushed to death. It was not moving. My previous efforts were in vain, like they always are. As I was about to ask myself why I was so concerned with an insect, it started crawling, slowly at first then with renewed vigor started pacing around aimlessly, in the same frantic fashion. I could’nt help but laugh and be happy for this little guy. It has had the most unfortunate day; being stuck, being turned over and being crushed.
I cant help but feel that Im supposed to learn/gain some kind of insight from this. Maybe I am that beetle? That an outside force greater than myself will come and save me when I am overwhelmed. That I should yield and let things unfold as they would. That I should be strong and resilient like a beetle? 4 weeks ago
This spoke to me, goes beyond just getting laid. 4 weeks ago
Put his car up on our version of craigslist. Within 2 days he got a phone call, behind it was a thick accent of unknown origin. It all seemed legit until this person said he wanted the rustbucket shipped to hawaii. He requested for our names and bank accounts also, explaining through broken english that he wants us to pay for shipping which was 5x the price of the car.
We baited this fellow for almost a week,
Using reasons such as ;
‘My grandfather whos a steel tycoon just died left me the company, ill send the money tomorrow. ‘
‘Ok buddy, how about I pay half of the 10000 now and the rest when you pay me’
It was funny for awhile, then I realised this person mustve had a shit roll of the dice to go through all this length to scam people. Then I noticed the desperation in his voice, he mustve called hundreds today in hopes that at least one would fall for his deception. Felt sympathy for this person, almost enough to send him something. 4 weeks ago
- Moment with Teine. <3
- Realising I probably dont look that bad. Not all the time.*
- Said hello to people who passed me on the path.
- Talking to Cr after.
- 9 Seconds on high tuck planche.
- Straddle pulls.(3,3,1)
- Drove in the city.
- The small fan in my room that has been my salvation from the sweltering heat.
- Eating leftovers from last night.
- Clarense and the goddaughter. Those two are adorable, makes me almost want to have my own litter.
- Teaching the cousin a bassline. 1 month ago
Today I helped clean up the wedding party. I felt guilty when I learned that they started cleaning up last night, finishing till 330am.
I arrived at the reception venue to find that there was little to do. I felt the people around were cross that I left them, but I tried my best to help and they became forgiving as time passed.
now there came point
After everything was done where we were just fooling around making silly jokes and eating left over food. The girls were carrying each other and it looked so retarded/pathetic that I burst out laughing.
Teine, this girl who’s shown mixed signals in the near distant past, came up to me and said,
‘Ok Ghost, now Im going to piggyback you!’,
She followed that by bending over right in front of me. Im not sure if she was flirting with me because her friends started laughing and they gave hi-5’s to each other.
I didnt know how to react to the situation and excused myself to go to the toilet.
facepalm1 month ago
I havent actually tried it but I have heard that it’s the ‘roman orgy in your mouth’ of coffees. 1 month ago
- Got a killer mohawk cut.
- Wore a killer suit.
- Witnessed the union of two beautiful people. The skies were clear and it was on a garden overlooking the beach.
- Awesome reception. Good food, good wine.
- Best man speech was hilarious, he mentioned the groom has ‘Bionic Balls’ from a motorcycle accident.
- Great company, near the end of the night everyone danced to a live band. This was a significant fear of mine that I routinely avoided.
The first time I danced tonight I was so stricken with anxiety it came off as serial killer-ish.
- She (tine) made me feel at ease and she looked beautiful. I loosened up and continued to make a spectacle of myself till I did not care anymore.
- Danced like a complete twat *
- Felt more comfortable around them. They are starting to feel like family now.
- 1 month ago
on one of those long horizontal escalators that you hop on when you are too lazy to walk. This Zyklon B has been building inside of me for 8 hours and I decided to let it out thinking it wasn’t going to be that bad. As soon as it came out, I realised my grave mistake as this gas of air that can only be described as coming from the pits of Mordor hit my nostrils almost instantly. It was foul, it was inhuman, it was so thick you could almost taste it. Like Pandora’s box I couldnt stop even though I desperately wanted to.
Within seconds a stream of people walked briskly past me on the escalator. They were confined and couldnt move sideways to try and dodge the evil mist. One woman was almost running with her trolley. These were people who were tired from a 12 hour flight.
Oh my lord I couldnt breath from laughing so hard while trying to not make a sound. 1 month ago
- Helped a bride.
- Helped a friend in the process.
- E and J, the friends I never had in highschool. :( :)
- P my oarsome considerate cousin, what will we do without her.
- gym’ed w/o feeling self conscious
- Drove in the city alone!!!
- Being happy.
- Dad in a good mood.
- My brother catching crabs (from the sea).
- Seeing the sister help others.
- Confronted a major fear.
- Confronted an awkward situation. 1 month ago
I only meant to drop my sister off, I was not in the mood to help anyone. But fate roped me in. I only meant to say hello to the bride to be but she assumed that I was there to lend a hand since they were short of people.
I helped decorate and arrange the reception, things I knew nothing of being mainly a woman’s work. I ended up having fun socialising through the tediousness.
What had me laughing was her 16 year old son who was hopelessly hungover. He was barely there and was saying all this nonsensical things doing a halfass job of everything. He was adding to his mother’s already frayed nerves, at one point she threatened to kick him in the face and I didnt doubt she would. 1 month ago
insight from meditation:
I dont follow through with my actions once I lose sight of the track paved by others. This fear grows out of uncertainty, will I make the right move?, what if this yields fruitless and I cost the wellbeing of others? I want to be led, told what to do. Therein lies a major flaw in my character, my actions a result of fear, uncertainty, apathy.
To make this right, I will have to develop courage and move in faith despite the uncertainties because it is my duty to do so. 1 month ago