It was so weird. my whole life there has always been memories and feelings that I’ve kept locked deep inside. I tried so hard to just move on and forget everything that had happened and never remember. But I knew the pain was still there and no matter how much I chose to forget it, it would always remain.
One day it just hit me. It was like dominos. I remembered somthing that had happened when I was young. Than I remembered other things, pretty soon I was so overwhelmed by all these momories the tears just poured out along with the pain.
I reliezed that i have been alone my whole life. that the people I always thought where there for me never where. the friends I thought where my support where just shallow aqantences.
I’m still strugling to get over what happened and it sucks having to deal with it now. life was much easier to just get by when you don’t remember all the pain, but its helped me see that I’m a very strong person.
everyones always viewed me as some weakling who is always in need of help and after a while that view point grew on me. but its not true. I’m stronger than eveyone in my life, because I made it. I made it through the mental and physical abuse, all alone without anyone to lean on. My family, they didn’t help, my freinds, they didn’t help. I helped my self. I stood up and did what i had to do.
So I’m glad that I remember. I”m glad that I cried, because Now I feel like the strongest person around. I feel ready to take on mountains. I feel like screaming on the top of my lungs that I did it. i’m alive. I’m here. Crying has changed my life. 17 months ago
I really apprecaite your post. it shows me that i need to not be affraid of rejection. I need to get over it if I want to find happyness. Thank you for posting your success. it helped me out alot
I wonder what this would be like everyday. I have found people that I am willing to love for who they are, but in the end they wheren’t willing to love me for who I was. Its very hurtful and heart shattering. but maybe someday I will find the right person.
So sick of hearing promises from people and them acting like they are just so sure of what they want and then suddenly changing their minds and leaving. Its taken away almost all of my hope. its turned me into a clam, all I do is hold in all my feelings and thoughts because I just don’t see the point of sharing them with people anymore. they are just going to leave 17 months ago
Theres this huge urge inside of me to just step inside the car, and go. TO just drive tell I can drive no longer. to a city where no one knows of my name. Where I can restart and not have my family pulling me down and spreading rumors about me.
I’m so sick of the prejudged looks people give me here. Everything thinks they know me but they don’t. They don’t know anything about my life, my past, my struggles. They think that they can just take the rumors they hear and decided for themselves who I am. But I am who I choose to be. They don’t get to pick whats wrong with me. Because I already know that there is nothing wrong with me. I”m just me. And maybe Im a bit diffrent from most people, but arn’t we all? No two people are exactly alike and so people judging me and trying to make me normal are only fooling them selves.
Somday I’ll find a place, where I can restart. I’ll find a place where I will create how people view me by my own actions and words, not those of others. 17 months ago
I would love to know how it feels to have this. TO know that no matter what that person there will always love you and never leave you. Today I look at married couples with envy. They have somthing I don’t. Sure there are guys out there that are willing to talk to me and be my friend. But they none that I know of who is willing to stick around through thick or thin..
Somtimes they say they are, and at first you believe them. You bear your heart and soul after promises of them never leaving. than one day you wake up to a text saying “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this”
What is it like, to date someone one, knowing that they will be there tell the end? what is it like to wake up to someone everyday who is happy to see your morning makeupless face?
I have kknow clue what its like. I would love to know. But I fear its just not going to happen. To many times I’ve been burned. I gave my heart away once after he begged and begged me to do so. Only to have him throw it down becuase he decided maybe he didn’t want it after all.
My insides scream to be loved. 17 months ago
