So, Dickens’ “Tale of Two Cities” was great. I actually had to read it on e-book and a friend lend me hers, bacause I don’t even own one – that’s how much I wanted to read this book. Totally worth the effort !
Now, for the letter E I chose Umberto Eco – “The Name of the Rose”. A classic, so I thought I’d be a Dickens-style book. Boy, was I wrong ! It’s a very difficult and slow read, I’m struggling through it for a couple weeks already (I’m kind of busy too). But I’m not ready to give up yet. 2 months ago
so, it’s not as bad as last time. I have a shitty job that is really low-paid but somehow I’m managing to pay off my debts little by little. It’s still a lot, but mostly bank-loans and not money borrowed from friends, so it’s a relief. 2 months ago
so, now I’m about 69 kg. I’m so pleased my weight is below 70, you have no idea. I think it’s because of my work, Allen Carr’s Easyweigh book and my bike. It’s not so much that my weight has changed, but my body, I can see a big difference. We’ll see how it goes.
68 kg is my goal now. 2 months ago
for B I chose Polish writer Joanna Bator – I was interested in her works for quite a while, so I’m glad I finally read one of her books.
After that I read Italian writer Italo Calvino. His book “If on a winter’s night a traveler” was on my list for a long time, so I was kind of excited – unfortunatelly it was a terrible read for me. I didn’t like the concept o this book at all, but I managed to finish it.
Now, for letter D I chose one of my favourite authors – Charles Dickens and his “Tale of two cities”. I’m still searching for this book, because of all Dickens’s works this one seems to be the hardest one to get in my country. 4 months ago
Isabel Allende “Daughter of Fortune”.
I loved it. At first I was afraid it’s gonna be a romance/love story, but it turned out to be a fascinating book about 19th century Brithish colony in Chile and then gold fever in Calofirnia. There are many interesting characters and biographies presented in the book, so the love affair plot line is just one of the many. 6 months ago
new work, new schedule, no time to eat. I’m kind of loving it. Also I’m in a bad place in my head right now, so I’m in very self-destructive mood. 7 months ago
well, so this goal is something that I’ll probably be working on my whole life. I’m NOT a positive person. The best I can do is accept my reality.
Through yoga and meditation I’ve learned to be more calm and in peace with life. I realized I can’t fight some things and sometimes I can’t help I feel the way I feel. I think that’s a big accomplishment already.
I think my goal now is not to be angry and disappointed with myself. Because I’m getting bitter and I don’t want to. I don’t want to wait for something to happen so my “better life” can start. And that’s the way I feel. I’m constantly waiting and I don’t even know what for. I have this feeling that I’ll be more happy in the future, that things will be better in the future, that the future will be so intense and fun.
When I fall in love, when I loose weight, when I get a job … the list of “conditions” can be endless and I know it doesn’t make sense. 8 months ago
I came back to my yoga class after few months break. I don’t really feel like I’ve made a step back (maybe just in being balaced), but it’s good to practise again. It won’t be as regular as it used to be, because my work hours are changing weekly, but I’m happy to be back.
Also I got a bike again few months ago and I’ve been using it instead of a tram/bus. I can feel my legs are much stronger now. It’s winter now, so I have to take a break, but maybe I’ll use my training bike more instead. 8 months ago
it was not a good year. I was struggling with financial problems all the time. I have debts, I accepted money that was given, not borrowed, by my father, I’m still behind on rent etc.
I’m crawling back from that hole. Slowly and painfully and I’m not very happy right now, but at least money is no longer on the list of things that worry me. 8 months ago
They’re just so sexy. 12 months ago
I used to have a goal here “be able to jog for 30 min without stopping”. Finally I’ve deleted that, because I couldn’t manage to do this and I thought it’ll never change.
Surprise surprise – I did it. And it wasn’t even that hard.
Few tips :
1 start really really slow.
My friend told me to be so slow it’s almost like walking. But you’re not, and your body works in a different way.
2 pick a good jogging place.
I never liked running in circles on the sports field or around the hill or sth. Now I go to a big beautiful park neaby and it’s completly different.
3 use something as determinant.
Like a certain route you want to complete, the amount of time you want to be running or the distance. For me it’s still time. When I start feeling confident running for 30 min – when won’t be afraid if I have enough energy to finish or that I’m running to slow – probably I’ll choose another determinant.
Ok, that’s it for now. Fingers crossed I’ll keep it up ! 12 months ago
That’s very interesting what you wrote ! I have BIG problem with standing on one leg. When I started practising yoga it was the most difficult excercise for me. In yoga it’s believed that the balance is actually connected with the base chakra – the one that reflects your ability of being in a present moment. Of living in present day, on being yourself and not like a flag in the wind. It makes sence, when you think about it.
Now, after taking yoga for 6 months, I can see the progres – but with my eyes open. I tried to do the excercise you described and closed my eyes – and started to wobble immediately. I still have a long way to go. 14 months ago
so, again something has happend and it changed my point of view completly.
I always say life makes no sence, but at the same time I’m the most obsessed person I know. I worry, overthink, drive myself crazy because of stuff that shouldn’t matter with my point of view for life.
Somebody told me lately I’m making to much decisions with my mind instead of my heart. I don’t really know this person so maybe it’s something he always says – but anyways, that’s so very true when it comes to me. And why do I give my mind, my reason the voice so often, when there’s nothing resonable in this world ?
I just don’t want to be insecure, self-conscious, apprehensive all the time. Maybe it doesn’t seem to have anything with “thinking positively” – but it does. I need to let go of THINKING all the time in the name of being happy. 14 months ago
I’ve spent some time recently with new people. Cool, active, sports people, mostly foreigners. Funny thing, they weren’t asking me if I “do sports”, they were asking “what sports” do I do. I felt embarrased that I don’t really train or something. It’s a new way of looking at this side of life for me. Because I really think sport is important in a healthy lifestyle that I want to lead. So why it’s so hard for me to be more active ? Anyways I feel inspired. 15 months ago
I just came back from an event I was working at occasionally – it was long, 2 weeks away ! I’ve met great people, passionate and dedicated to what they do. And they were asking me “what do you do in an everyday life ?”. And I was not satisfied with what I had to answer. Again. My work is ok when I don’t have to spek about it. It’s physical mostly, low paid, irregular hours … I was about to quit, then I thought “it’s not a good time, first I need to find something else” – and then I stopped looking. I’m sick of not knowing what to do in life, sick of worrying about money, sick of feeling so insecure all the time. 15 months ago
so it’s been pretty the same all the time – yoga twice a week and lots of walking. But now I have an exercise bike in my flat, in my room (!) so I’ve decided to start using it. It belongs to my friend but she has no space in her room for it and she wasn’t really using it anyways …
It’s really difficult for me to find the motivation for something SO BORING but maybe I’ll watch a movie when cycling or an episode of Sex and the City (to observe Carrie’s arms …). I tried once – it’s nothing like a real bike, after 12 minutes (to burn 100 calories) I was sweaty and red on my face and really tired !
So it’s a challenge. I’ll start with 3 times a week for 10 minutes (or so, to burn those 100 cal) and I need to do sit-ups again, because I love to have flat stomach. 16 months ago
so we moved and the new flat needed A LOT of remodeling. It belongs to one of my flatmates, so he was taking care of all that, I did almost nothing. It was difficult to live with cans of paint lying everywhere, but we’re almost done. It’s cute, a lot of white, wooden floors, most of the space feels so fresh. My room is so big, I had never lived in such big room, even in my family house. The distance from the city centre is ok – could be better, but it’s not tragic and connection by tram is good and some of my closest friends live nearby (walking distance).
It’s almost perfect then. Almost … because, you know, I’m not a “modern” person. I like oldschool things in furniture, decor etc. I like original style, not the “fashionable” one. I like loud music, open house, dancing at home at parties and not sitting behind the table. My flatmates – who are otherwise lovely – are not like that. And it’s their house, I’m just living there. So it will never be the way I wish. But for now it’s really cool. More than I expected. 16 months ago
ok, this idea kind of died … I was facing many many things – I didn’t start volunteering and I didn’t start practising my russian. I moved a lot those past few months. I’ve had new jobs (plural!), did new things – it’s just not easy to write about this. It’s time in my life when a lot is going on … I hope it will always be like that, because I don’t let myself to be bored. Or my friends won’t let me.
I’m always searching for new ways to earn money, to experience new things, meet cool people, collect fun memories. I think I don’t need that challenge right now :) 16 months ago
It really tells a lot, what I wrote last time, that it’s really dependent on people how I feel.
Nobody has time these days. Including me. But I can really do a lot in the name of friendship. I need this. I need to see my friends, people who I love, I need to be surrounded by them, feel their interest, I need to know they miss me. Maybe it shows how desperate I am. I don’t know. I’m single. Without my friends I don’t exist.
I realized I focus too much on how my relationships with certain people used to be. When things change, I can’t accept it. I wish I could so it’d be possible to build on what we have now …
It’s so painful when somebody doesn’t have time for me. Because when I’m lonley, I don’t see the point of living. 18 months ago
I’m moving all the time these past several months. First it was a great apartment, terrible company. Then ok apartment, wonderful company. Now very good apartment, very good company. And we are moving together again. All that in just 6 months. That’s too much change, even for me. I like my current place, although the building is terrible, my worst nightmare. Who knew I’d be able to accept that, because once you enter our flat, it feels so nice to be here. 18 months ago
I didn’t find a place to do volunteer work yet, but I did some other NEW things this month.
*I went to a “casino” with a friend, played roulette and won ! It wasn’t a lot, but enough to buy dinner for 2 people. It was really a great, spontaneous evening.
*I cooked dinner for my friends and invited them to my new flat. I get very nervous when inviting people as well as when I cook for someone. This time I did both of those things and it felt really great.
*I came up with the idea of a photography project for myself. It requires finding people (“models”), arranging meetings with them AND taking good pictures. A challenge. Artistic one. I like it.
But I still want to volunteer also. Just time is passing so fast ! 18 months ago
I still take yoga twice a week (sometimes once, but that’s just lately) and I started to notice my body is changing a bit. I have visible muscles on my arms and it makes me proud, I always admired “Madonna’s arms” (maybe not so extreme, but muscular arms are beautiful to me).
I use my whole body muscles when I exercise. My thighs are getting stronger, my stomach flatter. It’s so wonderful. 18 months ago
Now I’m in a phase when things are in my life are like a sine wave. I feel very loved right now, surrounded by wonderful people. I take yoga, it’s becoming a new hobby and a way to explore myself. I look at the mirror and think – this girl is cool.
At the same time I feel exhausted with my “work life”, I’m lacking inspiration and self confidence to develop myself profesionally.
So I can be high as the sky one day and very very VERY low the next. I think it’s really dependent on people, they make my life better. I wish I wasn’t feeling so lonley so often. 19 months ago
I’ve decided to be more specific when it comes to making resolutions like this one. If I stay with “something new”, I’l never do anything.
So I need to make a plan for myself … a list of 12 new things, each one for a different month this year.
So, for now it’s like this:
JANUARY – join yoga classes. Check. I loooove it !
FEBRUARY – volunteer
MARCH – start practising my russian
t.b.a. 19 months ago