NualaBuala

how you told your story! Have you considered writing a book/short story? It might even be therapeutic. 2 months ago

I don’t know exactly what’s been happening but I can see you’re hurt and fed up.

I hope you’ll continue because although I often take breaks from 43T, I like reading your goals and entries, you’re one of the people I’m subscribed to. And I love getting your cheers!

So those are the selfish reasons I’d like you to stick around – what about whether it’s good for you though? I guess I’m in no position to advise on this because I tend to be quite cautious in my online life – after all, I’ve no idea who I’m really talking to. I try to offer all I can up to the point where it won’t bother me if the person isn’t what they seem or lets me down in some way. And I guess I do that in the rest of my life too.

I agree with Ms Smith, some great advice there. Whatever you’re going through now – it WILL pass. Regroup and focus on other things you want and how to achieve them. And at the same time, let go of any expectations that other people will respond in a certain way – you can never predict that – sometimes you will get more than you could have hoped for and sometimes less.

Take care of yourself Tigerman 2 months ago

Wishing you a wonderful birthday filled with love, joy and lots of fun!
Love and big birthday hugs,
Nuala 3 months ago

Thanks for sharing, I think I needed that today! 3 months ago

The only thing I can think of is to treat yourself the way you treat other people that you love and admire … and that includes the way you talk to yourself. I think our internal voice is often judgmental and harsh and we’d never speak to others that way. So be tender, considerate, kind and respectful to yourself at all times.

Hope you’re still working on this wonderful goal! 4 months ago

Hope you are back to feeling tippity top very soon!
Love and healing hugs,
Nuala 4 months ago

But you made me laugh cos I often feel that way too!

The only bit of advice I can offer is don’t go too far too fast but it sounds like you’re already doing it sensibly.

I’m easing back into running myself and am hoping to do my local half in September. I’m going to use Hal Higdon’s novice plan but first I need to get back into a regular routine of running several times a week. My goals are just to enjoy it, get fitter in the process of training and finish it with a smile on my face and injury-free.

You CAN do this – and what a wonderful and fun thing you’ve picked to do! I’ll bet when you’ve got a month of training under your belt you’ll feel a lot more confident about it! 4 months ago

for the HM yet? How long do you have to train?

Good luck! 4 months ago

to do … good for you Taz! 4 months ago

I’d challenge your statements too (so much easier than looking at my own!). After all, you just can’t know that and it’s very doubtful that those statements are true.

But deep in your heart – what do you really want?

And would you notice a nice man even if he were right under your nose? I only noticed the ones that were safely unavailable (like in a different country)! There was another guy who seemed nice initially and I even went out with once (in my mind it wasn’t a date though). But then he came on too strongly and persistently and it scared me and put me off being open to this even more.

I’m so confused about what I want – I’ve realised that this is bigger than I’d initially thought and I might have to turn it into its own goal. 4 months ago

And your words really resonated with me as I’m doing some soul-searching on this right now. 4 months ago

you feel better soon.
Sending love and good thoughts your way! 4 months ago

... I’m not sure that there is a best reason though. I think my reasons are good enough.

I sit/have sat/gone on retreat with several traditions and benefitted from them all in some ways. I understand your discomfort – I share something similar when I see teachers (dead and alive) worshipped or revered without discernment.

I’ve considered working retreats, originally that was what I was thinking of doing. But after looking into it and some discussion and more retreats, I’ve parked the idea for now. It’s something I would definitely consider in the future though – thanks for the suggestions. 4 months ago

For someone like me who’s not keen on the heat/humidity or creepy crawlies, there are LOTS of advantages to not going to Asia! :-)

And there is also the question of my carbon footprint (from travelling).

But there are no teachers or retreat centres that offer long term retreats here (in Ireland).

There is one suitable one in the UK and some in America but it’s very expensive and it would cost me less to go to Asia. And there are many wonderful teachers in Asia with expertise in the kind of practice I want to do, I guess that is the main reason I’d go to Asia.

Thanks for your comment though – I appreciate you pointing that out. 4 months ago

your muscles were the power element! Who needs the gym when you’re working hard like that?! 4 months ago

I joined several meetup groups and even went to a few events and met some nice people. But then other things started taking over so I lapsed.

Meditation and yoga have been great for me to meet people on a similar wavelength too. It helped that there were several people open to chatting – I know not everyone likes that.

Oh, and I like the knitting group idea. We have several here, been meaning to try them although I don’t think I could knit and talk at the same time! 4 months ago

A few separate sources have started alerting me to a possible fear that’s been lurking unnoticed, masked as something else I guess.

Different friends have brought up the subject of love and relationships and asked if I’m open to them. I’ve said no and it seemed that my lack of interest was for sound healthy reasons – like getting healthier and wanting to spend my time/energy on things I’m really interested in.

And my spiritual life has been of huge importance to me, I’ve really enjoyed the peace and equanimity that have developed and based on past experiences of love/lust (and everything in between), I felt that going down that road again would just throw me off course.

And so these friends have been giving me a nudge and then I read about spiritual bypassing and I’ve begun to wonder if I’m doing that.

As I practise mindful awareness, I realise that there is fear there when I even contemplate dating or relationships. And that fear quickly transitions to a lack of interest, aversion even … but there is a gap in between the two states.

I’ve met some very nice guys over the past year or so but I’m aware now that I’ve put up a wall.

Ok, so now I know there is fear there I’m going to try to make friends with it. If I still don’t want to get involved after that – then fine. But fear is a lousy reason to hold back. 4 months ago

I’m all out of cheers unfortunately!

Thanks so much for mentioning the livemocha website. I’m fascinated with the Nordic countries and have been thinking it might be fun to try to learn one of the languages, probably Swedish.

I’m going to sign up now and have a look at what’s on offer there.

Are you still learning Swedish? Hope you’re enjoying it if you are! 4 months ago

Some really resonated with me esp 18 and 20. 4 months ago

thank you Todd!

I’m sorry it took so long for me acknowledge your kind and thoughtful comment but it was and is much appreciated. 4 months ago

that it’s taken me so embarrassingly long to respond to this!

I’ve been very slowly working my way through the comments and cheers I received when I was away from 43T and shocked to see this was Oct 2010!

Anyway, thank you so much for your response, I really do appreciate it!

And ironically, this goal may be a little more relevant to me now than back then. Not sure it’s worth re-adding it though. 4 months ago

And glad you “survived” it! 4 months ago

I think you’re both right! I’m often a bit scared that it’ll “set in” but happily, that hasn’t happened.

I’m having to do a fair bit of delving into the past these days but I do it in bite-sized pieces so I can cope with the emotional stuff that comes up.

I really appreciate your support! 4 months ago

that recipe looks great! 4 months ago

that’s also going on the list!

Is that like tzatziki (sp?) In which case it should really be called Taz-iki! :-) 4 months ago