When I started this goal, I wanted to feel more confident in these particular areas:
· my personality
· my appearance
· being a good mother
· being a good daughter, sister, friend, person
· my intellect
· my intelligence
· my position in life
· my future relationships
· my ability to stand up for myself
· my small talk with people
I started this goal almost three years ago, on April 15, 2010, and since then, I think I have done pretty well.
◆ I no longer care if someone doesn’t like my personality. I think I kick ass awesomr, and if someone doesn’t like that, I am compleyely okay with it. Everyone has their opinions, and that’s great!
◆ I have grown to love my appearance, in all of its non-perfect glory. I used to pick on myself and stare into the mirror and make myself feel rotten, but not anymore! I won’t ever be a size 3 again (probably not even a 5), I will always have my Latin thighs and bum, I will always be shorter than most people, my toes will always point inward, my teeth won’t ever be Hollywood perfect…but that’s okay. I like having a womanly figure, my thighs and booty look good in jeans, I’m not short – I’m fun-sized (lol, love that), my pigeon toes are funny, and my teeth make a beautiful smile. That’s all that really matters. Plus, I finally have nails, which help a lot!
◆ Since then, I have become a fierce mama bear when it comes to being a good mother! In the beginning stages of my son having issues in school and the schools being general douch bags, I wasn’t able to get the ball rolling on being a good mom and shutting all of the douches up. I didn’t like confrontation of any sort (I still don’t), but I have learned to do what I have to do. I stopped listening to the school distric people and did what is best for my little dude. He’s homeschooling now, and doing better. The whole household isn’t so stressed like we were, things are calmer and we’re working on all kinds of things to better all of us.
◆ I am much more aware of family and people around me than I was when I started this goal. Back then, I was all about me, and what I wanted, and how I felt. I had a hard time relating to those close to me. I did stupid things because I wanted to, and I didn’t care what people thought. I now keep my family and friends (not that I have many) in mind when going day to day. I try to do nice things for my mom, son, sister, niece and nephew. I try to keep any attitude out of it, and try to maintain a smile and be happy. These people are my world!
◆ When it comes to my intellect or how I think, and what thoughts run through my mind, I am doing great! I still sometimes tend to latch on to the ideals of someobe else and use them to shape my own thoughts and ideas, but that doesn’t happen much anymore. I am proud of my thoughts, ideals and inner workings, and I hope others appreciate that.
◆ Intelligence is sexy!! To be well-spoken and willing to learn new information and soak up the world…is sexy! “Big” words that many people don’t hear and maybe don’t understand…are sexy! I love words! People will sometimes tell me I’m just a know-it-all (or something of the like), because I know bits and pieces of tons of information about everything. I love learning and knowing things…and teaching others, although not many folks care to listen, but that’s okay. I used to feel embarrassed about being a smart cookie, but I’m proud of it now! Very proud. I adore my intelligence and wouldn’t have it any other way. :)
◆ My position in life isn’t exactly where I want it to be quite yet, but I’m starting down that way soon. I am happy with where have have come from and where I have gotten to. I am happy with what I have and don’t worry too much anymore about what I don’t have.
◆ When I do have future relationships (definitely in the future!!), I am confident that I will know the difference between good, healthy behaviors and abusive destructive behaviors. I am confident that I will demand respect, and if that does not happen, I know I will be able to let the entire thing go and keep moving forward. I have been in too many bad relationships, that I now know I just have to find the opposite of what I have had. I think I’m golden!
◆ My ability to stand up for myself has increased a lot! I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me being blunt when I need to be. I used to avoid standing up for myself, but if I don’t do it, there surely is no chance that anyone else will. I deserve to be treated fairly and appropriately. I don’t fear that anymore. I a good person, and should be treated well. I’m getting much better at this.
◆ My small talk with othets isn’t perfect by any means, but I have grown from where I was. Small talk, for me, just isn’t a comfortable thing. I over think everything and my head get nervous. I usually just saw the first thing that comes to mind…I lack a great mental filter, but I’m doing okay. I talk to everyone, and not a soul would guess that Ms. Chatterbox me actually has issuses speaking to people I don’t have daily contact with. I’m a clumsy talker. This will get tons better once I start school…I hope!
So, for now, I have tackled every area of this goal, and in the spirit of April’s Boot Vamp, I am Spring Cleaning my list, and this is one to go to the Done Pile! :)
I’m sure there will be more areas similar to this down the road that I will have to add to my list again, bit I’m just going to keep on keeping on and going in this direction. My confidence will skyrocket in time! 1 month ago