Ash

the moon shines incandescently
against the onyx sky
swept up, I feel the pain
numb and staggering, all at once
I breathe deeply
not knowing where I find the strength
and they come faster, quicker, until
my feelings are fleeting 4 weeks ago

I love dreaming about places I could live…

Traverse City, MI is at the top, although Seattle or Manhattan sounds divine but I would love to escape to Europe for a few months, maybe take some classes in Paris or anywhere in Italy. New England for its charm. But running away to Newfoundland & Labrador would be cool.
Sigh. I am so indecisive in all areas of my life. 3 months ago

Mazzy Star has been one of my longtime favorites. With all of the gray & gloomy weather this past week (and continuing into this week), these lyrics spoke to me. 3 months ago

Okay. Perhaps I am setting the bar too high or something, but I don’t think that I can go every night being peacefully asleep by 11 o’clock at night. I should just take a melatonin and tell my brain to shut the hell up. Otherwise, it seems to be improving tremendously. I’d much like to become more of an early bird. 4 months ago

While we perused in Cleveland, we got a recommendation to go to Melt, which is a grilled cheese lovers heaven. To go along with my jalapeño popper sandwich (oh yeah, they dip the whole damn thing in batter and fry it), I decided on this lovely drink, which is topped off with a little champagne, my favorite. 4 months ago

The yellow chalk doesn’t mean anything. I fixed some words in the dark with what I thought was white chalk, and I was too lazy to “fix” it. I don’t think it needed fixing.

_{A little Blind Melon to start off the month…}4 months ago

Obviously not my first and not my last. My mom and I made a pitcher for the hot tub and then we all threw a game of catch with snowballs. Yes, the things we do for fun. 4 months ago

I’ve been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. I’ve had this chalkboard wall painted for about a year, and I haven’t really used it. Although my mom did create a wonderfully awesome picture of me in a wedding dress with breasts the size of planets. But that’s a story for a different time… 4 months ago

Sometimes the light goes out
But sometimes, the universe lets you know
It gives you a sign
That it’s okay
To try again
To let out that dusty breath
And you pick up where you left off

_{the only direction we flow is down, oh down}5 months ago

Tangerine sunbursts
runs over my skin, translucent
brightens my dulled senses 2 years ago

Oh lord… Getting over his shock at seeing his coulrophobic lady watching a horror movie about clowns, Paul’s lasting impression was that we ought to cancel our Netflix subscription. 6 months ago

Painfully sweet. 2 years ago

Another late night John Garfield flick for the masses. Devoured. 6 months ago

Some kind of gingery, blue – orangey thing. Delicious. 6 months ago

A late night black and white for the insomniacs. 6 months ago

I now need to find St. Germain, balk at its price, and slowly hand over my money. This thing was incredible. It also had chamomile bitters – something I need to find out how to make! 8 months ago

They said it was skinny. I said, ‘double the rum.’ 8 months ago

Just the other night I popped my head outside when calling Eli back in, and I took a deep breath. It smelled like autumn. I was so giddy!

I also liked what you said about being in nature suppressing your depression – I feel the same way. No treadmill can give me that euphoria. 8 months ago

There’s a leetle left, so I’m thinking of making an apple pie for the rest of it! 8 months ago

Seems to be getting better. It was getting to the point where it felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out of my skull. No good. Coffee doesn’t help that feeling but it does help me stay awake. Lately, I’ve been getting to sleep earlier, but it’s still around 1 or 2 in the morning. I’m trying to aim for around 10 or 11. Perhaps I should pick up some melatonin instead of straight Unisom for a change. I’m going to track my food too – I think that might have something to do with it as well. And, if all else fails, I always have some cleaning to do, it seems… 8 months ago

Two little letters that will be creeping back into my vocabulary this month. It seems as if every week we get asked or invited to do something, and the both of us have trouble saying ‘no.’ We found ourselves so busy the summer passed us by, taunting us with events and plans castaway. It’s hard for Paul to say no to helping someone, which is an admirable thing, but we have our own things we need to get done. I’m refusing to let Autumn pass us by. I’m standing firm.

This month, I’m making a list of things I’d like to accomplish:

• Fall planting – move sage, basil, thyme and rosemary in pots inside the house.

• Um, figure out what plants to, er, plant.

• Paint living room / hallway (buy paint: Quill by Olympic)

• Re-finish coffee table

• Make dentist, eye doctor appointments (bleh)

• Make test schedule for classes (and study this time, eh?)

There’s more, I’m certain. I’ll update as needed… 8 months ago

Oh man. I’m really happy Schep gave us his old ice cream maker. ‘Cause this stuff is what dreams are made of. During the summer, Paul and I like to go to Mason and putz around, normally we end the day by going to the local ice cream place and getting a cone of some kind – they have the best flavours: lemon, eggnog and cinnamon. Well, we missed out on the cinnamon soft serve this year, but I came up with the second best thing. And Elliot likes it too. 8 months ago

It was so great. We got away for a long weekend and explore a new city. London was great – I know we’ll return. The atmosphere, the people, the food. I cannot wait to further my exploration of this great country. We were talking about how awesome (and loooong) it would be to take a road trip from our house to Newfoundland & Labrador. Or from Michigan to Vancouver, or something like that. Paul really would like to go to BC. As would I. But I would go anywhere… 8 months ago