candiedsky

Work was fast because I have stopped looking at the clock every three minutes. I did a burpee workout and it totally worked my legs. My makeup looks nice today too.

:) 3 weeks ago

This describes how I feel about myself at the moment, and the current weather conditions.

I feel like I’m all talk lately. Saying I will do something, then not doing it. Over and over and over and over and over again.

I hate this feeling. I am definitely not as disciplined as I once was. I don’t exactly envy the time when I was waking up every morning to run half an hour, and then only have an apple and a glass of soy milk for breakfast. That was extreme and it was bad.

But just in general. I am exhausted all the time, and I keep failing at my runs and I keep comparing myself to professional athletes.

2013 has really sucked so far. I know what I have to do. I just feel so fucking weak. 3 weeks ago

Work was good because the restaurant that I work in won an award for being the best vegan/vegetarian restaurant in my city. So my bosses were gone for the entire time that I worked (they were at the awards ceremony!), only to return 15 minutes after we had already closed. I didn’t have to deal with the boss that I don’t like!

Then I did a bit of yoga before work. My skin looked good today.

:) 3 weeks ago

I feel as if I’m not great at anything. Just in the middle of the spectrum.

I am of average height. My shoe size is neither small nor large. My weight is average. When I go clothes shopping, I always fit into the mediums. My mile PR is far from extraordinary. My SAT scores: average. Grades: average. Accomplishments: average. Whenever I do a workout video, it’s on the intermediate level. Never advanced or amazing in any department. Writing skills: indistinguishable from others. Plain. Boring.

It is the worst feeling. I am just barely ‘good’ at a variety of things. Not gifted in anything. 3 weeks ago

My morning run actually happened. I was surprised that I managed to roll myself out of bed. I ran in a new neighbourhood and that was exciting.

I also picked up my prescriptions from the store and did a half hour of yoga later on.

EDIT: I forgot to mention: my new Saucony running half-zip top arrived through UPS today. It fits perfectly and it’s bright pink!

:) 3 weeks ago

My morning run was two miles instead of the planned five. I started this run three hours later than I planned. I know I can’t run well when it’s hot out (like today), but I forget about success when I roll over and resume sleeping.
Though it’s never worth it. Once that alarm goes off, any sleep I get in afterwards is low quality; barely dipping into actual sleep, just skating on the surface of temporary unconscious. Or something like that.

But more excitingly; I did an hour of yoga today for the first time in a long time, and a short ab workout, and my hill sprints.

My dermatologist appointment went well. I was given free samples and coupons, and then I made banana pudding and poured it into a graham cracker crust that turned out to be stale.

Nice day. So You Think You Can Dance was entertaining.

:) 4 weeks ago

Work was fast and I have stuck with the No Weigh May and I feel ready for tomorrow’s run!

:) 4 weeks ago

I had a lengthy conversation at work with a waitress. It was weird and perverted. It was awesome. Also, the co-owner brought in House of Leaves. I am already past the introduction. Intriguing is a good word to describe it. I am already hooked.

:) 4 weeks ago

I went to IKEA for the first time today. It was time consuming and fun to look at all the different things for sale. I also bought two pints of vegan ice cream at Target (I have never seen vegan ice cream at Target and I got excited) and I ate both of them before I went to work. I also sat down at work again and read. I enjoy this quite a bit, and now that I feel like I can sit down at work I don’t feel as tired going home.

:) 4 weeks ago

One of my bosses asked me if I’ve ever read a horror story called “House of Leaves” (because he saw me reading a book), and I said I hadn’t. He said I should read it and he was really excited about it. One of the co-owners said she had read the book and she would bring it in for me tomorrow!

I ate cobbler in the car on the ride home and overall had a fast-paced but relaxed day.

:) 4 weeks ago

I had a carrot cake cupcake at work today. I also sat down and read a book at work.

I have never done this before. When I want to read, I go in the storage room and stand back there to read. I have this irrational but very controlling fear of sitting down at work. Because I feel like I look fat while sitting (This goes back pretty far).

But I did today. It felt unnerving but I am tired of standing when I can sit down.

Before work I watched more episodes of The O.C. Very good stuff.

:) 4 weeks ago

Extremely sore today. But only in my legs. I watched a few episodes from season 3 of The O.C. I am back on this show. I love it. I haven’t really watched any episodes since I found out I got rejected from UO. It feels appropriate now.

:) 4 weeks ago

I woke up at 5:21 am this morning to prepare for the first of many morning runs.

I ran 7 miles today. After a week of rest. I have never ran 7 miles before – my previous longest distance was 6.24 miles (a 10k).

I have a 7 mile race in June. And this was such a confidence boost in terms of feeling like I can accomplish something.

Then my ModCloth dresses arrived here! The large dress that I re-ordered fits me! It’s tight but it could work.

:) 1 month ago

My boss gave me a piece of derby pie and a piece of chocolate cake free today at work, in addition to my free meal. They said it was because I worked so hard over the weekend. Really nice and unexpected.

:) 1 month ago

Today was one of the busiest days I’ve ever had at work. Saturday night was our record, but I guess Mother’s Day brought in the crowds. I was swamped for the first 4 hours, followed by a short lull and then another huge surge of people.

8 hour shift. I needed it. And my boss (the NICE one) even gave me a free piece of derby pie for my mom since it was Mom Day.

Then I came home and watched Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist.

:) 1 month ago

It was too good to be true. Two hours into my shift, (8pm), the boss that I hate lumbered in through the door. Apparently he’s still sick. He needs to stay home. For as long as possible.

But I sang Happy Birthday to some customer in the restaurant and it was going against everything social anxiety has forced me to do. It was nice.

I ate a veggie burger on the way home. I also went to the library before work, and I started reading 1Q84. It’s over 900 pages! I have until 1 June.

Then, on Saturday Night Live, GARTH AND KAT WERE ON!!!! They haven’t been on for a year. That was a nice surprise.

:) 1 month ago

The boss that I hate wasn’t there again today! Two days in a row. Work has been awesome because of this. I wish it were permanent.

Then during the car ride home, Somebody’s Baby came on the radio. I love this song, and for some reason I never hear it anywhere. I ate vegan grilled cheese and it was perfectly melty and greasy. Yes.

:) 1 month ago

So at work, I basically have two bosses. I like one and hate the other. The one I LOATHE wasn’t there, for the first time ever. Apparently he has a cold. I don’t want to wish sickness on anyone but it was such a great day of work with him not there.

:) 1 month ago

I was supposed to wake up this morning for another early run. I don’t know what my problem is right now. I know you can’t wait for things to be ‘perfect’ to begin. I know this, and yet I still wait for it.

Anyways. This hasn’t been that great of a week. I will replace one rest day NEXT week with the workout I will inevitably skip again tomorrow. Yoga is what I need right now. Yoga.

:) 1 month ago

I woke up this morning and kicked ass. I ran repeats and had a fantastic speed workout. I can’t remember the last time I was awake at this time.

I went to physical therapy as well. It was the last time I will see that particular physical therapist. She is really nice; I liked her and I’ll miss her.

:) 1 month ago

I stayed awake until 5am this morning, signing up for my first ever college classes. I am not done yet – I am unsure what courses are required for all freshman, and ones that are necessary for my particular major. I will have to email my guidance counselor concerning these questions.

At work, I wore a pink sweater and my meal was a slice of chocolate cake and they gave me a bowl of blueberry cobbler too. They said it was employee appreciation Monday. I ate both in the car and they were really damn good.

Tired from physical exertion is a good tired. Tired from lack of sleep is a horrible tired.

:) 1 month ago

I had a loooooooooong day at work but it was an 8 hour shift, just like I needed.

I came home and watched Mrs. Doubtfire. Which is odd because I can’t stand Robin Williams.

I ate vegan grilled cheese and tomato soup on the car ride home. Perfect combination.

:) 1 month ago

Today went by really quickly. Work did too. I asked sexy J’s cousin if he had watched Troll 2 and she said she didn’t know. I’ll hopefully be getting it back soon.

I feel kind of inadequate today. I ordered some CDs online, along with new running tights and more Irish breakfast tea and melatonin. The rest of my money will be in the bank by Tuesday. I can’t wait to buy my dress and sign up for those races!

:) 1 month ago

A bullet list day:

• my IT compression band came in the mail today- I wore it while mowing the lawn and it seems to work well! Even though running is a different motion than mowing.
• I worked an extra half hour into my shift today. That means an extra $3.60 or so. It adds up over time.
• I got paid today and it was $2 more than I expected
• I talked to this guy Joe at work today- he eats a lot at the restaurant, and he’s a really fast runner; we talked for a good 10 minutes or so. It was full of awkward pauses and ended in him apoligising for making a bad pun out of something I said about running tights. But we laughed it off and I said a pun back to him. I don’t meet that many runners so it was nice and refreshing!
• a crazy guy on drugs (maybe drunk as well) was banging on all the windows in the restaurant. Then he started running laps around the building. My boss called the cops and he was put on a stretcher. It made for an interesting Friday night
• there was a German chocolate cake that fell apart, so we couldn’t serve it to the customers. So I got to take some home. I ate vegan grilled cheese again and it was so good.

:) 1 month ago

My sister made vegan brownies today and I’m eating some now. I ate vegan grilled cheese in the car on the way home. It rained and I listened to songs I used to listen to when I was in high school.

I dropped off my return package at the post office today – my ModCloth stuff arrived yesterday, but the dress was way too small and the boots were too big so I’m getting them exchanged for correct sizes.

Sexy J wasn’t at work today, like the schedule said. When I got there his shifts had been crossed out in Sharpie. I guess last Thursday really was the last day I’ll see him until August. And even then; it’s a big school. So I might not run into him often.

But he is going to App State, and I’m going to App State. I should stop complaining.

I also found this website called Style Nanda and it’s a Korean online clothing store that has the cutest dresses. Oh my god. I get paid tomorrow and I need to control myself.

:) 1 month ago

As of today, I am ready to register for my first semester classes at App State. I had to take this quiz about important information ABOUT signing up for classes. I had to score a 70% or better to move on, and I had three attempts. I got 80% on the first try and that worked!

Also, my mom said her summer schedule would allow me to sign up for this race series in Boone. The first race is 7 miles, and it’s the day before my birthday. The other two take place on the school campus, and by then I will already be enrolled in the school, living in the dorms… college life etc.

This is so awesome!!

I get paid tomorrow. And the first thing I’m doing is registering for those 3 races. I will also book my hotel for the 7 mile race and for my half marathon in July.

Want to know something crazy? The second race in the series is another half marathon. This means I will be signing up for my second half marathon, without ever having ran one in the first place.

I like challenges!

:) 1 month ago

I weighed myself this morning.

1 May 2013: 160.6

This has been my weight for three consecutive days. I am very surprised/happy and can’t wait to see what I weigh in a month!

The next time I’m stepping on the scale is on the first of June.

So we’ll see. I would like to see a weight in the 150s (obviously) and I think a month is plenty of time. So I’ll get specific: my goal is to lose 5 pounds by next month. I can do this.

1 June 2013: 1 month ago

Weighed myself this morning: 160.6

A solid number for two days. Tomorrow is the last morning that I am weighing myself. Then the “No-Weigh May” challenge begins. I’m excited for it actually.

I woke up when my alarm went off. But then I went right back to sleep. I guess only getting 3 hours of sleep will do that to you. I have learned my lesson though – I tried to make up my five miles later in the day, and I only got .5 miles done. Also, my right knee is starting to have problems. UGH not now. Please. Please be temporary.

But New Girl was hilarious. And my mom came home with Chinese food and it was great.

:) 1 month ago