Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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Recent entries from cherylllr

cherylllrWhat about her? What about joy?

Do you like her? Do you trust her? Is it possible for all of you to do things together once in a while? If so, and if you are ‘allowed’ to be poly, too, then go ahead and talk it over with both of them with an open mind.

Do you have children? With this guy? Would they be ok spending more time with these other kids? How old are all the kids? Teens tend to assume that whatever is going on is nefarious – even reassurances by all adults involved that everyone is being honest and giving permission isn’t enough to placate them. Little kids tend to like having more people to pay attention to them.

Do your bf and his ex like each other for more than sex? If they’re just wanting to scratch each other’s itches, I’d be very wary. Oh, and speaking of sex – Protection! If you can’t trust him to wear it with her, he’ll have to with you – you can’t trust her that far.

But you know what, the bottom line is, neither you nor your bf own each other, or can actually give permission. So don’t think of it that way. Instead:

Think about it like “sure honey, she’s a fine woman. I wouldn’t be comfortable if you started forgetting about things you and I had planned together, but if you want to visit her sometimes I’ll find something else fun for me to do while you’re gone.”

Or else like “Well, honey, I’m just not feeling comfortable enough with the strength of our relationship right now. Maybe if I get to know her better, and if you and I spend some more time exploring intimate adventures, maybe we can both join a forum or a Yahoo group about polyamory and see what kinds of things people with experience talk about. But I’d really not be happy at this time, maybe never but I’ll try to think about it, if you go over to her place and have sex.”

See, you and your bf need to be able to love each other enough to talk about it completely, with love and respect and with joy.



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