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over halfway through ‘Imagine’ by Jonah Lehrer.

If you haven’t read this book then DO IT! 9 months ago

came out to my stepmother and a friend from high school while visiting home. slowly making my way in to my inner circle of friends.

it feels so amazing just to talk about it candidly, confidently, to figure out the language of it and to use that language comfortably.

stepmom insists my dad will be fine with it but also noted it might be nice to tell him in person. i will see him again on my twenty-first birthday… as if i weren’t already nerve-wracked enough by my birthday alone. oh jeez. 9 months ago

Don’t you love the feeling of finishing a book? The frantic race to the final page, the exhilaration… mmmmm. 9 months ago

fifty pages left in The Plague! :)

Next up:

Imagine by Jonah Lehr
—or!
Ficciones by Jorge Luis Borges

(which one first?!) 9 months ago

You can tell my mood is improving because I thought of TWO TODAY!

I could eat chicken noodle soup for every meal and never get sick of it. Truly. 9 months ago

-quitting smoking
-getting into healthy exercise habits
-getting my Masters
-traveling abroad
-falling in love (hopefully a few times!)
-volunteering and learning more about the social justice issues that matter to me
-learn to bartend
-going on an epic road trip (of some sort)

I graduate college this December and it’s hard not to feel like “after this, it’s over. No more room to grow.”

Mentally I find myself capping my progress at 25ish—“oh gosh, if I don’t travel and do grad school and fall in love and blah blah blah RIGHT AS SOON AS I graduate then I’m doomed!”

All this is silly. I have plenty of time. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get going, but there is time. 9 months ago

The Plague by Albert Camus

20 pages an hour =
100 pages a day =
2(ish) days.

that is… if I can stay on track. 9 months ago

and the END of this pathetic cycle of sleeping-in-late, feeling-groggy-all day.

Soon I should hope to be able to wake up automatically come work-time. Onto the next goal! 9 months ago

I just moved into a new place with my friend last night. It’s much more spacious and homey and this time around I get to have a massive bed!

TODAY, I LOVE LIVING IN DORLAND<3 9 months ago

logging on here every afternoon at work has helped to remind me—oh! I haven’t had any water today!

I’ve made it a habit of drinking a glass or two before bed. Now if I can similarly motivate myself in the morning… I bet my days would be much brighter. 10 months ago

i got a(nother) job today! yes! yes!

ever since i lost my cashier job i’ve been sleeping in till noon, feeling lousy all day while waiting to go to my other job. haven’t felt excited by much. bored. sad. blah.

i need required routine in order to rise above my natural malaise. i’m so stoked to have a reason to get up in the morning—even if it’s just a filing job. when my days are longer, i have more energy, i get more thinking done, i feel like less of a bum and a slob.

here’s to waking up early! 10 months ago

it’s hard to see the things you love, hiding in plain view, among the everyday routine.

today at work i sat with my chin in my hand for a full minute trying to think of what i loved today. nothing came to mind.

but now that i think of it: i love my lovely friends. we had a beautiful weekend together trying to beat the heat with a naked party and a few handles of vodka. for the first time in a while i felt really close to people, and really happy.

so today i love sunshine, vodka, and my strange summer pals <3 10 months ago

I decided a few weeks ago that my feelings of guilt and shame around hiding my sexuality had grown too huge. With the help of my therapist I’ve become more comfortable with myself and ready, I think, to start telling my friends.

One of the girls I live with identifies as bisexual and I knew she of all people would be supportive. I had built my “coming out” up so much in my head that I expected fireworks to go off and the whole world to stop turning when I finally said it out loud. Syke! It just rolled off the tongue really conversationally, no big deal at all…

I put so much primacy on the word—to me, to say something is to make it real, but after telling my friend I discovered that the DOING—the getting-myself-out-there and finding-somebody-I-like—is what really makes one’s identity. So while I’ve made steps on this goal it is not yet complete. I still have people to tell (my family, for instance) and things to do. But I’m less scared and more empowered now. 10 months ago

is remaining organized. to-do lists for the whole week are an effective way to keep things in perspective and keep myself in check.

i’ve been at this college shit for two years now. i know i can do this, and i know it means a lot to me to do well. i just need to believe that i’ve still got it in me and find that fiesty freshman that still hides within me somewhere. 20 months ago