diosa

reminding me! Sometimes it feels like everyone is doing a thesis and its a common thing so I should treat it like no big deal…major minimizing going on!..

Dirty dancing is one of my fave movies :) Its so fun! 3 months ago

may try this! I have often found the hulk to be more refreshing than spiderman…its def. his vibrancy! :P 3 months ago

I’ve got feedback in but the contingencies have changed, my supervisor now wants some the thesis articles to be under review or accepted at the time of defense. This is going to make things take much longer…
Article 2 – GT feedback completed, working on supervisor feedback, journal chosen for submission
Article 1 – GT feedback in, not worked on it yet
Article 3 – GT feedback in, supervisor feedback in – not worked on it yet, no journals chosen…. 3 months ago

Finished the BB antibac lotion in my purse!! This is a small victory but that thing lasted forever, Im now onto the BB coconutlime antibac lotion!! (heres to hoping that it goes more quickly!) 3 months ago

-3 min meditation
-Roses and a rental on vday from Mr. D
-Worked diligently on my thesis but starting to get worried that its not going to get done in time – I’ve blocked out my timelines until August and it doesn’t look good
-No workouts – 30min stretching :(
-Movie night with cuz and sister
-Shopping trip resulted in the long coveted flat black high boots.

“Light”
I’ve noticed that the thesis really messes with my commitment to be light. I get naggy and negative and I find it makes my patience so short. I try to remind myself that its normal to feel this way given that its the 6th year with the same project but its just so aversive. Yet, if I procrastinate it will hang over my head. Either way I don’t win. I feel like its put me in a corner…but…NOBODY puts BABY in a CORNER!...sorry obviously this is making me wonky…brainstorming ways out of this corner… 3 months ago

do it! 3 months ago

3 min meditation
20 min stretching/yoga
Attended mechanics class – we examined suspension systems! – Have noticed that feel better when doing things even if I don’t feel like doing them initially
Went to an interesting talk at work – on countertransference – very informative and timely!
Skipped out on the resident activity but had a good chat with one of the residents about the socializing or lack there of that is going on…interesting to know its not just me that feels kind of disconnected and sad after one of our hang outs…sometimes its important to remember that its not all me!

Sugar in: pumpkin spice latte..sigh ..litte resistance to the latte..

‘Light Refracts’

I successfully did not nag about the dishes and I’ve realized it makes me feel less cranky, like it pulls my focus away from that and helps me re-focus our time together to the stuff that matters…
I snuggled and it made me happy

Im thinking about lent and im thinking maybe this lent its not about giving things up but about adding things in – more kindness, saying the nice things I sometimes think in my head but then hold back…. 3 months ago

-1 min meditation
-60 min yoga class with the intention of good self-care

Sugar in: granola bar, peanut butter dessert

‘Light’
-Unexpected dinner out with a tasty poutine for dinner
-Funny moment with the cat 3 months ago

40 min yoga & cardio was a nice walk through the snowy neighbourhoods around my apartment :)
which also allowed me to indulge in a snow angel!
3 min meditation (still falling asleep) and attended church

Sugar in: Raspberry latte

‘lightness’
-Really tasting my spinach/feta/egg wrap that I used to motivate me through my thesis work
-Enjoying the sun on my face
-Letting Mr. D know I’m trying to cut down on nagging to keep me motivated
-A funny movie
-Decided to see my trip to work on the bus as a snow adventure! 3 months ago

taste good?
It looks like it might be refreshing, like the hulk :) 3 months ago

20 min on treadmill
2 min meditation, 1 reading on mindfulness

Sugary treats in: donut, granola bar

‘Keeping it light’
-Did group all on my own, felt independent and took the time to personalize it, when I lead a group unsupervised Im more myself and the content comes across in a more relaxed way
-I did the dishes and requested help on kitchen clean up but regressed to nagging later on in the night (!) – its so hard not to nag! I can hear myself doing it….and I sound like a pain in the butt!
-Auto mechanics class (!) – learned to change a tire and found out my car doesn’t need the repair suggested by other mechanic (saved 1500)
-Went to dinner with the other residents – had a good laugh about cats and their cat-like ways 3 months ago

20min on the treadmill
40min light yoga
5 min meditation

Sugary treats in: 2 scoops ice cream

‘Its easy to be heavy; hard to be light’
-An episode of New Girl
-Funny moment about how when you don’t know the song lyrics you fill it with a sound (in Mr. D’s case ‘ni ni ni’)
-Bought a jar to fill with notes that list the date and good events of 2013 – to be opened on NYD of 2014
-had a nag fest on Mr. D…oops! 3 months ago

I think I want this to be a month of continuing the momentum of January by:

-Working out regularly – going beyond stretching to return to regularly incorporating cardio
-Regular meditation and continued maintenance of a decent diet (not going to limit myself but continuing moderation on eating synthetic sugary treats)
- Continuing the ‘challenge, challenge, challenge’ attitude at work
-Keeping it ‘light’ – Remembering the humour and the fun :) 3 months ago

Reinvigorate
-Joined an auto mechanics class with Mr D.
-Accidental silly night led to a funny story
-A little meditation, a little stretching, and a little exercise…not as much as I would have liked

Reinvent
-“Its easy to be heavy; hard to be light”
-“Challenge, challenge, challenge”

A start to the year, not necessarily the best start but a start.. 3 months ago

Love life, live large

My suggestions
Feb Bootcamp 2013: Focused and Forging
Feb Bootcamp 2013: Light and Living

Thanks for starting the chain! 3 months ago

Reinvigorate
-Attended our first auto mechanics class (!)
-Was in the audience with my mom for a local tv show – got lots of freebies including the new Lady Gaga perfume…leading to us pondering the mystery – what does Lady Gaga smell like?
-Went to see the French film Amour – sad, thinker, very French and then a buffett dinner where I had a little of everything and not too much
-A few stretches, a long winter walk taking pictures of my suburban neighbourhood, about 10 minutes meditation in total all week (I kept falling asleep!)

Reinvent
-Finished reading The Happiness Project, and it gave me lots to think about…I agreed with lots and not with some of it but I esp. like 2 of the ideas
“Its easy to be heavy; hard to be light”
“Be Gretchen”

-the first about the effort to be lighthearted and to smile, to see the good and not the bad – it acknowledges the effort that takes and that was part of the re-invention I wanted for myself..I could see myself carrying this saying forward…
-the second is what the author tells herself – to remember to be herself and sometimes that means finding things fun that others don’t and letting go of the things you wish brought you happiness (e.g. I will likely not be one of those ppl who finds happiness partying hard every weekend, or I need quiet time to recharge not people time) 3 months ago

It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light

Truth. I just finished this book and this rang a huge bell. It takes alot of personal strength to smile instead of frown, to look to the bright side, to hold back the nagging, to be engaged and accept the pleasant as warmly as I embrace the angry side. Thank you, Gretchen Rubin. 3 months ago

What is israeli dancing? Is it like belly dancing?

Sounds fun! 3 months ago

being held with love is all that a day needs, and in that moment, I felt it was going to ok. 3 months ago

Reinvigorate
-1 hr yoga class
-Finished True Blood season 4 – escapist but oh so enjoyable.. (Eric <3)
-Tidied the house
-Went to a friend’s house for dinner and a movie
-Fixed my laptop and worked on my thesis

Reinvent
-I’m not sure re-invention can happen so quickly…Im striving for this elusive work confidence but it seems so un-natural…Im striving to connect with others with my concerns but I really want to close up – going out to a friends is a step forward in opening up but ignoring a phone call from a concerned friend in favour of escapism is a step back
Change is def. not a linear progression…. 4 months ago

Reinvigorate
-Signed up me and Mr. D for a car mechanics class – it starts next week. We’ve always wanted to take a class together :)
-We went to see a play together – Kim’s Convenience – about a Korean man and his dreams and how they play out with his Canadian born children (great!)
-20 min elliptical, 2x yoga (30 min), 5 min of meditation total
-much better sleep with Mr D. visiting, eating (not well) but at least doing that….
-True blood season 4 came in for me at the library and im loving that….indulging in mental escapes….

Reinvent
-Struggling hard to see myself differently – to see me as competent at work, to see myself as a support for my family in this hard time….
-I have told 3 close friends about what is going on – which is very different from how I would have done things in the past, I have kept in touch with my sister but pulled back from my parents – its hard to be close with them when they cope by denial but i did finally call them yesterday
-At work, I’ve been inconsistent – sometimes better and sometimes totally off the ball – yet I’m too drained to try to figure out why… 4 months ago

So post-xmas clean-up happened, feeling a bit bad about getting so many things (+ boxing day purchases) so went through the wardrobe again
Out
-2 shirts, a purse, a scarf (tag still on), a dress that fits badly,
a dress that is very old, nightgown
-2 books
-3 dvds, 1 CD

-Taking hand soap off the list as have only 2 extra and Mr. D has one extra for himself so we are good there
Determined to keep my clothing count normalish – given that I will be moving again in 7.5 months
I think these regular purges are great so I think I may do an apartment purge every 2 months… 4 months ago

I feel neither re-invigorated nor re-invented.
I’ve thought about writing my update here but have been afraid to b/c it will make it real…and I was afraid to tear up again, which I feel is what I’ve been doing way too much of lately.

Here goes…my dad may be sick again, tests are pending. It may be the return of C (I won’t even write it). He had it 10 years ago, I don’t remember too much other than alot of hurt and numbness. I was much younger and coped by crying in my car and numbing out to accomplish daily tasks. I think my brain has removed that time from my memory for me b/c it was so painful. I literally only have random spurious memories when normally I have a great memory…. So there it is…I will wait and see but I have the same bad feeling in my gut that I did 10 years ago and I trust my instincts but in this case I hope to that which is greater that Im wrong….

In the meantime…
-read for work, cleaned, went out with a friend, caught up on manuscript work, donated a bag of stuff to goodwill…trying to keep on doing but not sleeping so well….just doing things like some robot who occasionally cries…

Not sure if I can or will write more on this but this is the emotional background of my present…. 4 months ago

happy to be helpful! Glad you found such a great insight. 4 months ago

Reinvigorate & Reinvent
-Outing with other residents was an attempt to reinvent but though I enjoy their company I sometimes feel lonely when Im with them b/c I don’t feel as close to them as older friends therefore the conversation seems more superficial….though when i give myself a reality check – closer friends have been in my life for at least a few years (min) and its only been 4 months soooo….gotta relax and give it time
-20 min yoga
-Skype with Mr. D – very reinvigorating
-Finished True Blood season 3 – still love that show.
-Got compliments on my talk – did power poses before it and repeat challenge, challenge, challenge to myself…. doing it for me and for client well-being and staying focused on that….
-Called a contact to get info on the job market when I finish in Sept 2013 4 months ago

what is the video called?
i’d be interested in something like that! Thanks! 4 months ago

I know I’ve commented little I often have read your comments/posts and found them to be insightful, interesting, and touching. Thanks! 4 months ago

salad sounds yummy!
Fingers crossed for your travel job 4 months ago

hear. I also am just getting over the flu and its such a relief to being moving around again (albeit slowly)! 4 months ago